


Monsters and Men

by churroscuro



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Friends to Lovers, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2017-01-22
Packaged: 2018-09-11 17:05:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 45,703
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8999431
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/churroscuro/pseuds/churroscuro
Summary: The line between hero and villain is fine and blurred. Kara is as fallible as she is super. Lena is as altruistic as she is dishonest. Kara dreams of losing everything she holds dear once again and Lex had warned Lena about the fallibility of the men that played gods. Despite it all the pair grow together and defy legend; a Super and a Luthor save the world.Pre-relationship to relationship. Slow burn. Angst.





	1. Reality in Motion

**Author's Note:**

> There's comic!canon once it hits the main plot but all plot points are explained.

2.37am. Kara found herself jerking awake, heart pounding and her lungs burning for another breath. She glanced to the clock. Her shoulders sagged. Memories of her dream, her nightmare, came flooding back all too quickly.

Growing up Kara had a reoccurring dream of Krypton burning. She watched as the faces of her family melted from their skin in an unrealistic, garish way. The images had haunted her in her waking moments, ever dangling in the peripheries of her sight, threatening to come to life whenever she turned to meet them.

For several months after her arrival Kara was never certain if the voices she had heard were from her dreams, or if her improved hearing turned every noise into a crack of thunder, and every voice into a scream for help.

Her dreams that night were similar and it was a type of dream she not had in a long while. Instead of Krypton, though, it was National City that burned. In place of her mother, father, aunt: Alex, James, J'onn. Their faces melting. Their cries deafening.

Kara stood and moved to her window. Her stomach unknotted when she saw National City as it was. Asleep, intact.

_Why?_  Kara wondered. It was the only word she could manage, the rest of her thoughts fragmented and unfinished. Why was she dreaming like this again? Why was National City burning? What did it mean? Is there some bizarre premonition-superpower she wasn't aware of? Probably not.

_Just a bad dream._

Kara left it at that and returned to bed. There she lay, sleepless, until her alarm. Her head turned back to the window and her breath caught once more. For a brief moment the sun's first rays hit National City, a brilliant red arcing across the sky. For that second Kara was back in her dream. Back at Krypton. Her city was red with flames, red with Rao's dying light.

_Just a bad dream_. Kara repeated to herself, her eyes still fixed on the blood red city.

The sun rises. The moment passes. Kara's chest eases and she sits up. She glances to the clock again, takes a minute for herself. In quiet whispers she recites an old Kryptonian prayer, traces her family emblem into the sheet beside her.

Kara didn't need her superpowers to know that the day ahead was going to be a long one.

\--

Snapper Carr was Kara's first interaction for the day. She had foregone coffee and breakfast uncharacteristically at the bid of her unsettled stomach. So Snapper's assignment briefing was welcome, despite its harsh, condescending tone.

Lena Luthor. National City's current trending topic. Even those who cared particularly little for science and technology typically kept up with the Luthors by virtue of Lena's brother. Snapper Carr made it obvious he did not particularly trust Kara with such a significant personality, but he was observant and realised that Lena had a certain affinity with Kara. And so, Kara found herself at LCorp. She spoke with Lena's secretary, Jess, and asked when Lena would be free, more than willing to wait around to allow herself some time to gather her thoughts.

"Miss Luthor said to let you in any time." Jess echoed Lena's words with friendliness in her eyes.

"It's nothing urgent, really, I don't want to interrupt anything." Kara urged.

Regardless, Jess phoned Lena and then gestured to the door with a smile, indicating for her to go ahead. Kara nodded, her smile still dampened by the dream that sat at the edge of her vision.

Kara's eyes met Lena's the instant she stepped into the room and suddenly her breath was taken away. Lena was professional, charismatic. Despite being human, Kara had no doubt that Lena's eyes could burn through men, and her breath could freeze hearts. Sometimes Kara saw that humans had more power and ambition than Kryptonians ever had back on Krypton. Especially in women like Lena.

"To what do I owe this pleasure Kara?"

Kara eased, a smile gracing her lips. At the sound of her name, spoken so softly, she felt more as if she was at home, with friends. She felt less alien.

"My boss wants me to write a piece on you. LCorp looks like it'll make a name for itself here in National City."

"And everyone wants to hear what the Luthors are up to. Especially when they move from one Super-city to the next."

Kara watched as Lena spoke every word with measured resentment. Kara replied, "They're going to be sorely disappointed when I write about LCorp and its boss, then."

Lena laughed. Her hands rested in front of her and she looked relieved, almost casual now.

"Few can pull off naïvety as well as you, Kara."

Kara smiled in response. Small, at first, then larger as her thoughts turned to "naïve" and how often it was used to describe Kara Danvers.

Supergirl was not naïve. She saw the best in people, she had hope and optimism. She could also lift trucks above her head with a single hand, and often saw the very worst creatures the universe had to offer. She did not walk down the street with fear, for no-one could touch her. Better yet, she was powerful enough to save others, mostly without breaking a sweat. She had total command of every scene she walked into, respect earned by the sigil on her chest. Her optimism was as bulletproof as her skin, perhaps even moreso. So no, Supergirl was not naïve. She was a hero.

Kara Danvers was from Midwest, her family unit not perfect but cohesive. She was a pretty, young blonde girl who had a good job and good apartment, and she spoke of strangers with kind words, like they were friends. She was meek, clumsy and trusting. Her continued existence a mere product of chance, for somehow no-one had broken her yet. No-one had crushed that optimism from her. She was no hero, no. Just naive.

Kara was okay with being naive, as it allowed her to be Supergirl. Without it she would be, well, human. With a cape. And perhaps, like many human legacies before, she would fall from grace. Become the villain. Being naive, being Kara Danvers kept her human, kept her Kryptonian all in one.

Kara realised how long she'd been silent, lost in thought, when she caught Lena staring. Lena saw Kara re-orientate herself and grinned once more, her dark lipstick contrasting so beautifully with her pale skin, "Off on another planet?"

"Yeah, something like that." Kara replied with a chuckle, "Not the first time I've been called naive."

Lena stood and moved around her desk, now leaning on top of it opposite Kara, "It's endearing. I barely expected to make any friends here in National City. Let alone someone like you, Miss Danvers."

_Someone like you._ Vague as it was it was sincere, as Lena was with most things she said to Kara. Kara barely noticed her nightmare slip away, its dark aura being displaced by the usual sunny disposition of Kara Danvers.

"I just believe everyone deserves a chance to build their own reputation. Lena Luthor...LCorp...I can easily see those names being held up next to CatCo and Supergirl. National City is lucky to have you."

Lena looked at Kara, a peculiar expression settling on her face. She smiled again, never really stopping around Kara because how could you?

"You're too kind."

After that they settled into questions, Lena more at ease than Kara had seen her. Before she knew it her thoughts of her nightmare had dissipated. The scorching memory of melting faces seemed hazy, distant. The conversation grew beyond the interview, the questions turning to childhood stories and bad jokes. Their meeting ended with a hug, one initiated by Kara to assure the woman of their friendship.

On her journey back to CatCo Kara could only think about Lena and LCorp, what the future held for National City. Her city. The future looked bright. Brighter than it had that morning, at least.

As if on cue, before the world could seem too serene, Kara heard gunfire from a few kilometers away. Bullets she could face. That she could handle. Ducking into an alley she tore clothes from her body, the red and blue engulfing her completely. She ran, her legs carrying her as fast as they dared, then leapt into the brilliant blue sky above.

Up, up and away.


	2. Love/Paranoia

1.12am. Lena glanced at the clock when she felt her eyelids grow heavy. Still at the office, an abandoned cup of coffee now cold at her side.

Lena forced herself to pack up, not keen to spend another night falling asleep in her office chair. Her inability to delegate would kill her, or so she heard in Jess's concerned mutter one day.

Lena made her way to the bottom floor, contemplating calling her driver. Or taxi. Glancing to her watch she figured she could walk home, it wasn't far.

En route Lena was enraptured by National City’s architecture. Much of Metropolis had been ruined over the years due to Superman's many enemies, and so the architecture was mostly modern and new. National City still held most of its older buildings. Government houses, clock towers, churches and cathedrals from the 1800s.

Before Lena could become too invested in the city surrounding her the journey was interrupted by a voice sounding behind her.

"Do you always take a walk at one in the morning, Miss Luthor?"

Lena jumped at the sound despite its familiarity then turned to the source of the voice behind her, floating several feet in the air. At the sight of the caped crusader she could not help but smile. Coolly she replied, "No rest for the wicked, Supergirl. Do you always fly at the this time?"

Supergirl smiled in return and it reached her eyes as she did so, "No rest for the wicked, Miss Luthor." She descended slowly until her feet touched the ground, so softly it was hard to believe she had made contact at all. "Are you heading anywhere in particular? It's not safe at night. I could take you there."

"Home. It's not far. And no offence but I'm not the biggest fan of flying."

Supergirl shone even in the night. The streetlights bounced from her crest and golden hair and the streets had never felt safer. Her smile was glowing in the moonlight when she replied, "Not everyone is. I can walk you. I'd hate to see the headlines if I left and you got kidnapped five minutes later."

Lena laughed and nodded her head back in the direction of her house. As they walked Lena asked, "Why aren't you sleeping, Supergirl? Surely even Kryptonians need to sleep."

"I was patrolling. And we do sleep." Supergirl replied, the sound of a laugh just beneath the surface of her voice. "I could say the same for you, Miss Luthor."

"Luthors sleep. Despite the rumours." Lena said, successfully eliciting a chuckle from Supergirl, "I was leaving the office. Late night."

"No kidding."

After some silence Lena spoke again, "Do you really patrol at this time every night?"

There was a pause and Lena could see some thought behind the blue eyes. Her head tilted from side to side, blonde curls rolling across her broad, blue shoulders, before she spoke again.

"Only when I can't sleep."

Wondering if it was appropriate to pry, Lena pursed her lips. She wasn't willing to try. As if sensing Lena's concern, though, Supergirl added, "Kryptonians have nightmares too."

Lena laughed, more at how bizarre the phrase sounded rather than finding humour in it.

"What on Earth scares a Kryptonian?"

"It's not the boogeyman if that's what you mean." Supergirl sounded less hopeful than her usual self. Her voice had deepened and became softer than it was when she held her head high, hands proudly on her hips, "I think I'm realising what I have to lose."

_Ah._

"And you didn't before?"

"Maybe not." Lena turned to Supergirl and saw confliction in her eyes now. So human...vulnerable almost. "I used to think I had lost everything. I mean, I had. My family, my planet, everything. But then somewhere along the way I had a home again. Friends, family...I have more to lose now, in a way." She sighed in a way that betrayed the thought that she had so much more to say. As if remembering where she was and who she was with Supergirl straightened her back and continued her proud stride. Her voice reverted back to its louder, prouder tone, "It makes me want to protect this planet more. I can't lose everything again."

"For what it's worth to some extent I can relate. Moving to National City has proved to had a similar effect. Not quite same but..."

"No, thank you. Sorry for dumping that on you, Miss Luthor. You're a good listener."

"Hardly. You should talk to that friend of yours, Kara. She's a ray of sunshine, I'm sure that would fix all your problems. Someone like her...well it's worth protecting National City just for her if you ask me." Lena grinned as Supergirl turned to her, "But then I don't have many friends."

Supergirl laughed, "She speaks highly of you, Miss Luthor. I can see why."

The rest of their walk was spent speaking of National City and its wonders, from CatCo to its Prevent Homelessness Initiative that the government was currently running. Supergirl seemed less melancholy by the end, and Lena had to admit she did too.

The pair bid their goodbyes and Lena watched Supergirl launch herself into the sky. Suddenly aliens didn't seem so scary. Maybe not all of them.

\--

Lena's eyes scoured the crowd in front of her, now that the lights dimmed and the faces became more than just dark shapes. Her eyes fell to the pair she was looking for. Of course, there she was. Front and centre. Kara Danvers.

Lena smiled at her and Kara smiled back. Lena had just unveiled a clean energy initiative for her company. She'd invited Kara, offering to give her an exclusive one-on-one interview after the press release. The girl had been all excitement and gratitude at Lena's offer, and her face showed it now too.

Just as Lena went to step down, her eyes still on Kara, she noticed the pair of blue eyes grow wide. Time slowed to a stop for a single moment. It went quiet, then...

Suddenly Lena was thrown to the side, against a brick wall. Her ears were ringing and her vision went white. Gasping for breath Lena threw her head around frantically as pin pricks of vision returned to her. Everything was red now. Red and blue.

Looking up Lena saw into Supergirl's beautiful blue eyes. She barely managed to say her name, it came out as a whisper.

"Miss Luthor are you alright?"

Lena had no idea. She was aching but none the wiser of what had happened. Supergirl pressed a hand into her shoulder, steadying her mind as if it were one of her superpowers, “You’re safe, it’s okay.”

Lena then watched on in silence as Supergirl flew off to quell the fires and rescue reporters trapped under the rubble.

_Kara_.

Lena began to move to the rubble but before she could move far agents in black gear came in and dragged out anyone they could get their hands on. Lena found herself not outside, though, when the commotion stopped. Instead she ended up in a van at full speed, surrounded by big burly men with black guns.

What a day.

Twenty minutes must have passed before the van pulled to a stop. The doors were thrown open and daylight was blinding Lena once more. The men all stepped out and Lena followed suit, steadying her hands to not betray her anxiousness.

Once out of the van she spied a familiar face.

“Agent Danvers we need to stop meeting like this.”

Agent Danvers, the stern-looking woman that Kara called her sister, always looked at Lena with an air of indecision. She was never quite certain if she should take Lena’s words on face value and, with her line of work, Lena wasn’t entirely surprised.

“Miss Luthor I apologise for the abrupt kidnapping but given you were the target we needed to ensure your safety.”

“Kara was there too…d-…do you know if she’s alright? If Supergirl…”

A voice spoke from behind Lena, the familiar one that floated several feet above the ground, “Kara Danvers is safe. Not a scratch on her.”

Lena turned around to Supergirl, encapsulated in the same way she might be if she were looking at the sun.

“Thank you, Supergirl. And thank you for saving my life. Again.”

“Miss Luthor,” Agent Danvers, Alex, started once more, “the people that attacked you…”

“My brother?”

“Yes.”

Lena wondered if Supergirl could hear her heart pounding rabidly against her chest with her super-hearing. She wondered if she could smell the trickle of sweat that beaded at her neck and palms, the places where her fear showed. Could she see straight through Lena, into her guts and watch them churn and squeeze at the thought of being so close to death? Or did she not need x-ray vision to see the twitch of fear and hurt in her face at the mention of her brother?

“I almost wish I had a new assassin. His games are getting boring. Do the FBI always get so involved in petty sibling quarrels?”

Alex glanced to Supergirl, appearing to exchange a meaningful look before returning her attention back to Lena, “Typically not. Unfortunately your sibling quarrel involves more than just the pair of you. And as a Luthor…”

“He’s after your technology.” Supergirl interrupted, now close to Lena. She walked to Alex and spun to face Lena, “He wants to use it. To hurt aliens.”

“I could have told you that.” Lena snapped, perhaps sharper than she intended.

Alex continued, unaffected by her tone, “We have a vested interest in your technology too, Miss Luthor. Which is why it concerns us. We need full access to your facilities and files.”

Lena jutted her chin forwards, proud and indignant. After a pregnant pause a smile graced her lips. It was a hard, chiseled smile that had been crafted as a reaction to her family’s cruel words growing up. With the smile came dark eyes and a heavy timbre to her words. Words formed slowly at her mouth, enunciated with purpose and fire in a way that had always sent lesser beings scurrying.

“Agent Danvers, I apologise. I must be giving the wrong impression. I greatly appreciate the work you do and the sacrifices you must make in the name of saving this country. And Supergirl, of course, I am indebted to you for saving my life. But,” She paused, forcing her smile back once she realised it had faded, “I will not be handing over access to my company. If you’re truly looking to stop Lex you will not find the answers you’re looking for hiding under the paperweight in my office.”

Alex stepped forwards, too close for Lena to feel comfortable but she was not one to back down.

“Miss Luthor I’m sorry but I must be giving the wrong impression too. It was not a question. We _will_ be accessing your files, your research, your facilities for anything that we think Lex Luthor may want. We decide what paperweights we look under, not you.”

Lena pursed her lips.

Shallow breath.

Steady.

“Very well.” She said finally. “I hope you find what you’re looking for. And then maybe you’ll realise not all Luthors are out for world domination.”

With that Alex stepped back and Lena felt her shoulders relax, not realizing they had been tense before. Supergirl spoke, then Alex again. Lena nodded absent-mindedly but she could not help but feel her world begin to crash around her.

LCorp was never going to be given a chance. Lena was never going to be given a chance.

Lena looked to Supergirl and their eyes met. For a brief moment Lena was back in the streets at the heart of National City and Supergirl was recounting her nightmare.

_I can’t lose everything again_.

Supergirl’s face betrayed her thoughts, betrayed her realization that she knew what Lena was thinking and feeling. Lena broke the gaze by casting her eyes to the ground, her arms folding to stop her hands from trembling.

Luthor was a cursed name, now. And Lena could feel the fabric of hope slipping from her fingers when she realised it was a name she would never escape.


	3. Parallels

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Thanks so much for the positive feedback?! I really appreciate it so much. This is my first fanfic so I'm glad you're enjoying it. I really hope to do the story I have in my head justice and look forwards to sharing it with you :)

The afternoon rolled around and Kara was absent-mindedly sipping on a now-cool coffee. Much like alcohol coffee did little to her metabolism however the placebo effect worked miracles. Being an introspective person as she was, by virtue of either being a superhero or a Kryptonian, the events of the day played out in Kara’s head on repeat. She would pause every now and then to take stock of her actions and words, wondering if it aligned with the type of superhero, or _person_ , she wanted to be. Her thoughts turned to Lena when her stream of consciousness was interrupted by the obnoxious vibration of her cellphone.

_Lena Luthor_

Kara scrambled to reach her phone and sounded more flustered than she’d wanted to when she finally answered.

“Lena!”

“ _Kara, you’re alive_.”

“Are you okay? I wasn’t sure if I could contact you. I-…Supergirl told me you were safe.”

“ _I just got cleared not long ago. She does know how to make an entrance, that’s for sure._ ”

Kara stood and started pacing, her thoughts now stirred and her blood spreading nervous energy to every inch of her being.

“Are you sure you’re okay? Not everyone has an explosion at the end of their press conference.”

“ _I’m not everyone_.” Lena says, almost coyly. “ _I’m fine. I…perhaps though, if you wouldn’t mind..._ ” A pause. Kara held her breath, “ _Can I drop in? I’m in dire need of a friendly face and a glass of wine_.”

“Of course. Of course, Lena, absolutely.”

Lena’s voice changed, though impossible to describe. Almost as if the weight of the world had been lifted from her shoulders, “ _Thank you, Kara. I’ll see you soon_.”

Soon, as it was, was just soon enough. Kara had time to tidy her apartment and herself. She emptied the cold coffee into the sink and opened her windows to let in a cool autumn breeze. As she settled back into her seat on the couch and began perusing the channels she heard a familiar click of stilettos traipse down the hallway. She was at the door by the time Lena knocked and opened it after a measured pause, remembering that not everyone had super-hearing.

Kara felt warmth spread across her chest and face at the sight of Lena, bottle in one hand and takeout food in the other. Lena’s eyes were playful, her grin full and bearing teeth. Kara hugged her friend before relieving her of her gifts, walking her in and setting the bags on the table, “That was quick.”

“I was pretty much around the corner.” Lena said, busying herself with the takeout as she pulled it from its bag and laid it across the bench top, “I just picked up the wine and this so you’re less likely to care about my abrupt intrusion.”

Kara laughed, shaking her head. Her cheeks pulled at her lips, her smile matching Lena’s now; wide and toothy.

“Don’t be silly. You’re always welcome, Lena. But the food was a good idea, I’m starving.”

Kara emptied half of the containers into her bowl as Lena poured the wine. Then Kara moved back to her couch, curling back into her spot, patting the spot beside her as Lena made her way cautiously through the apartment.

“It’s a beautiful apartment, Kara.” Lena said after a mouthful of food.

“Used to be Alex’s.” Kara replied, less graceful with substantially more food in her mouth.

Lena smiled, gazing affectionately at Kara as she apologetically shook her head, finally remembering to swallow her food.

“Alex is a strong woman. I spoke to her today. She reminded me of you, actually.”

Kara raised her eyebrows, knitting them together. She spoke with a laugh, seemingly baffled at the preposition, “You’re talking about _my_ sister, right? No-one’s called me and Alex similar before.”

Lena prodded her food then took another sip of wine, contemplating her response.

“You share the same look of determination when you want something, I guess. She’s quite serious.”

Kara felt her cheeks redden and she laughed again, softly. Her hands brought the bowl of food to her chest as if it were her notebook and she squeezed softly, making a conscious effort to not shatter it.

“She is. She’s pretty protective of me. Always has been. Ever since I was adopted she’s worried about me all the time. But she’s not always so serious. I mean when we’re alone she’s actually a huge nerd and-…” Kara realised she was rambling when Lena turned to face her. She felt her face grow warmer once more and by now she was convinced she had no blood left anywhere else in her body, “I’m pretty lucky. Alex cares a lot.”

Lena nodded, her eyes not leaving Kara’s.

“You seem to have that affect on people.”

Kara listened in silence as Lena’s heartbeat picked up. She heard the depth of her breathing and watched the confusion and concern in Lena’s face as the words left her mouth. She wondered if Lena realised their poses were now mirrored, knees tucked underneath themselves and bowls settled into their lap.

“You okay, Lena?”

Lena nodded hastily, her eyes returning to the food in her hands before reaching for her glass of wine.

“Just a long day. My brother sends another assassin to kill me and now my company is being turned inside out for any clue as to what he wants.”

Kara listened as Lena spoke. After each glass of wine the words spilled more freely from her and she spoke of growing up, her relationship with Lex and when things had gone sour. The stories she told of Lex sounded so familiar, the worry, the deceit stemming from over-protectiveness. Lex could have easily been Alex. So easily.

Lena then spoke of LCorp, her hopes for it and what sort of name she wanted for it in years to come. Here Kara saw a young, softer Cat Grant. Vaulting ambition. A certain drive that mimicked courage; the ability to be headstrong in the face of uncertainty.

Finally Lena’s words turn to the subject she had delicately tiptoed around throughout their night: aliens. Her words were slurred and confused at this point. She spoke of how she had blamed aliens for Lex’s descent into madness. She had blamed them for her parents’ failed attempts at affection. Now, though, she was uncertain. Supergirl existed, after all, and if such good could come from one planet, why not from the others?

Kara had slowly begun to see the sense in Lena’s world; why should Lena trust aliens when so many of them had the strength of ten men and used it to hurt others? How was Lena to see the reality of the universe when humanity had barely grazed the moon? Earth was a sanctuary for refugees. Compared to many words it was a haven, with all its flaws.

For some even the prospect of violence on Earth was more welcoming than the arms that would greet them on another planet. Some aliens were trying to make a new name for themselves, just as Lena was. One day Kara would show her that. But not today.

At some point Lena had crawled into Kara’s strong arms, somewhere around when she had begun to talk of her greatest fear, inadequacy, while talking about LCorp and what she wished for in its future. Kara had squeezed gently every now and then, reassuring Lena that this was welcome.

The room went quiet as Lena finished her spiel. The city had gotten dark and the autumn breeze had now become a chill. The moment was a kind one, Kara feeling Lena sink into the hold as if she couldn’t let it end yet. Finally, just as Kara felt Lena’s heartbeat pick up, Lena sat up and glanced at her watch, starting to speak and excuse herself.

“Lena stay here tonight.” Kara said softly.

“Oh, no, don’t be silly. I’ve already taken up so much of your time.”

Kara tugged on Lena’s hand and intertwined their fingers. She had Lena’s attention as she spoke.

“Stay here tonight. It’s late and you’re drunk.” Kara pressed her finger against Lena’s lips as she opened her mouth to protest the accusation, “Shh, you’re drunk. Look you don’t have anywhere to be tomorrow, it’s a Saturday. Stay the night and we can fight the hangover together.”

Lena said nothing and just looked into Kara’s eyes much the same was as she always did. Deep. Warm. Wonder.

After a moment she just nodded, no longer resisting Kara’s suggestion. From there Kara helped her up and walked her to the bedroom.

Kara threw Lena some pyjamas and then excused herself to shower and change. By the time she had returned Lena had maneuvered her way into her pyjamas and under the covers. Kara could not help but smile at her, so vulnerable as she was.

“Good night.” Kara whispered, too quiet to be heard.

As Kara climbed in beside Lena she felt an arm snake around her side and pull her closer.

“Sorry for being a drunk mess.” Lena murmured.

“I’ve seen worse.” Kara replied playfully.

That was enough for Lena’s eyebrows to relax, to stop fretting. Then the room went silent once more. Kara fell asleep to the sound of Lena’s steady breathing. That night she dreamt of Lena. No flames, no melting family. No waking in the night. That was enough.

\--

The sounds of National City’s early morning road rage and singing birds occupied Kara’s mind as she made coffee. From her apartment Kara could hear a man yelling out of his car window several blocks away. She listened to a songbird call to its flock. Steady breathing, slow heart beats could be heard from her own bedroom, her guest still sleeping off the drunken night before.

Kara carefully carried the coffee through to the woman who now lay sprawled across her bed and gently prodded her awake. Lena seemed to take a moment to orientate herself, sitting up, and then turned red as her eyes widened, acclimatizing to her current situation.

“Good morning.” Kara spoke softly, sweetly.

“Kara…I’m so sorry about all my ranting last night I-…”

Kara offered the cup of coffee to Lena. Lena paused mid-sentence and glanced down at it. It was black and aromatic.

“You deserved a night off, Lena. I’m glad I got to spend the night with you.”

Lena took the coffee and smiled, looking somewhat raw and rough without makeup, but all the more beautiful.

“Thank you. There’s no-one else I would have trusted.”

Kara watched as Lena took a sip from the cup, not particularly noticing Lena’s subtle shifting towards her. They sat in silence as Lena surfaced from her aching body and Kara found herself tracing Lena’s outlines with her eyes. Slender arms, dexterous fingers. Beautiful black sheets of hair that sat so nicely on her shoulders. Long legs that folded on themselves. Every inch seemed to set doubt within Kara. Such powerful hearts rested in such fragile bodies.

Kara was disrupted from her daze when a knock sounded on her door. She turned to the door, hidden by her bedroom walls, and went to pull her glasses off to see who it was but her hand steadied as she touched the lead frames. Lena might think it odd…

Kara stood and went to the door, another knock resounding through as she reached it followed by a muffled, familiar voice, “Get out of bed Kara you lazy ass.”

Kara’s face lifted and she swung the door open to her sister. Her sister stood proud and happy, as if she had a secret to tell and Kara was about to be the first one to find out.

“You know just because you save the wor-…” Alex curved her words, looking at Kara’s glasses and tied up hair. Her head turned, her eyes scanning the room for visitors. The words that followed were quiet, “…is someone here?”

Kara smiled and nodded, “Yeah. Lena stayed the night. She was pretty upset after yesterday so she came over and had a bit too much to drink.” Alex’s face betrayed her surprise.

“You don’t think that’s a little convenient?”

“What do you mean? Don’t be ridiculous.” Kara said, incredulous.

Alex went to speak again then glanced behind Kara once more and tipped her head. Kara turned and saw Lena now leaning against her bedroom door, coffee in hand, watching the pair converse. “Lena you were saying you saw Alex yesterday righ-…”

“Yes.” Alex and Lena spoke in unison, both a little too quickly and a little too harshly to be misinterpreted as friendly.

Lena straightened up and her eyes seemed to be sizing up Alex. Kara turned back to Alex and saw a foreign look on her face. Chin thrust forwards, the corners of her mouth pulled tightly to the side and her eyebrows digging into her vision, a measured scowl. They had not been this bitter towards each other the day before. Distrust and suspicion had stewed in the pair overnight and now Kara was left in the middle.

Kara felt helpless in these moments. All the strength and speed in the world, hope emblazoned into her very being. Yet before her sister she stood powerless to defend her friend.

Lena smiled, the same smile she had given to Alex the day before, prior to asserting her futile demand that LCorp would be left alone.

“I must be leaving, Kara. I remembered I have some things to finish up at the office…”

“No, Lena please-…”

“Finalising your plans to destroy National City?” Alex interrupted, her tone inferring a joke but her sneer indicating otherwise.

Kara looked to her, horrified.

“Alex!”

It wasn’t enough. Kara didn’t know what else to say, where to start. Lena just smiled and disappeared into Kara’s bedroom once more, excusing herself to get changed. Kara went to speak to Alex but Alex just shook her head, making a point that she did not even trust that Lena wasn’t eavesdropping at that moment.

Lena was done in moments. She bid Kara a cold farewell and merely nodded to Alex. Kara felt her heart sink and she watched Lena go. After seeing Lena as she had the night before it was even harder to see the cruel woman others expected her to be.

Lena Luthor had the blueprints of a Luthor. Scientific genius, dedication and hardwork. She had a mistrust of aliens, a tentative awe of their technology. She was placed into power, not necessarily one she earned but she was trying her best to do good with it. She was changing the Luthor name into something it never was.

How could Alex not see that? How could Alex not see her own alien sister in this woman?

Kara had the brains, the passion of her parents. She had Krypton’s snobbish sense of superiority at times and, Rao, did Alex know that. She had the house of El’s crest burned into her image and she was turning it from a symbol of superior knowledge and militaristic rule into a symbol for hope and freedom. She was turning it into a human symbol, not a Kryptonian one.

“What were you thinking?” Alex said, sending ripples through Kara’s thoughts.

“Alex she’s _scared_.”

“We don’t know what she’s hiding, Kara. I don’t want her to use you as a way to get to me or as a way to get to _Supergirl_.”

Kara shook her head, her fists turning white as she clenched them into knuckles.

“I believe in giving people a chance Alex. She has done nothing but help us. God forbid she doesn’t trust a secret government agency with full access to a company she’s trying to rebuild from the ground.”

Alex grabbed Kara’s arm and gripped it tightly, as if she was trying to make a point.

“She’s dangerous Kara.”

Kara pulled her arm from Alex’s grip and stepped back, “Why are you here, Alex?”

Alex paused, looking into Kara’s eyes, searching for a hint to an answer she wouldn’t find. Eventually she gave up and moved through the apartment, settling on the couch as a way to prevent herself from being kicked out, “I just…I wanted to tell you about my night…”

Kara softened. Alex had a habit of infuriating Kara to no end only to reel her back in with a cautioned request for love and support. _That’s what sisters are for_ , Alex had told Kara over a decade ago after Kara had confronted her for it.

On Krypton disputes were settled with long arguments, corroboration and evidence. Sisters needed no such thing, according to Alex.

_I mean we always have to love each other. We’re sisters. But, like, we’re meant to fight. And we’re meant to say that we hate each other. But then we watch a movie together and it’s fine because we’re sisters. It’s not real hate. It’s just a sister hate._

_Blood bonds us all._ Kara had repeated.

_You’re weird._ Alex had said back. Followed by a laugh and a hug.

“With Maggie?”

Alex nodded, looking up cautiously, wondering if she’d been forgiven yet. When Kara broke into a smile Alex allowed herself a smile as well. And at that Kara was okay. Alex was human, after all. She did not have bulletproof skin. She could not lift cars above her head. She was doing all she could to protect Kara, and it wasn’t perfect but it was enough.

“Tell me about it.”

 


	4. Worry

Lena found herself back at LCorp. She didn’t remember the journey there, but it was on foot she knew that much. Her swell of emotion proved too much to handle and she travelled back to the closest thing she knew as a sanctuary. Using her swipe card she travelled through the building and up to the top floor, her office, before looking around at her desk, her view, her thousand dollar chair and realizing this is not where she wanted to be.

Lena’s hangover hit her then, just then, and not a moment sooner. She had not felt it, truly, in Kara’s apartment. She had not felt it as the sweet girl handed her a coffee. When Alex’s scathing remarks were shot at her it bounced off, as she was used to far worse from far more ruthless people.

No, Lena’s hangover hit her then, her body crumbling and her head pounding.

_Fuck today_.

Lena was still standing at her door, looking at her office, when she let out a noise of frustration, of fury, of despair and desperation.

Lena moved through her office and to the bookcase against the wall. The pulled at a book, _The Secrets of the Universe_ , and the bookcase disappeared in front of her, rolling to the side and revealing a hidden elevator. Cliché as it was, the hidden bookcase worked wonders. Lena had not been concerned about its discovery, at least until Alex Danvers announced that the FBI would be doing a thorough search of all of LCorp’s facilities and assets.

Still, perhaps there was some peace here. Lena had forbidden the installation of surveillance cameras into her office when they had been refitting it. Who was going to pull out every single one of her books before they found one that acted as a lever to a secret compartment? Even if they did she doubted its existence and what lay behind it would honestly change how the world saw her anyway. If anything it would confirm it all. They would never trust the Luthors.

Lena placed her hand on the sensor and it read her scan. She spoke her name and finally it granted her access. From there she travelled down, deep into the depths of the ground, to a facility that she had a tendency to visit on days like today. Days where she felt so alone and distant from all that she knew, from brother to mother to friendship and whatever the hell ‘home’ meant.

The doors opened and red hit her. Lena walked forwards into the laboratory and her eyes were cast up to the lights above. She took in a deep breath, bracing herself as she always did before she passed that final barrier that lay ahead.

The security guard that stood at attention seemed unsurprised at Lena’s presence, gave a polite nod, and opened the door for her. Lena strode forwards, emulating confidence and power and all things that made the Luthor name great. All things that she felt she never really had.

Lena passed the threshold and there…

Deep breath.

There…

_Worldkillers._

Not the most eloquent name, but it was a Lex initiative.

In front of her were four great glass cylinders filled with red liquid and disfigured bodies, each more bizarre than the one before. In the first was a woman who did not look unlike a human, but her skin was grey and her hair burgundy coloured. The second held a massive beast that resembled a sabre-tooth tiger, if Lena had to hazard a description. The third was a anthropomorphic dinosaur or lizard of sorts, green with stingers for hands and feathers for hair. In the final cylinder was an insect, pale with an exoskeletal helmet and armour.

These bizarre creatures had been found deep in the depths of Lex’s laboratory. Lena had read his notes, extensive as they were. These creatures had phenomenal power. Their stasis was maintained only by injecting their veins with a synthetic composite of Kryptonian blood, a construct devised by Lex without much explanation for how he had obtained it. The red lights that emulated Krypton’s sun, Rao, which apparently weakened them, allowing their blood to accept the poison.

_Worldkillers._

They were ugly creatures and, according to Lex’s notes, vicious and all-powerful. He had been studying them to find a way to weaken Superman. He had been studying them to find a way to kill all aliens. After all, their specialty was in their title. Lex was not one to throw away an opportunity based on ideology. So what the technology he used wasn’t human? Whoever used it best, won. And he was determined to use it best.

Lena’s back straightened and she took a deep breath, forcing herself to face her demons. She came here mostly to remind herself of what LCorp stood for. She used these monsters as a reminder of lines she would not cross.

_Worldkillers._ She repeated in her head.

Their title reminded her of what aliens were capable of. They reminded her that humans were at the mercy of the universe, and she did not want it to be that way forever. But their existence reminded her to stay human, and to stay compassionate. She would not stoop to the level of those that created these beasts. She would not stoop to Lex’s level, and she would not study them to create weapons of mass destruction.

Self-defence. Self-preservation. Not assault on alienkind.

Lena was reminded of the first time she read through Lex’s notes. Fear had gripped her. In her palms was unprecedented power. Lex was close to unlocking their secrets, their potential, their ability to be weaponised to destroy the Man of Steel.

What was she to do with that power? Hand it to Lillian Luthor, to continue the Luthor legacy? Report it to the FBI, CIA or some nameless government organisation, as final proof that Luthors were all-evil, and that LCorp was never to be trusted again?

No, instead Lena had moved them to National City. The only other city with a Super, someone powerful enough to stop them should they escape. Killing them was impossible, according to Lex. So here they sat, in the bottom of National City, destined to marinate in a synthetic compound of Kryptonian blood for the rest of eternity.

Lena’s memory of the Lex she had known growing up was now tainted by doubt, his every word of comfort second-guessed. Her earliest clear memory of Lex was a month after she had arrived in the Luthor family. The shine of a new daughter was beginning to wear off for the Luthor parents, especially when Lena struggled to keep up with Lex’s academic prowess. The Luthor household prided itself on its legacy, and that was enforced onto Lena from the first day she had crossed the threshold into the mansion that stood on the fringes of Metropolis.

Lex had walked in on Lena crying one day. As a child he was slow to warm to people, as most eccentric people were, and any interaction the pair had in the first couple of years tended to be awkward and forced. That day was no different, honestly. He had asked her why she was crying in a clinical way, probing more for information than he was caring for her.

_I don’t want to be sent away_. _I don’t think I’m smart enough._

Lex grew angry at the very suggestion. Lena had always viewed it as sweet, the fact he was so defensive, but since his descent into madness she wondered if she should have noticed the signs.

_They won’t send you away! I wouldn’t let them. Lena you’re a Luthor now. You’ll always be a Luthor._ He sat by her and grabbed her shoulders, shaking her as if willing the tears to stop. _We’re going to save the world one day. Until then I’ll look after you. I’ll protect you._

Lena had known exactly what Lex was after when he sent his goons. She knew he wanted his hands on these creatures again, knew he at least wanted to get them to his mother… _our mother_.

But no. _God no_. Lena would not let that happen. LCorp would be a beacon of humanity. LCorp would be…

LCorp would be…

Hope.

Hope for a brave new world.

One where Supergirl could fly around and save the day. But also one where humans had the technology to prevent their own world from dying. One where humans could stop these sorts of creatures from killing Earth as they had killed (according to Lex's notes, at least) Krypton.

\--

Sunday morning Lena woke up and it felt so incredibly stale compared to the morning before. She rolled over and curled up into a ball, taking just a moment longer before she could bring herself to leave the bed.

It didn’t last long.

Lena’s phone began to ring and she grabbed for it, instinctively answering it without checking.

“Lena speaking.”

“ _Lena…_ ”

That soft, docile voice. Lena’s heart shattered at the sound of it.

_“Sorry, I didn’t wake you did I?_ ”

“No. No, it’s fine. What’s wrong?”

“ _I just…I wanted to phone you last night but it was pretty late. Alex didn’t leave until nine and I-…anyway look I’m…I’m sorry about yesterday. Alex was in a pretty shitty mood and I didn’t say anything and I-…_ ”

“It’s fine, Kara. I’ve handled worse.”

Lena heard herself sound short, annoyed. Kara didn’t deserve that but Lena was having a hard time compartmentalizing her life as much as she’d like. Around Kara, especially, she found edges blurring and lines being crossed.

“ _It’s not fine. Alex was being petulant and you didn’t deserve that_. _You’re so much better than people see…_ ”

“You sound like Supergirl.” Lena said with a laugh.

When Kara didn’t laugh in response Lena spoke again, her drowsiness sounding out in her slurring.

“Whatever is said about me is probably deserved of the Luthor name. I can bear the cross. I’m the one who decided to carry it, after all.”

Kara sighed on the other end.

Silence.

“ _You don’t deserve it_.”

“No rest for the wicked.”

“ _Can I…can I see you? I don’t want your memory of our friendship to be me failing miserably at sticking up for you when my sister says something mean to you_.”

Lena laughed at that. Kara set her at ease and she hated the comfort that came with it. It was so relaxing it was anxiety-inducing.

“I have quite a full day…” Kara’s silence, lack of reaction, was painful. She could almost imagine the girl’s face screwing up, fingers nervously picking at the edges of her shirt. Kara could be fierce, Lena had seen that. The same girl could also let her own mind eat up at her confidence and assertiveness.

“I can make time, though.”

“ _Really?_ ”

Lena felt the air disappear from her lungs. God, what Kara did to her. How could Kara be surprised? She was certain Supergirl herself would clear her schedule if Kara called up in the middle of the day with that sad, dejected tone in her voice. How could you not?

“Sure. Of course. How about dinner? We can go to a restaurant on 25th, it’s just opening up-“

“ _That sounds great_.” Kara said prematurely, interrupting the rest of Lena’s sentence with buzzing excitement. That was fine. That voice made it fine.

“I’ll see you at six, then.”

“ _Perfect._ ”

“I’m looking forwards to it.” Lena said, perhaps with a touch too much earnestness.

“ _Me too. See you then, Lena_.”

_Can’t wait_  Lena thought to herself as the dial tone sounded. Maybe today wouldn’t be so bad. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is where comic!Canon starts to come in. Here's a picture of the worldkillers for those who are visual people http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/supermanrebirth/images/8/87/Worldkillers.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20120324150351


	5. Down Side of Me

“ _Kara…get to LCorp. Now._ ”

Kara had not heard Alex so angry since, well…well Alex got angry quite often but her voice was trembling and her words dripping with poison as she spoke. Kara was wary of this Alex. This Alex could kill.

Kara did not have time to respond before the dial tone sounded and so she got changed and began her flight to LCorp.

As Kara landed she glanced to the sun. It was just hitting midday, so she planned on still making dinner with Lena that night. Given the involvement with LCorp, though, she had a feeling in her gut that this may interrupt her dinner plans.

Kara was silent as she was guided through the building by DEO agents. Even as they reached Lena’s office Alex was nowhere to be found. J’onn was waiting, though, and he looked unwell.

“What’s going on Director?”

“Follow me.”

J’onn made his way to Lena’s bookcase and went to pull from it an innocuous book on the universe. As he did the bookcase slid to the side and revealed the entrance to an elevator.

The terminal to the elevator was jammed or broken, however its interior still worked and it appeared to function quite safely. Kara entered with J’onn and made no comment as they descended back down into the depths of LCorp.

Surely this was just some more technology used to detect aliens, Lena made it no secret that she distrusted them. But she was no Lex. Kara was keen to err on the side of caution. Innocent until proven guilty, after all. It was a human view not shared by the Kryptonians, but Kara found herself wedged between the two cultures, attempting to take the best of both worlds.

As the doors opened once more she was hit with a wave of red light. With it she felt the air escape from her lungs. Her body grew weaker. It felt akin to Kryptonite, without the burning pain and foggy mind.

Kara walked forwards, following J’onn, not willing to share outloud her newfound weakness just yet.

Alex was waiting in front of a door, speaking into her radio. DEO agents lined the walls, it all looked quite ominous against the red light. At the sight of Supergirl Alex ended her transmission and her face contorted from serious to pain to neutrality.

“Supergirl…”

Kara placed her hands on her hips to summon some courage, the softness in Alex’s voice throwing her into caution.

“What are we doing here Alex?”

Alex looked at J’onn, wordless.

“Alright, everybody in here clear out.” J’onn commanded. “Grey, Robbins you can join the detail in the next room for security.”

The soldiers shuffled around them wordlessly, packing themselves into the elevator. As the two agents moved into the next room Kara tried to catch a glimpse but once again all she could see is red. She wasn’t sure if it the rooms were lined with lead or if her powers were really zapped from her but she could not see into the next room at all.

Once the room was empty Alex went to Kara and took her hands, “Before we go into the next room I…Kara you need to be Supergirl in there. You can’t be Kara.”

As Kara’s face changed into one of confusion Alex looked as if she was going to offer more explanation. She opened her mouth again, trying, but couldn’t quite find the words.

J’onn spoke instead, his voice strong and steady.

“Supergirl is a beacon of hope, Kara. Remember that. Kara Zor-El is a woman who has suffered a lot of hurt. She’s a woman who missteps and makes mistakes and allows her emotions to get the better of her. Supergirl cannot do that.”

Kara could not contain her laugh, incredulous at their seriousness when this sounded an awful lot like Lena Luthor had constructed some weapon on a Deathstar scale. No, no. She would wait and see, and let them know they were overreacting.

“Guys, I can handle this.”

Alex and J’onn shared a look. Alex then opened the door behind her and walked in, Kara following. Once they were in there Kara’s eyes were drawn to four beasts in front of her, contained in large glass silos.

Something about them ate away at Kara’s stomach. They seemed familiar, as if she was looking upon the faces of long lost Gods. Perhaps it was just the feeling of being back home, under Rao’s red light, that elicited that reaction.

Supergirl turned her attention to the others in the room. Four DEO agents, Alex, J’onn…Lena.

Lena was watching Supergirl with a certain fixation that it was difficult to tell whether it was fear or anger. Her breathing was measured. Kara tried to listen for her heartbeat but her senses were dulled quite a bit now.

“Lena.”

Alex interrupted the moment, walking towards a terminal to the side, “Supergirl we found this. It’s Kryptonian.”

Kara’s attention was drawn away from Lena as the computer turned to life. Beside it was a red crystal, glowing and seemingly feeding the computer itself its knowledge. After a few quick keystrokes a hologram appeared, a strong blue figure with the iconic symbol of the House of El on their chest. Kara’s eyes were fixed on that sigil for moments too long, terrified of what she would see if she looked up at their face.

< _Kara Zor-El, my daughter, you have been identified by my programming. Welcome._ >

Kara’s eyes were torn from the sigil and up into the hologram’s eyes. She felt her insides clench in on themselves at the sound of Kryptonian. Proper Kryptonian, not the slanderous sounds that came from her cousin’s mouth, or the stilted words that had come from Eliza or Alex after years of tutoring.

Zor-El, her father, stood proudly in front of her. Fake and blue, but still there.

<Father? What are you doing here?>

< _This is my database on the Worldkillers_. _The bedtime stories were never just legends, my daughter. I have kept them safe, here in my laboratory_. >

<Krypton is dead, Father. You are not in your laboratory.>

< _Krypton is dead. Argo City is alive. Here in my laborator-_ >

Kara cut him off, <Argo City is not _alive_. >

< _Argo City is alive. I work with Alura Zor-El, my wife, to preserve-_ >

Kara felt her face burn. It was fortunate she didn’t have her powers. She would have burned the whole place down. Turning to Alex, not realizing she was still speaking Kryptonian, she growled <Turn it off. It’s broken.>

Alex, having the most basic, rudimentary understanding of Kryptonian, went to Kara’s side and asked, “D-did it…did they say Argo City was still alive?”

Kara’s anger must have been evident on her face. She was not attempting to hide it, after all, but Alex looked scared. She switched back to English, speaking loud enough for the rest to hear, “It is _broken_. Damaged, outdated technology.”

Kara tried to block out the hologram’s voice as it continued, she caught fragments and phrases. Ones she did not want to hear.

< _Krypton’s destruction…developed a plan to save…built a shield to protect…Argo City now orbits…_ >

Kara had been wrong. She was not Supergirl here. She stood here powerless before the face of her father being told her home was still alive. How could she be Supergirl?

Kara strode up to Lena, muscles burning and her throat dry. She looked into the eyes of the woman before her and felt none of the joy and affection she usually felt. Instead her body was cold and if her thoughts strayed for too long she knew for certain tears would spring to her eyes, “How long have you had this?”

“It was Lex’s.” Lena said steadily. If she was afraid she was doing a good job of hiding it now, “He deciphered some of the words it said. Enough to know they were called Worldkillers, or so he wrote down in his many notes.” She spoke with measured pauses, her confidence not wavering yet, “When I-…”

Kara cut Lena off with a fist balling up around her collar, “Do you often play with the Gods, Miss Luthor? Do you like to tempt fate?”

Lena blanched. Her breath was stuck now, as were her words. It appeared that the contact was enough to bring her fear to the surface.

“What do you know of Argo City?”

“Argo City?” Lena said, fear now shaking the words she spoke, “L-Lex’s notes mentioned it. It’s where he found these creatures. No matter how hard I searched I could not find a place by that name.”

Kara felt her eyes burning. They burned as if heat was radiating from them, as if she was destructing everything in her path. It took a moment to register that the burning was not from heat at all, but from tears that now streamed down her face relentlessly. She opened her mouth to speak again but her voice caught, breaking. Kara forced the words, the sound coming out through cracks and sobs, “He’s a _liar_.”

Kara searched Lena’s eyes for something. Anything. She waited for Lena to bite back, to challenge her, to apologise, to find reasons or excuses. She waited for answers or questions or a solution to stop her heart from breaking like this. When Kara realised Lena was not the one to be looking for answers from she let go and turned to Alex, tears still flowing so freely down her face.

Alex had no words either. No words of comfort, no voice of reason. Kara glanced to J’onn too, but his face was as unreadable as ever. He felt for her, she knew that much. Out of all the people Kara had met J’onn understood the best what it felt like to be the last of a kind.

Kara left, not trusting herself to stand there any longer in the face of Worldkillers and her father. She had failed Alex, failed J’onn, failed herself. She had been Kara Zor-El in that room not Supergirl. Alien and flawed. Her anger had been brought forwards as if the room itself was Red Kryptonite. That was not something she had been prepared to fight.

\--

4.03pm. Kara was sitting on the top of the CatCo building, the highest point of National City. She had lost track of how long she had been there but by now the tears had stopped, her hands were no longer trembling and the world was no longer crumbling around her.

No-one had attempted to contact her bar a single text from Alex.

_Home if you need me, Kara. I love you._

It had been appropriately affectionate but distant. Kara needed distance now. Typically Kara would have been curled up at Alex’s side for hours, talking through all of her feelings and thoughts. But something of this gravity, of this nature and…Kara was lost.

Looking up at the yellow sun Kara realised she had not missed home this much since her arrival, when the dreams had first haunted her and the sounds of screams followed her throughout the day.

Kara’s thoughts turned to Lena. She thought about how she had treated her. How awful it must have felt. How scary it must be for someone to be able to tear you limb from limb on a whim, and for there to be no-one powerful enough to stop them.

_Worldkillers_.

That must be what Kara looked like to humans. Kryptonians were superstitiously afraid of them, but they had, until several hours ago, just been a myth in Kara’s mind. Nothing more than a fearful nighttime story.

Kara slowly pulled her mind back into herself. She pulled out her phone and replied to Alex.

_Where’s Lena?_

After a few minutes her phone vibrated again.

_She left DEO an hour ago, might be home. No access to the LCorp building for her/employees until further notice_.

_Thanks Alex. I’ll stop by later tonight_.

Kara slowly rose, first to her feet then taking to the air. She felt blood rush to her head, but she wasn’t certain if it’s due to the sudden movement or because a swell of emotion washed over her once again.

Kara flew towards Lena’s apartment slowly, preparing herself for what was to come. She felt heavy, as though Argo City itself was resting on her shoulders. As she drew closer she looked through the building and could see Lena nursing a glass of liquid and her phone. She was seated on her couch, curled up much like she had been on Kara’s just the other day.

Kara slowed even more as she approached the balcony. As she began her descent she noticed Lena looking up, the blue and red catching her eye. When Kara’s feet touched the balcony Lena was already at the glass door, pulling it open. There they stood in silence for a few beats, neither particularly sure what to say.

“Miss Luthor if you wouldn’t mind…I’d like to have a word.”

“I’m about all talked out. The…DEO was it? I’m sure by now they have more information than me and believe me I already got the third degree from Agent Danvers about not telling you all about the monsters I kept in my basement.”

Lena looked tired. She was not scared at that moment, or at least she was hiding it again, but her words betrayed a certain desperation. _Leave me alone_.

Supergirl almost put her hands on her hips but stopped herself. No, Kara did not have a right to be proud at that moment. Instead she drew her hands in, folding them and slouching her shoulders, “I’m not interested in getting information from you. I…I would like to give you some information instead.”

Lena looked Supergirl up and down once before her eyes settled on her face. Surely she must have seen Kara in that moment. There was nothing Supergirl about how she felt facing Lena in that moment.

Lena said nothing but stepped back inside, holding the door open still. Supergirl followed, her red cape billowing in the wind behind her.

Once inside Lena shut the door then returned to her glass of whiskey and her abandoned phone, “No offence, Supergirl, but will this take long? I…I think I have somewhere to be tonight.”

Kara glanced to Lena’s phone and saw a half-written text. Looking up to Lena’s face she saw some nervousness that seemed to have nothing to do with Supergirl at all.

“No, I won’t be keeping you.”

Lena gave a nod, eyes still on her phone, then finished the rest of her alcohol. She glanced back up to Supergirl briefly and began typing away again.

“I won’t be long.”

In the five minutes it took for Lena to write and rewrite the text Kara figured out the text was for her. She wondered what Lena was trying to say, what she was struggling to say. Hell, Kara wondered if she even deserved to be Lena’s friend after today. Or even, maybe, if she wanted to be friends with someone who knew about the Worldkillers and did nothing about it.

Lena spoke suddenly, interrupting Kara’s mulling thoughts.

“Do you speak to Kara Danvers often? Are you two…are you close friends or just acquaintances?”

Kara felt as though she barely knew Kara Danvers at that moment. She was a person so different to Kara Zor-El. What was the word? Naïve…

“We talk. We’re close.”

“Mm.” Lena responded. “You know what she’s like. Ray of sunshine…I’ll be frank, Supergirl, I don’t know how I’ll be able to look her in the eye.”

“What’s changed?”

Lena looked up to Supergirl and pursed her lips. She held the silence for a moment. Finally, “I thought I was different from Lex. I thought I was different from him and my mother and…maybe I’m not.”

Kara gave a nod, more to herself than to Lena, and crossed her arms once more. She began to formulate her words, wondering where to start. What to say first.

“I grew up in Argo City, on Krypton. When I was a child my father would tell me bedtime stories. Worldkillers were known as mythological weapons of mass destruction. My father told me of warring gods who would send beasts down to Krypton to teach us lessons. Worldkillers were an invention of the gods. When they had killed all the evil Kryptonians that did not heed the word of the gods, the gods were appeased and the Worldkillers returned to the dust they had been created from.

“I didn’t realise until today that I must be your Worldkiller. I remember hearing all of these fantastical powers these Worldkillers had. Super strength, flight, invincibility. The strength of the gods. And wrath of them too.

“Today in that room...that hologram, the man. That was my father. And he spoke to me about the Worldkillers. He said Argo City was still alive. I didn’t want to believe it. It hurt too much to believe. My father said he was safe, with my mother, in Argo City. And you said Lex had…had been there. Retrieved these creatures. I was not sure what to make of it. I’m still not sure what to make of it.

“But…I was angry. I need you to understand that in that room I was not Supergirl. I was…I was the same girl that was flung into space in a pod thirty years ago as I watched my world die. I was the girl who can’t sleep at night because I have nightmares about losing everything all over again.

“It doesn’t excuse the fear I made you feel, but I hope…I hope maybe you see that I…” Kara found herself lost for words, and Lena’s blank face wasn’t helping, “I’m closer to human than I am to the gods. When I heard about Argo City…I…I couldn’t be a hero. Not in that moment.”

Lena let the words hang in the air, her mind working behind those beautiful green eyes of hers. After several minutes Lena spoke softly, almost a whisper.

“You know…that’s what Lex was raving on about all the time. Fallen gods. How we were at your mercy. How…how your loss of temper could easily mean a loss of life.” She poured herself another drink from the bottle of whiskey beside her glass. Her hands were as steady as ever. “I had always had this voice in the back of my head telling me he was right. And then…that night you walked me home. You told me you had nightmares. Suddenly you were not this all-powerful, all-benevolent superhero. You were, for lack of a better word, human.” She took a sip and watched Kara as she did, “That made it easier.

“Suddenly your motivations were tangible. You weren’t saving people on a whim. You were saving people because you cared for them. Because you saw the good in humanity, even where it maybe didn’t exist.

“That anger today terrified me. I do not go through life without my fair share of threats but god, that terrified me.

“But I knew that your anger was justified. I could see that your world had been broken into pieces by whatever it was that hologram had said to you. Despite your anger, though, I trusted you. Before that talk I wouldn’t have. But I knew,” she paused, thinking, searching for the words, “I knew you were hurting the same way I was hurting when I had my life ripped apart. The anger is overwhelming. It blinds you. But I wasn’t afraid, I knew you wouldn’t hurt me because, at the end of the day, you’re not human. You’re Supergirl. You’re loving, and kind and optimistic. Angry, yes. But I think kindness is your baseline. Your care for National City and for the people you love? That’s why you’re a hero.”

“You looked pretty convinced I’d hurt you when I grabbed you.” Supergirl said, more sheepish than anything.

Lena laughed, her eyes looking to Supergirl as she did, “Ok, maybe for that brief second I doubted myself. But you proved me right.”

“You’re not like Lex.” Supergirl said after another pause in the conversation, “I don’t agree with keeping the Worldkillers hidden but it’s obvious you were not using them or experimenting on them, and you weren’t going to let them be released anytime soon. Just because you’re not blindly pro-alien doesn’t mean you’re Lex Luthor.”

Lena looked down, her cheeks turning red as she did.

“Thank you, Supergirl.”

Kara watched as Lena fiddled with the glass in her hands. Her fingers traced its edge, hypnotically circling its circumference as if she was finding a frequency that could sing her a song to make it all alright.

Kara stood up and went to leave. As she reached the sliding door Lena’s voice sounded, barely a whisper.

“Before you go, Supergirl…”

Kara turned to Lena and their eyes met. Fear was in her face again.

“I’m sorry about your loss. Or what it was that you found out today. If I had of known what it meant to you maybe I,” her fingertips went white as she pressed them into her glass, she swallowed to rid herself of her nerves, “I think maybe I would have found some way to tell you. I know what it’s like to feel the earth shift under your feet. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.”

Kara felt the anger melt off her shoulders. The pain and fear still lingered but _Rao_ she couldn’t be mad. Not at Lena. Lena who always let herself be vulnerable to Kara. And to Supergirl. Lena, who stumbled along her path pretending to be more ruthless than she was. She had built walls around herself but Kara had broken them down. Kara could see that Lena. Human. Tired. She’d been through enough.

“Thank you, Lena. It means a lot to me.” She turned back to the sliding door and opened it, a gust of wind sending her cape billowing once more. She turned back to Lena one last time and spoke as she stepped out into the evening sky, “I trust you. We’ll figure this out together.”

Lena’s uncertain smile was enough for Kara to know she had said the right thing. She closed the door and took a deep breath, looking to the open air above. She took a moment to listen to the world, the serenity of being in the eye of the storm of her life.

Another deep breath.

Clenched fists.

She then jumped towards the clouds, soaring into the violet sky.

Flying didn’t feel so heavy now. She was going to be okay. Eventually.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some parallels with this concept and Project Medusa at the moment but I hope it isn't too heavy-handed! I feel like there's important exploring to be done in the Lena/Kara dynamic that is more facilitated by this plot than a virus, is all. Thanks for reading!


	6. Something Good

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so much for your comments and kudos seriously your warm reception has given me life also a pressure to live up to your expectations haha so I hope you enjoy it. Also Happy New Year!

Lena had eventually sent Kara a message about meeting for dinner. After several glasses of scotch, a Kryptonian interruption and then another three glasses after that.

_What’s changed?_ Supergirl had asked.

Nothing. And everything.

Lena had seen herself in Lex and that had terrified her. That was enough for her to want to run away from National City altogether, but she had made a promise to change and be better. LCorp’s reputation was at risk already but maybe Lena still had time to make Luthor into something better. Ray guns and earthquake machines aside that started with the small things.

Like not running away the instant things didn’t run according to plan.

_I’m about to leave Alex’s. I’ll see you soon._

Lena walked to the bathroom, gauging her drunkenness by her ability to maintain a vertical composure en route. She was doing okay.

Gripping onto the sink’s edges she looked into the mirror. Her eyes were sunken in, betraying her fatigue. Grabbing her lipstick she began to reapply it until her lips were once again their deep, wine red. Her hands then moved around her face looking to fix up her contour or hiding a blemish.

Once she was satisfied Lena made her way back to the living room. They had foregone meeting at the restaurant and Kara had kindly opted to bring over takeaway. It was not the glamorous dinner Lena had originally planned or wanted but it was what Kara had requested and Lena was silently grateful for it.

Lena filled up her glass once more, this time more for appearance than for use. She sipped and sat, skimming through reports she wasn’t really reading to keep her mind from thinking about the day she’d had.

Lena’s distraction worked better than she’d thought when a knock on her door caused her to flinch. She glanced at her watch then made her way to the door, glass in hand.

When Lena opened the door the very sight of Kara settled an ache inside of her. The blonde girl was beaming, her hair disheveled as if she’d rushed there. In her hands was enough food to feed an entire family.

“Kara come in. You look lovely.”

Kara flushed red and moved inside, setting the food down on the nearest surface. She fiddled with her glasses, her response laced with a nervous happy energy that elicited a genuine smile from Lena. There was no trace that Alex had told her anything about LCorp or the Worldkillers, and for that Lena was relieved.

“Thanks Lena. You look _incredible_. I’m sorry I didn’t want to go to that nice restaurant tonight. I just had a really long day and I don’t really want to be around a lot of people.”

“No, of course Kara. I’m actually glad we changed it. I was feeling a bit under the weather myself.”

“Are you okay?” Kara asked, genuine.

Lena felt the alcohol tug at her conscience, driving her to answer a million different ways.

“Yes.” Lena said, perhaps after a too-long pause. “I am. I will be. It doesn’t matter. Tell me about your day?”

Kara’s face changed. She shrugged and began digging through the food to distract herself, “Just…family issues. Petty stuff.”

“Tell me.”

Lena knew Kara could tell she was being genuine. It surprised her to see the young girl pull away at that. She seemed self-conscious, if anything. Maybe self-doubting.

“Another night. I-…I think I’d rather just spend this night with you.”

Lena nodded, caught by surprise by Kara’s words. Kara must have sensed it too, as the redness in her face intensified and now travelled down her neck. Their eyes met and Lena swore she felt herself floating for a brief moment. It may have been the alcohol, though.

Lena took a gamble and placed her hand on Kara’s, her fingers curling around and digging into the flesh of Kara’s palm. The alcohol bid her to speak kind words from the heart, too. Atypical for Lena even amongst friends.

“Nothing would make me happier.”

Kara smiled, small and nervous. She turned to Lena, their hands still entwined, and took a half-step closer, “Tell me about your day? I’d like to hear about it.”

Lena chuckled and pulled her hand out from under Kara’s, now moving to dig around in the food herself, “I’m sorry, Kara, I would need a lot more alcohol in me than this to jump on that train of thought.”

Lena stole a glance to Kara and noticed she did not look offended or upset, just accepting as if she had already expected the answer.

The pair grabbed their food then settled on the couch. Lena’s drinking had slowed now that she was keeping company that could distract her from her thoughts. They talked around their day, more focusing on what the week ahead had in store for them.

Lena ended up conceding that she had no access to the LCorp building until further notice but wrote it off as protective measures because of her brother. As close as Kara and Supergirl were Lena did not want to tell her just yet about Worldkillers and whatever the hell Argo City was. Maybe Kara knew already, maybe that's what Kara kept hinting at. Either way, Lena was not ready to discuss it.

Once their discussion came to a natural close Lena put on a television series of Kara’s choosing. They sat in silence however as the episodes progressed their bodies shifted closer and closer together. By the end of the first their hands were entwined again. The second, Kara’s head was on Lena’s shoulder. At the credits of the fourth episode Lena was lying on the couch, Kara almost lying on top of her. Kara was being held tight to Lena’s chest so she didn’t fall off, and without either of them realizing their breathing had synced in perfect time.

At some point during the fifth Kara had fallen asleep and Lena did not dare to move out of fear of disturbing her. It wasn’t until halfway through the sixth episode that Lena’s eyes grew heavy. She didn’t remember the credits rolling.

In the middle of the night Lena woke briefly to find that the television was off, as were all the lights. Kara was in her arms again, her face now dug into Lena’s chest. Something about that made Lena’s heart warm. Lena stole a moment to kiss Kara’s cheek. As she did Kara let a soft, sweet sigh escape her. After a few seconds longer Lena drifted back to sleep, pulling Kara closer as she did.

-

Lena was woken in an instant, Kara’s limbs flailing briefly as though she was trying to catch herself from falling. Kara was now bolt upright, gasping for breath, a desperate sob accompanying each one.

Lena was paralyzed, watching on in fear as the girl in front of her trembled with such vigor it felt strong enough to vibrate the entire room. Kara’s voice was speaking in whispers to herself, but Lena caught traces of it.

“Just a dream…just a dream…”

Lena cautiously extended her hand to Kara and when it reached her shoulder the girl jumped under her fingers. Kara turned to look at Lena and tears were forming in her eyes.

“Lena…sorry…sorry I didn’t mean to wake you.”

Lena sat up too, her hand still on Kara, her other now finding the small of her back and holding her tightly, “Are you okay?”

Kara nodded but her hands were still trembling. Her mouth opened to form words but no sounds came out. Lena pulled Kara into a hug and the girl began to unravel. Heaving sobs rocked her body and with each breath Lena fought against the strength of her trembling.

Seconds passed. Then minutes.

When Kara’s sobs softened and her heaving eased Lena let her go. Kara wiped her face furiously, desperate to rid any trace of her vulnerability and attempted to speak through her hiccups.

“Just a bad dream. I…I dreamt of my parents. I haven’t dreamt of them in so long.”

Lena brushed stray hair away from Kara’s face and she felt a strange sense of jamais vu. Kara looked so incredibly different without her glasses, with her hair down. She felt as though she knew the look without having seen it before.

“It’s okay, Kara. You’re safe. You’re awake.”

Kara nodded, her breathing slowing down now.

“I watched them die again. I was so powerless. I was just a little girl again. I couldn’t do anything.”

Lena pressed her hands into Kara’s to stop them from shaking. The faintest lip of sunlight peaked up from the horizon, the sky already turning red with morning. The sunrise always seemed bloodier during the winter months. Maybe it was the illusion of the season. Either way Kara looked to it and seemed unable to look away.

After a minute Kara finally came to life again, her eyes still fixated on the rising sun but her voice sounded stronger now.

“I’m sorry. You should try and get some more sleep. I think I need to go home.”

“Don’t be silly Kara. Stay-…”

Kara interrupted Lena, turning to her in a way that made her cut her words short. Kara then leant in and placed her lips in the void between Lena’s cheek and lips. The moment was brief but lasted an eternity. Lena’s heart sped up and her breath caught. She stayed still until the moment Kara pulled back. When she did her hands no longer trembled and her tear-stained face was the only evidence of her nightmare.

“I’ll be fine after a walk. I need to clear my head. Thank you for last night. I needed it. I’ll speak to you soon, okay?”

All Lena could do was nod. She watched in silence as Kara tied back her hair and put on her glasses with measured precision. As she stood she pulled at her dress, attempting to hide the fact she’d slept in it. Then suddenly she was leaving.

Lena stayed on her couch when she was left alone. Her eyes were drawn to the now mellowing sunrise and she stayed to watch it, Kara’s scent still lingering in the air around her.

The day before now seemed a lifetime ago. Supergirl’s words hung heavy on her. _I trust you. We’ll figure this out together_.

Lena realised she knew very little about the Kryptonian but her ability to be genuine was unmatched. The fact she had made the effort to see Lena and apologise hadn’t gone unnoticed. Lena was not used to such displays of vulnerability, less so from a superhero.

Kara invasively intruded on her thoughts once the skyline turned golden. She was not unlike the Kryptonian. Her mannerisms were meek and shy, she had none of the pride but touches of her fierceness. Kara’s tortured past caught Lena by surprise, as most things about Kara did.

_I watched them die again._

When the couch underneath Lena creaked she realised her hands had been squeezing the life from it. She forced her hands to relax. A waft of Kara’s scent hit Lena once more and the couch was creaking again.

Relax.

Lena closed her eyes and her thoughts circled Kara still. Her past. Her blue eyes. The way her hands waved about chaotically when she was speaking. Her kindness. God, her kindness.

When Lena finally emerged from her thoughts the sun was well above the horizon. With that came the reality of what the day held for her. Media releases, bad press, some leaked information no doubt, the logistics of working from home and ensuring her workers were maintaining productivity too.

What was it, that thing about courage? Ambition in the face of adversity. Lena did not like the look of the day ahead of her but it was the cross she had chosen to bear. Just some days…some days it was heavier than others and it felt like it was growing heavier every day.


	7. Feels Like We Only Go Backwards

On this day Kara could think of no place she would hate being more than work. Wrecked by her fresh nightmare the sickening reality that Argo City may still be orbiting some mass in the vast expanse of space had begun to settle in. Kara had emptied her stomach enough times to reach bile.

The nightmare was new and unlike the ones that had plagued her previously. It had drained her like a solar flare. The walk back to her house she had been plagued with the screams of her parents, the sound so real that it had brought tears back to her eyes.

Now in the office her parents’ screams had been reduced to whisperings. They were telling her stories now, the legends of the Worldkillers. Gods against men.

Alex had told Kara the previous day to phone if she had nightmares. Alex knew Kara’s nightmares well. Growing up Alex had gotten used to holding Kara as she cried and helped rock her back to sleep. Their limbs were entangled as Kara attempted to get as much physical contact as she possibly could, desperate to find a way to ground herself. It didn’t help that she kept floating whenever she got too nervous back then. Alex would squeeze her, gripping her so tightly to stop her from floating that the air had to fight to get into Kara’s lungs. Looking into the toilet bowl, sprawled unceremoniously on the floor of the cubicle, Kara felt like that was the type of hug she needed.

Kara pushed herself up and somehow it required every ounce of her super strength to muster it. She stood. Swayed. Flushed away the remnants of her breakfast.

Kara cleaned her face and washed out her mouth. Looking into the mirror she felt she barely recognised herself. The more things sunk in the harder it was to be optimistic. It was getting hard to act as Kara Danvers, her compartmentalization now spilling across each other. How was she going to get through the day?

_Is this what people who hate their jobs do every day?_

Kara finally exited the bathrooms and made her way to James’ office. She lingered at the door, waiting for him to finish up his call. When he spotted her he smiled and began to wrap up his conversation. Once he was done Kara finally entered, unable to really look him in the eyes.

“Hey Kara. How was your weekend?”

Kara shook her head.

She tried to speak but once again words were failing her. James went to her and placed his hand on her shoulder. He paused there for a moment then pulled her in for a hug, not needing or searching for an explanation.

Muffled through the fabric of James’ shirt Kara murmured.

“I can’t be here, James. I’m sorry. I need to go home.”

James pulled back, his hands still on her shoulders, and he looked into her eyes, “Of course. I’ll speak to Snapper.”

Kara gave a nod in lieu of thanking him, afraid she only had so many words left before she started crying again. She wished she could explain that she couldn’t talk about it right now. She wished she could tell him that she was certain when she turned around she would see her parents’ bodies on the floor. He deserved an explanation as her boss and as her friend but he didn’t need it, which somehow made it that much worse.

Kara left and thought about flying. Somehow the thought of flying disagreed with her well-empty stomach. Perhaps it was more the fact she would be encased in her family’s emblem and be reminded once again of what she had lost on Krypton.

So she walked. The walk to Alex’s apartment was far but by the time she arrived her stomach had settled slightly. Small mercies.

Kara found herself at Alex’s door and knocked. Feet hurried to the door with a muffled “Coming!” and Kara heard a second voice from deep in the apartment. As the door swung open Alex’s eyes steeled at the sight of Kara, her grin now replaced with a look of concern, “Kara?”

Kara smiled in an attempt to put Alex at ease but it didn’t particularly work. Alex stepped back, letting Kara in. Maggie was on the couch, enraptured with whatever show was on the television as it reached its climax.

“Sorry for dropping in I just,” Kara looked to Alex and their expressions exchanged more than words could.

“Mini Danvers!” Maggie said before Kara could speak again. Kara smiled and looked to the cop. Judging by the fact she was wearing Alex’s clothes she had spent the night. “Good to see you again.”

Kara could feel Alex beside her bracing herself, readying herself to ask Maggie to leave. Infatuation suited her, though, and there was a certain shine to how she looked at Maggie. Kara hadn’t seen Alex this way before and she didn’t want to ruin it. Her anxiety could wait, maybe even dissipate with the added company. After all more than anything she just needed to be reminded that she hadn’t lost everything. She needed grounding.

“Good to see you too, Maggie.” Maggie was crossing the distance between them with an outstretched hand and Kara went to meet her with a hug, “Can I crash your date?”

“Of course.” Maggie said, her eyes lighting up as she accepted the brief hug. “Should you be at work? Alex is always going on about what a hotshot reporter you are down at CatCo. She talks more about you than she does about the fact she works with Supergirl!”

Kara laughed, genuine, and blushed, turning to Alex in time to catch a subtle look of embarrassment.

“Uh, day off for me. Just needed the company to keep myself from going crazy.”

Maggie nodded, her eyes now watching Kara carefully. Her face was serious now in a way Kara recognised from crime scenes and covert operations. Alex seemed to recognise the look too, understanding that Maggie’s mind was now working away at the puzzle before her. Alex dug herself into Maggie’s side, arm wrapping around her waist and successfully distracting her from undoing Kara.

“Should we get food?” Alex suggested.

“Good idea.” Maggie replied, now grinning at Alex, her eyes dancing with joy, “My treat. Since all you ever have in your fridge is beer and frozen leftovers from Kara.”

Before Alex could protest Maggie planted a kiss on her lips. Alex then pulled away, red and furiously embarrassed.

Kara could do this. Keeping Maggie helped ground her in a way she hadn’t expected. Alex being happy fought the demons screaming in her head. That said when Maggie left to get the food and Alex swept into Kara, hugging her and holding her in the way Kara needed…that set the world right again for a moment.

Alex whispered into Kara’s ear, pulling her tighter with each word, “You should have phoned me. I would have come over.”

“It’s silly. It was just a dream…”

“Hey!” Alex said, still not letting her go, “I know what it’s like for you.”

Kara pressed her hands into Alex tighter than she meant to. She had always been afraid of hurting her with her hugs growing up, learning with practice what pressure to apply. Alex was grown now, though, with sturdy bones and strong muscle. She didn’t make a noise when Kara squeezed tighter again, instead shifting to kiss Kara’s cheek as a sign it was okay.

“I need to find it. Argo City. I need to see it.”

“We’re working on it.”

“And I need to talk to Lex.”

“Kara…” Alex still hadn’t let go. She knew she couldn’t.

“I need to talk to Lex Luthor.”

“Okay…”

Eventually Maggie returned. Discussion turned light but both Maggie and Alex noticed the way Kara kept shifting and jumping with every noise. She sometimes turned to look for something, searching for somebody that wasn’t there. Her words were distant and vague. She stayed, though. Her nightmare did too, but it was fading. Every time Maggie made Alex laugh it wore away a little more.

The conversation was brought to Supergirl. Maggie casually said Alex admired the girl. _Not as much as she admires you, Kara_. She’d added. Maggie spoke of what Alex had told her about the day before.

“She lost control, though.” Kara added, sharp.

Maggie’s face was soft, sympathetic to the alien plight as she always was. “I can’t imagine getting news like that. Hell, I can’t imagine being in Supergirl’s position in the first place. I don’t think people give her enough credit for being the last of her kind and using her powers to help people.

“It’s nice to know she has emotions too, though. If I was in that room and Supergirl got that sort of news and she did nothing but smile and be optimistic?-“

Kara interrupted, her voice more desperate than she wanted it to be, “Superman would have…”

Alex spoke for the first time since the discussion had turned to Supergirl and she grabbed Kara’s hand, squeezed it, “Trust me. I know Supergirl. She’s lost more than Superman ever did.”

Maggie continued, “Just because someone wears a uniform doesn’t make them infallible. I’ve spent enough time as a cop, and as a human being, to know that someone’s demons don’t make them a bad person.” She smiled and looked at Kara in a way that made her feel like she knew her secret, or at least that she had a feeling, “Hell, I used to work in Gotham. They have a lot of people running around in masks trying to make the world a better place down there. Some of them have more demons than the ones trying to blow it up.

“I’ve seen evil.” Maggie said, now leaning back into her chair, “Supergirl isn’t it. Not even close.”

The room went quiet and Kara let the words sink in.

After some time Alex turned the conversation to something else and the atmosphere lightened once more. At some point Kara’s phone buzzed and she checked it, half-expecting it to be James or Winn. Instead it was Lena and Kara couldn’t help but wonder if she had been drinking, composing her text for an hour or so before she finally worked up the courage to hit send.

_I hope you’re doing well._

Judging by Lena’s brevity Kara’s assumption was all but confirmed. Behind those five words Kara could almost hear the words Lena wanted to say. She had proven herself to be very emotive, despite her steely exterior as the LCorp CEO. Kara sat on her reply for ten minutes, planning her words. Eventually as Maggie and Alex became engaged in a heated discussion over the plot of an upcoming episode of some show they watched Kara took the time to type out her response.

_Getting there._

Kara found her hands stopping. She realised Lena’s dilemma. There was so much to say. Lena was so kind about it yet Kara was in no position to go telling her that she was Supergirl. Especially not now with her plan to visit Lex. Only Rao knew how that meeting was going to end up.

_Getting there. Had to leave work. Hope LCorp gets to open again soon._

Lena responded within a minute of Kara’s text.

_You’ll be the first to know. I’d trust no-one else with that exclusive._

When Kara found her fingers stilled on her keyboard her phone vibrated again with another text from Lena.

_I’m glad you’re okay. I couldn’t stop myself from worrying. I won’t keep you but I’ll always welcome your company if you need it._

Kara smiled. Her first one since Maggie had made her laugh when she first arrived. Alex seemed to notice and Kara found her staring, a look of relief on her face.

_Thank you Lena. I’ll see you soon x_

That was enough.

Maggie was staring now too. Kara would have offered an explanation but the pair both seemed to know that now wasn’t the time. Kara wasn’t ready to justify herself to Alex about Lena again. She wouldn’t press it with Kara like this but Kara could never really handle that look Alex gave her when she was disappointed.

As day slowly shifted into evening Maggie excused herself, explaining she had to go to work. As she left Maggie and Alex shared another kiss, one that left Alex’s heart pounding so hard and loudly that Kara wondered if she needed her super-hearing at all. Maggie then tipped her head to Kara, a grin crossing her face once more, “Hope you’re feeling better soon, kid.”

When Maggie closed the door Alex collapsed in a heap beside Kara on the couch. She was lovestruck for a moment, her head rolling to face Kara as she whispered, “She’s cool, huh?”

Kara smiled and nodded, more tired than scared now, “She’s cool. You really like her.”

Alex nodded, “I do.” She pulled Kara close to her, her arms wrapping around her to give her another hug, “Do you want to stay here tonight?”

“Please.”

“Of course.”

That night Kara had trouble falling asleep. When she did she’d be woken by her nightmares again and Alex would patiently bring her down, holding her, softly whispering that she’d be okay. Kara would drift back to sleep every now and then, Alex well versed in the practice of maintaining her patience each time Kara would jerk awake with a sob.

When morning came Kara felt as though she’d had no sleep at all. She was tired. So, so tired. From more than just lack of sleep too. Alex still held her in the morning. It wasn’t until Alex needed to leave for work that the pair rolled out of bed.

“Be safe.” Kara said as Alex left for work.

“You too.”

Kara cleaned herself up and got ready to face the day. Maybe today would be better. Hard, still, but better.

There was always hope.


	8. Thick Face, Black Heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> //  
> Contrary to common understanding, a good man’s actions are not always gentle. They may be ruthless, cold, and dispassionate. - Thick Face, Black Heart  
> //

A week passed before Lena was allowed back into LCorp. The DEO had stipulated that the Worldkillers had been removed and taken to a secure facility, along with all records of the beasts. Due to Lena’s cooperation she wasn’t being charged with anything, just monitored every moment of her waking life until further notice, apparently. That was thoughtful, she thought, considering her last name.

As promised Lena had texted Kara, letting her know she was privy to a scoop. Her cover story was renovations after an explosion, some excitement included to justify the presence of black-clad government agents that had loitered outside of LCorp for the better part of a week.

Before returning to work Lena organized a flight to Metropolis. One of the perks of being a Luthor was reputation preceding her. That meant sometimes barriers fell away at her touch.

“Miss Luthor.” Her chauffeur greeted her as she stepped onto the tarmac. She didn’t look at him as he opened her door. The drive across town was long and filled with memories. She wasn’t certain if it was her guilty conscience or not but she saw she spotted Superman flying through the air at some point.

Eventually they were crossing the bay, out of the grandeur of Metropolis and approaching the slums of Gotham. The sister cities had a tumultuous history. Metropolis had a wealth of business and inventive entrepreneurs. Its wealth and prosperity was never marred by Superman’s destruction of property, the rich had an investment in him and quickly threw money at whatever wreck he created. Gotham’s decaying infrastructure and crime sprees, combatted more with vigilante bats than police, gave it a poor reputation amongst the Metropolis elite. Lena could count on one hand the amount of reputable names left in Gotham. A majority of their most well-known citizens were criminals, locked away in Arkham Asylum.

That was where Lena was headed. Arkham Asylum, a prison for the criminally insane. When Lena had heard that this was the hole they were throwing Lex into she hadn’t known what to feel. Lex was a criminal, sure. Insane? That was harder to reconcile. They made jokes about Arkham growing up. The idea that Gotham had a prison at all seemed bizarre to Lex, he’d get her to join along in his jibing. How could they have a prison when everyone was a criminal?

The animosity between Gotham and Metropolis had grown after Superman arrived. Suddenly Metropolis was the one being torn apart by crime but they had the money to repair what was ruined. Their snobbish attitude towards the people of Gotham didn’t change. It was at the point where people that tried to leave Gotham and live in Metropolis but were only met with discrimination and, at extremes, violence.

They arrived in Gotham and turned off towards the outskirts of the city. In the distance she could still see outline of Metropolis. It looked untouched by Lex’s madness. She remembered watching it tremble from a distance as the ground beneath it began to crumble and move at Lex’s hand.

Lena looked away from the window and down at her phone, attempting to distract herself from who she was about to face.

Twenty minutes later and the car slowed to a stop. Lena’s stomach lurched. She steeled herself, her knuckles turning white as she gripped her phone tightly.

A rush of cold wind hit her as the door was opened for her. She stepped out, her stilettos grinding against gravel. She looked at the building in front of her. It was haunting. Desolate.

Lena was guided into the building by a young woman who looked too meek to be working amongst some of the greatest criminals known to humankind. Their trip was wordless, the sounds of the prisoners filling up the silence instead. Screams, strange words, laughter. A deep, resounding laughter.

Lena had not seen Lex since his trial. Her thoughts were intrusive as she tried to focus on where they were going. Before she could clear her head, though, they came to a stop.

“Miss Luthor your brother currently has another visitor but as soon as they’re done we’ll take you through.”

“Who?” Lena asked, her voice more accusatory than curious.

“We try to maintain discretion here at Arkham Asylum so unfortunately-…”

“Miss Luthor.” An all-too-familiar voice interrupted. Lena looked up and saw the red and blue. Her heart sunk.

“Supergirl.”

Would there be anything left of Lex to talk to?

Supergirl strode up to Lena, prouder than she had been during their previous meeting, “What are you doing here?”

Lena figured now was a time to be honest, if ever, “Searching for answers, Supergirl. Might I ask the same to you?”

Supergirl nodded, her eyes fierce and alive, “I’m searching for answers too.”

Lena shifted, searching Supergirl’s eyes for a hint of what to expect, “Did you find any?”

“He’s not too fond of my family crest.”

Lena glanced down to the crest, tracing its design with her eyes. She then looked back up into Supergirl’s eyes. She had no idea what to say. Her mouth was dry now, and somehow seeing Supergirl had just made everything feel worse.

“Good luck, Miss Luthor. I’ll see you back in Metropolis.”

“Safe flight.” Lena said, a touch of humour in her voice.

Supergirl left, striding off into the hellhole that was Arkham Asylum, her broad shoulders and indestructible cape seemingly unaffected by the madness contained in its walls. Lena looked down to the hall in front of her, the door that Supergirl had emerged from at the very end. The attendant gestured to it with a half-smile, indicating she was free to proceed.

Lena slowly walked to the end. Her footsteps echoed here, they were now far away from the open cells and there was no anguished cries for help.

Lena pushed the door open and found herself looking at him through a window of thick glass. Lex, her brother, sitting on one of two chairs present in an otherwise empty room. In his orange jumpsuit with a bald head he looked more like a stranger than her brother. She looked to the security guards that guarded the entrance and they gave a nod. She pushed open the door and found herself stuck. From this side the glass was a mirror and it gave the room a much more eerie feeling. She felt as though the whole world could be watching and she would never know. It was so different from the private moments they had stolen in the Luthor mansion, under sheets, in hidden passages.

Lena wished she could turn around and remember Lex as that. That sweet, caring boy who had looked after her at every turn.

“Back for some more, Supergirl? Insatiable. You know I never had this much luck with girls in high school.”

“Charming.” Lena said. She hoped Lex didn’t catch the weakness in her voice.

Lex whipped his head around, his eyes bulging at the sight of her, “Lena!”

Lena clenched her jaw and walked forwards. His eyes didn’t move from her, instead following her until she was standing in front of him.

“What are you doing here?”

Lena pursed her lips, wondering if Lex could still read her as easily as he used to be, “Supergirl.”

Lex writhed, “She’s watching?”

Lena shook her head and sat, “She’s gone. Probably halfway back to National City. But those Worldkillers you left behind have caused me a headache.”

Lex’s eyes lit up with pride at the mention of them. He smiled in the same eager way he used to when he had some new invention to show off, “ _You_ kept them.”

Lena nodded, “I didn’t have much choice, did I?”

“You know I like Supergirl. She has anger. She doesn’t pretend to be human like her cousin. Her parents were _very_ clever. That hologram holds such information…”

Lena interrupted her brother’s ramblings, hiding her nervousness by folding her arms, “What is Argo City?”

Lex’s eyes glowed, “So you read my notes. Good. Argo City is the remnants of Krypton. A Kryptonian portal lies in the asteroid belt past Mars which leads straight to its heart. A bubble covers it, illuminates it as it travels through the vast expanse of space. When I got there it was ruins but I found a way to make it live once more. Lena it was incredible. These Kryptonians had technology more sophisticated than our Large Hadron Collider making their _clothes_.”

“Why.” Lena said. The words got stuck in her throat.

 _Why did you have to travel beyond the skies? Why did you bring a dead city back to life? Why did you bring back creatures that could bring about the destruction of the world? Why is this a game to you_?

“Lena don’t you see? Using their technology we could _defeat_ them. They’re running around playing gods and humanity doesn’t get a say in it?”

“You’re the one who wanted to sink Metropolis into the bay, Lex.”

Lex shook his head vigorously, laughing as he did so, “No, no. Superman was always going to save the day. I wanted to lure him out.”

“The hologram apparently said there were people alive on Argo City.”

Lex nodded, “When I got there bodies were everywhere. I’m guessing a stray asteroid or solar wind killed them. They’re not always invincible. But what they did have is a database. A tangible, technological collection of their beings. I rebuilt them. Some of them. Zor-El, for example. Superman’s uncle. Supergirl’s _father_. He had the Worldkillers in a stasis and had been studying them, it’s where I got most of my information. He wanted to weaponise them. He had completed a control rod just before Krypton was destroyed, apparently, so I know it’s possible. He had Isotope 454, too, which is how it ended up in LexCorp- _sorry_. LCorp,” a smarmy smile, “LCorp’s stores. That weapon you so majestically made inert. It seems humans and _monsters_ aren’t that different. They would have unleashed those beasts, that virus on us in an instant.”

“You were close to being able to control the Worldkillers. You wanted to use them to protect Earth?”

Lex eased, sweat beading on his forehead with his nervous energy, “Lena I couldn’t care less about Earth. I wanted to protect you. Superman made his vendetta against me very public. Don’t you remember? He came to me under the guise of friendship. He gave endless praise of my inventions. I fell for his charm. Then suddenly all my inventions were breaking, being torn apart. The harder I tried the more I failed. He was enacting divine intervention, like god with the tower of babel. As soon as humanity reached for the stars he was there, swiftly crashing through the infrastructure in the name of saving the day. What was to stop them from going after you? Why should these monsters fly around deciding who to hate? I wanted to show him that you can’t keep stepping on us like ants and expect us to not bite back.”

Lena paused, her brother’s words sounding somewhere between crazed and rational. He could see the confliction in her eyes, he tempted it, “I promised to protect you when you first came into our family.” Lena felt her eyes burn, tears threatening to form at the edges, “I’d have sunk Metropolis into the bay to make that happen. I’d have set our world on fire. So long as you were safe.”

Lena stood up, her voice cracking as she spoke ( _God she wished it didn’t)_ , “Then you’re a murderer, Lex. And I can’t help you.”

As Lena began to walk away Lex said, “Supergirl spoke very fondly of you, Lena.” She stopped, turning her head back to listen to him. His voice was filled with something human now. Something kind. He was that sweet, caring boy. Briefly, at least. “Be careful. Please. I know they shine like the sun but _God_ their eyes burn. They don’t trust us, Lena. They never will.”

Lena continued her stride, her stomach threatening to evacuate its contents at any moment. When the door opened she walked into the next room and could not hide her surprise when she saw Supergirl standing there, watching as if she had been there the whole time.

At the sight of her Lena bolted, desperate to find the bathrooms or a bin or anything that could- no. No her stomach could not wait. She fell onto her hands and knees and threw up into the corner, as unglamorous as a Luthor could get.

A hand touched her shoulder. She flinched, turning to face its owner. Supergirl’s eyes were as fierce as they had been before. Lena wondered what she was thinking.

“Lena are you alright?”

How could Lena begin to explain what Lex’s words meant? Did Supergirl understand the ramifications of being in that room, watching the entire conversation only to prove Lex right? That the Luthors could never be trusted.

Lena pushed herself up and nearly tumbled over herself. Supergirl reached out to steady her but Lena pulled away, confused and hurt. Mostly alone.

“I’m fine, Supergirl. I’ll see you back in National City, no doubt.”

Lena left, determined to avoid a speech from Supergirl about heroics. Before long the voices of prisoners echoed throughout the prison again and Lena had to admit she welcomed the distraction. Her brother wasn’t crazy. Not really. And that’s what scared her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you again for all your kind words! This chapter has been particularly challenging, I've felt.  
> The chapter title/quote comes from an interesting read of the same name - it's about being ruthless in the pursuit of your goals. At its base its a concept that has no moral overtones and is primarily about achieving what you want to achieve. I think it'd be something Lex would read haha, but I would also recommend it to any aspiring entrepreneurs.  
> Without delving into it too much I hoped to portray Lex in a certain light. He is no doubt a despicable character but everyone thinks that what they're doing is right, even when they try and set off an earthquake (for those who aren't DC fans it's canon that Lex built/stole a device to make earthquakes lol).  
> I hope on the show that they tackle Lena's struggle with reconciling her own ideas with Lex's extremes. Character development and all that. Anyway I digress, I hope you enjoy it and I hope to put the next chapter up soon :)


	9. Human

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys you overwhelm me with your comments honestly. Honestly! Thank you so much and I will continue to thank you because holy shit. When I started writing this it wasn't going to be anything and I wasn't going to publish it but here we are so thank you!   
> I'm hoping to have this finished prior to the next episode of Supergirl so you might be getting some regular-ish updates every couple of days!

Kara found herself once again staring down at Lena’s office door. She hated the feeling of uncertainty that accompanied her at that moment. Supergirl had just been making headway with Lena again and now the talk with Lex had shut Lena down. According to the DEO surveillance she had not left the office in three days except to go out for work lunches. She had organized this interview with Kara as soon as she found out she would have the office back but several days had passed since then. Kara wasn’t certain Lena was the same person she thought she knew anymore. She had hope. What if that wasn’t enough?

Kara entered and Lena looked drained. Bags sat under her eyes and her hands looked as though they were trembling from fatigue. As soon as Lena looked up though she lit up at the sight of Kara. Even with her worn-down features she was beautiful.

“Kara. I’m so glad to see you.”

Lena stood and the pair moved to her couch at Lena’s bid. Kara could not help but follow.

“You look tired, Lena.”

Lena smiled and ran her hand through her hair, “It’s been a rough few days. Picking up from a week of being down has its toll.”

Kara maybe took advantage of the way Lena’s heart sped up when Kara shifted closer, maybe grazed Lena’s leg absent-mindedly with her ankle when she crossed her own. Was it manipulative to want Lena to be okay? Was it manipulative to move in ways that she knew would bring Lena comfort even though she had every right to feel angry at her? Well…Supergirl. Whether her goal today was information or getting Lena to keep smiling like that she couldn’t say for certain anymore. Either way she’d be happy.

“I hate to bring it up but…Supergirl mentioned you saw Lex the other day.”

Lena’s eyes glazed over and her mouth thinned out. Kara wondered if she’d made a mistake in her approach but Lena spoke after a pause.

“I did. I imagine she didn’t like that.”

“She seemed concerned for you.”

Lena’s eyes lazily traced Kara’s lips, watching the movement as she spoke, before moving back to her eyes and Kara felt her own heart jump.

“I’m sure she did. Look, Lex is crazy but he’s still my brother.” Kara caught the hesitation on the word ‘crazy’ and wondered if Lena truly believed it, “I am always going to care for him. It’s always going to hurt seeing him locked away like a demon.”

“He’s a criminal.” Kara said before she could stop herself. The look on Lena’s face told her she’d made a mistake.

“Miss Danvers perhaps we could get started on this interview.”

Kara cursed herself internally. She attempted to repair the damage by placing her hand on Lena’s only to have it pulled away, “I’m sorry, Lena.”

Lena smiled in the way she was good at, wide and fake, “He was right about one thing. People will never trust the Luthors.”

Kara felt her body burn, the coldness in Lena’s eyes not melting. The feeling of Lena slipping away was almost tangible, the tension between the pair now palpable. When Kara spoke again her voice was serious but desperate, “I trust you, Lena. I don’t trust your brother. I can’t. But I trust you and I don’t want to lose you because he gets under your skin.”

Lena seemed to consider Kara’s words. When she began to shift back Kara leant forwards and placed both of her hands in Lena’s. She listened as Lena’s heart began to speed up once more and took the moment to shuffle herself across the couch until their knees overlapped, thighs grazing each other. Lena, like all humans, were creatures of passion, compassion. They empathized even when they fought against it; it’s why Kara loved them. Kryptonians were cold. Humans thought they were cold but their sun was warm, their hearts were warm. They had nothing on Kryptonians. Kara had yet to meet a human she could not thaw with time. Lena was not about to break that streak.

“You told me that you were afraid that you were no different from Lex. You are.” Kara’s thumb brushed against Lena’s hand and that seemed to send a fire through Lena. Proximity meant a lot to humans. “I meant it when I said you’re different. You’re not like him.”

Lena opened her mouth to speak then shut it again. Silence enveloped the pair and Lena averted her eyes, searching the floor for some answers to a question plaguing her mind. Her eyes were sad at first. Kara could almost feel the warmth begin to spread to Lena. Then, as quickly as it came, it was gone.

Lena’s eyes now narrowed and she began to shake her head. Her anger was back and Kara tried to tighten her grip on Lena’s hands so that she didn’t slip away. Lena’s voice was cold when she spoke, “I never said that.”

The words were solid but they took a moment to sink in. They were false, outright, and Kara could still hear the words falling from Lena’s mouth as if it was the day before. Then the scene came flooding back. Late afternoon. Lena sat there nursing a drink and her phone. They sat in silence and t-…Kara opened her mouth, her face blanching when she realised her mistake. Lena looked back to Kara, a mistrusting frown now fixed on her face, “Not to _you_.”

Kara closed her mouth and gave a nod.

_Crap._

Kara took her hands back but did not dare move away from Lena. Ever so slowly she reached for her glasses and her hand settled there for a moment. Lena was staring at her with a look of sadness and Kara hated it.

All the powers in the world and she’d blown her cover because she couldn’t keep her own damn timeline straight.

Foolish, foolish, foolish.

Kara pulled the glasses from her face and she whispered, “I trust you, Lena.”

Kara’s hands now reached for her top button. As she began to pull Lena’s hands settled on top of hers. Their eyes met and Kara saw the fear in her eyes. Kara dropped her hands and let Lena lead the way. Lena’s hands were steady as she undid the first button. As they moved to the second Kara felt the slightest tremble. With each button Lena left the fabric aligned, not at all eager to see the blue underneath.

As Lena’s hands made it to the fourth button she moved quickly, the tension suddenly becoming too much for her. Once it was unfastened she pulled at the fabric, the white shirt giving way to rippling blue, red and yellow. Lena’s jaw clenched and she couldn’t take her eyes off the ‘S’ on her chest. Something burned in her eyes. Something.

Lena’s hand moved and now rested on the emblem. She seemed to be figuring out all the hints and clues she’d missed, berating herself for not being more observant. Kara wanted to tell her that no-one ever saw the signs. Kara wanted to say _you weren’t meant to know_.

Maybe it was too much. Maybe Kara Danvers being Supergirl was too much.

Lena had not moved her hand from Kara’s chest when she spoke, “Leave. Please.”

Kara grabbed Lena’s hand with both of her own and opened her mouth to protest but Lena looked up into her eyes once more, tears forming, and her words came out choked, “Kara, please.”

Kara let go of Lena’s hand, let it retreat back to its owner. She then nodded, stood and rebuttoned her shirt in silence. Her mind was racing. Her heart was racing. She may have just lost Lena forever. That felt too cruel.

Kara left. She was halfway to CatCo before she changed her mind and headed to the DEO. There were so many more things she wished she could have said to Lena before taking off her glasses.

_I want to make National City safe for people like you. You’re incredible, beautiful. You’re so much greater than the Luthor name. I understand wanting to make a new name for yourself. I do too. I’m not a monster. I’m not a god._

Once at the DEO Kara found Alex. Alex seemed to know that this was one of those times Kara didn’t want to talk and so they sparred. They sparred until Kara had been thrown to the ground more times than she could count. They sparred until Kara’s limbs were burning and her chest was tight. It wasn’t until Kara was wet with sweat and struggling to push herself up from the ground that they stopped. Even then, it wasn’t enough.

Lena Luthor wanted nothing to do with her. And boy did that _suck_.


	10. Kara Zor-El

Lena went home on her fourth day of being in the office. Kara’s revelation had sent her practically scurrying back to her supply of expensive wines and spirits and she was keen to forget ever pulling apart that shirt in the first place.

Five drinks and her chest stopped hurting. Eight and the world was growing blurry. At ten she thought maybe it would be hilarious if she drunk-dialled Kara. By the end of her eleventh she’d decided against it.

At fourteen Lena’s hands and face were numb. In her mind Lex’s words played over on repeat.

_I know they shine like the sun but God their eyes burn._

Kara did shine. She shined so bright and she set Lena’s cold heart on fire. Suddenly it made sense. The soft, demure demeanor of Kara Danvers with her tortured past didn’t make sense on its own. Supergirl’s fierce anger and raging passion with no family left to love, that wasn’t enough. Instead Kara had anger and pain lingering in the aftermath of her tortured past. Supergirl had family and friends that she loved and protected, humans that kept her from playing god.

That was too much.

Lena had been honest with Supergirl at every turn. She believed in the superhero and her anger was fierce but justified. Her distrust of Lex was reasonable and it never appeared to extend to Lena. But then Lena could not help wonder if this was what Lex had experienced when Superman had extended his hand of friendship. There appeared to be no ill-will or malice. What was to stop Supergirl from destroying her the same way Superman had destroyed Lex?

_Lex destroyed himself_.

Lena downed another drinking, not wishing to think on it. Her mind wandered anyway. Perhaps the only reason for Kara Danvers’ friendship was to keep tabs on the last remaining Luthor. Lena felt foolish for ever believing Supergirl had trusted her. She felt even more foolish for truly believing Kara Danvers was different from any other reporter. She was there to get the front row seat to the Lena Luthor downfall.

Lena’s hands were unsteady when she picked up her phone. Before she realised what she was doing she was writing out a message to Kara on her phone. It took her a few attempts to get out what she wanted, even without considering the typos. There was so much to say and yet there was nothing.

_Please come and see me._

The message sat on her phone for several minutes. Whether due to intentional act or drunken mishap she wasn’t sure, perhaps even divine intervention, the message was sent. Not five minutes had passed before there was a knock at her door.

Lena went to answer it, considerably less upright than she would have liked to have been. Once at the door she swung it open and revealed the Girl of Steel. Glasses and cardigans abound.

“Is the balcony entrance reserved for costumed appearances only?” Lena said, considerably slurred.

Kara blushed at her words and let herself in, uncharacteristically difficult to read. Lena shut the door behind her and continued to speak, “Forgive me if it seems petulant, _Supergirl_ ,” her words were slow and she was not letting herself slur now; she needed to seem in control, “but I wanted you to tell me your name. Your real name. I wanted you to look me in the eyes when you did.”

If Kara felt uncomfortable she made no sign of it. She waited until Lena was in front of her again, their faces separated only by a meter distance, and spoke steadily, with an accent, “Kara Zor-El.”

“Kara Zor-El.” Lena repeated, the ‘El’ lingering on her tongue long after the sound had left her mouth.

“I was sent to earth by my mother and father-…”

“I’ve heard all that.”

Kara started again, her eyes fierce with that same fierce blue passion that Supergirl had and _God_ Lex was right. It burned. “I was sent to earth by my mother and father to look after my cousin, Kal-El. As my pod left Krypton I watched it die. It sent out a shockwave and I was thrown into space. I was alone. Awake at times, briefly. I then waited ten years in the depths of the Phantom Zone. It’s a place where no time passes. No light or warmth exists there either. The cold chilled me to my bones. I waited for ten years in the cold and some nights I still feel it.” Her voice dropped off at the end of her sentence as a memory seemed to flash before her eyes. The girl drew in a breath, Lena’s eyes watching for the brief moment when Kara let herself expand into her own body. Slouched shoulders pulled themselves up and her back straightened itself until meek Kara Danvers transformed into a stranger she knew so well. Lena kept fixating on how she’d missed it. _How?_

“My pod escaped the Phantom Zone and I came to Earth. I was given to the Danvers and they taught me English. They taught me how to control my powers. They taught me how to protect my identity for my own safety and theirs.

“The nightmares were pretty bad at first. They were like what you saw the night I stayed here with you. I would wake up screaming and Alex had to hold me so I didn’t feel like I was floating away. I dreamt of the Phantom Zone too, sometimes. You know there’s something sinister in the way that time stretches out in front of you and yet all you can see is darkness. The only thing you feel greater than the cold is this _dread_ that this is all your life is going to be.

“My grip on reality was strained at the best of times. I really, really struggled those first few years. School was fine but the people weren’t. They knew I was different. I tried so hard to assimilate but my cousin always had it so much easier than me. He never knew of our ways or culture he was a human in everything but biology. My adoptive mum would send him around to talk to me, to get me to stop coming off so strong. That just made me angrier.

“It felt like no-one wanted me to be Kryptonian here and I hated that. I felt as though I owed it to my parents to be Kryptonian. My cousin especially had this warped idea of Krypton. He looked at it through the eyes of a human and projected what he wanted from it. Those first few years I just kept losing. In the end I decided that being Kryptonian was _way_ too much for people and so I let it go. I wasn’t Kara Zor-El anymore. I refused to be for my sake. I became Kara Danvers.

“When I graduated college I found a job that I thought would help me make a difference in this world without using my powers. The world had Superman and I thought that was enough. When Alex was on a plane that was about to crash, though, I saved it. I had to.

“I became Supergirl. And it wasn’t easy. Becoming Supergirl I have to see my family’s crest every day and I’m reminded of what I’ve lost. I’ve had to face people I once loved and hurt them. My aunt, my uncle. I was Kryptonian again. I feel like I didn’t remember what that meant but I also realised I wanted it to mean something different than what it was truly. Kryptonians were great leaders and diplomats, they were explorers and scientists but, all in all, they were cold. I didn’t want to be cold.

“I do it to protect my family. I do it to honour the memory of Krypton and the House of El because if you have power you need to use it for good. I believe in that part of humanity so much. ‘Blood bonds us all’ is a Kryptonian saying. We used it for ceremonies and marriages and swearing in government officials. It was meant to help us serve Krypton and to remind us that we give our all in the name of Krypton. Our achievement as an individual was our achievement as an entire race. For me? That phrase helps me serve Earth. It reminds me that I am no more valuable than anyone else I meet, alien or not. It means that the same stardust that makes up my blood makes up yours. That’s something worth fighting for.

“It’s been hard, Lena. It’s been so hard. I never wanted to lie to you. I didn’t want to lie to anyone. People just find it a bit much. They rarely like other humans let alone aliens.” She said with a small, nervous chuckle to herself as she readjusted her glasses. Her hand fell back to her side and her eyes met Lena’s again. Her face now emanated Supergirl’s radiating goodness and Lena was still left wondering how she’d never seen it. Her voice too, _God_ , her voice held all of Supergirl’s majesty, “I trust you. I just need you to trust me.”

Lena had sobered up slightly listening to Kara speak. Their bodies were still close, the air around them now chilly as they stood still, “A speech worthy of Supergirl.” Lena said, a mocking tone touching her words but her voice too filled with something close to empathy to make it sound sincere, “Why do you need _me_ to trust _you_?”

Kara Zor-El, if that was her name, was bold. Bold in a way Danvers wasn’t. She closed the distance between them and placed her hands gently on Lena’s cheeks. They held there for a moment before her hands moved down to Lena’s collar. Her soft, warm fingers gently traced the edges of her skin as they moved and a trail of goosebumps were left behind. The feeling it elicited was too much, it was too intimate.

“Lena…please,” Her voice was a whisper but still so strong, “I’m not a monster.”

“You’re not a human.” Lena replied despite the air being forced from her lungs at the way Kara looked at her as if she could see straight into her heart and soul.

“Do I have to be?”

In the silence the women looked at each other. Lena was certain there was a tremble on Kara’s hands, a desperation in her eyes. Kara took in a sharp breath and pressed her forehead to Lena’s. Her eyes were trained on Lena’s lips as if waiting for a response. Lena could have sworn she felt the alien shiver against her. The moment caused the world to spin and as Kara shifted beneath her Lena found the distance too close and too far all at once.

That moment was gone too soon. When Kara pulled her head from Lena’s her eyes were closed and her face was pained. Kara took a half-step back to give the pair breathing space, her eyebrows now furrowing and her brain working fast enough Lena was certain she could hear it.

Did Supergirl hear Lena’s heart? She must have, it was pounding in Lena’s own ears.

“I’m not human. I’m not Kara Danvers, not anymore at least. I’m Kara Zor-El and I am doing the best I can to make my existence mean something. Surely you know how that feels.” Her voice was beginning to betray her desperation, “I know you do.”

Lena felt her eyes glaze over. Kara’s stray hand was still on her chest and Lena felt the weight of it crushing her.

“Your cousin picked his battle-…”

“I’m not _him_.” Kara said, a touch of anger on her tongue. Her frustration was now edging out the last traces of meekness and her expression was strong and defiant as if this was a conversation she’d had with herself countless times, “You’re not Lex. We don’t have to do this.”

Lena’s frustration surged with Kara’s and she launched herself forwards, her hands planting themselves on Kara’s chest and she pushed against her. She pushed strong enough for it to floor any human. Kara simply moved back with it, her reaction seeming almost fluent. Her ability to roll with the punches was learned and practiced. To make herself small. To not stand out. Lena had to admit that only made her angrier.

Before Lena found words to speak Kara’s voice cut through the drunken haze that she was beginning to succumb to, “I’m going to Argo City.” Her voice was soft again, quiet in a Danvers way but solid in a Supergirl way. She obviously realized before Lena that meeting anger with anger would do neither of them any good, “We found the portal Lex was speaking of. We’re hoping to find a way to destroy the Worldkillers and we can put all of this behind us.” Kara seemed as lost as Lena felt, “I _do_ want to put all of this behind us. I hope you do too.”

With that Kara left and Lena was lonelier than she was before. All of her emotions still ran so close to the surface but she was unable to discern them anymore. Frustration, sadness, hope, empathy, regret. She realised, after a while, that there was one feeling stronger than all the others. It sat on top, softly and it took a while to admit to herself what it was because, well, Luthors have a reputation. It took even longer to admit the reason behind it.

Lena was scared. Lena wasn’t scared because Supergirl was this invincible deity-like alien whose rage could be switched on like a light. Lena wasn’t scared because Kara Danvers was probably already drafting a ten page exclusive on Lena Luthor’s downfall. Lena wasn’t scared because Lex was right all along about the Luthor reputation, about Argo City still existing and about the way humans were at the mercy of aliens.

Lena was scared because she may have lost the one person she truly cared about. Kara said she wanted to put it behind her but could she? Did she not know what it meant to be a Super and a Luthor? Lena could see it so easily. Kara would see the monsters Lex created and it would all become too much. She would see that humans flew too close to the sun, their technology had become too close and too real. She would burn off Icarus’s wings herself.

Lena was convinced of one thing. She was going to lose Kara. And that was too much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> haha you guuuuys thank you again for your sweet words seriously I keep sending ugly snapchats to my friends of how happy your comments make me, I hope your hearts are okay after the last chapter! I can't promise it'll be much better for the next couple of chapters but hang in there :D


	11. Argo City

The DEO had been studying the Kryptonian pod that had brought Kara to Earth. With unlimited access to LCorp's files they also found the blueprints to the spacecraft that Lex had apparently used to travel to the asteroid belt and beyond. They had created a hybrid of both vehicles to take Kara across the solar system, new and improved apparently. There were solar panels which Kara could use to charge her cells if necessary. She could communicate with the DEO at any time. There was a distress beacon too.

On her journey Kara could not help but think of the irony of Kryptonian and Luthor technology being merged. By the DEO. The middle of two extremes.

Kara didn't quite feel herself. Introspection was one thing but the past week had cast a shadow over her world. She had hope still, yes, but she knew things would be different regardless of what she faced when she returned from Argo City.

Kara tried to rest en route but being flung through space brought back uncomfortable memories. As Earth dropped away from her sight, the moon hanging in the distance, Kara felt her mind numb slightly. All she could feel was the cold of space creeping back into her bones. Visions of her dreams in the Phantom Zone crept back into her consciousness. The ten-year nightmare.

The quiet always felt so loud out in space.

The asteroid belt became visible after an hour. Kara watched as she passed rocks and ice chunks the sizes of tennis balls and cities. Eventually the ship turned, honing in on the portal's frequency. Lodged into a mass of ice was a glowing red field. Its light was ominous and the look of it alone made her tremble. Her ship headed straight for it regardless, though. There was no turning back.

Kara braced herself, half expecting to crash, almost welcoming the idea that Argo City was not real and it was all an elaborate ruse. Instead the ice disappeared. The light disappeared. A surreal hum took its place.

Light struck again but instead of a brilliant gold it was tainted red. Kara's breath caught and she watched with wide eyes as Argo City unfolded in front of her. Her ship was slow now or perhaps Kara's mind was fast. She glanced around to the skies and only saw the milky way, more similar in its presentation as she had seen it from Krypton than Earth. The stars were arranged in the constellations she had memorized as a child – Argo’s Sword, the Arc of Kandor, Drang’s Horn. There was no sign of Rao, the red light emanating from the city itself, a deep red protective dome encapsulating its existence.

Kara's ship brought her to the ground, the portal lodged in the pinnacle of the dome, its existence mildly confounding, but admittedly Kara was more confronted by the reality that this...Argo City...it still...

Kara's ship landed gracefully. Her jaw was clenched as she looked around. They were in the middle of the judiciary district, Kara had spent much of her time as a child here but the experience now felt more akin to watching a video reel. Whether due to the fact Kara was grown now or energy flares from the depths of space she wasn't sure but it did not look as glamorous as she had known it as a child. The ship opened itself, declaring the environment was safe for its passenger forcing Kara to tentatively climb out.

For a moment Kara fell to her knees. Her hands pressed against the ground and it was so solid. So real. She leant closer and pressed her forehead to the ground too, quickly whispering a Kryptonian prayer about the safety of home. Her fingers traced the design on the floor, the lines bringing back Kara's history lesson. If you asked – she could tell you this pattern was done... _what was the year?..._ it would have been two decades before Kara was born. Its style belonged to Kandor, which Kara had visited several times a year growing up. This design was done as a gift to Argo City for... _what was the name of it?..._ it was a celebration of a victory Argo City had several centuries ago.

Briefly Kara saw herself running through these streets, it was so crowded then. She looked up, the silence eerie and so unlike Argo City.

Kara began walking, her feet knowing better than her memory where she was headed. It wasn't long before encountered one of them...the robots Lex had built.

<Kara Zor-El, welcome home. Your father has been waiting for you. Please, follow me. I must take you to him right away!>

Kara stared. It was hard not to. Rotten flesh had been pulled over a metallic interior. The warped, putrid face was one Kara recognized too. He was one of her father's best friends, a scientist. His movements and words were the same as he would have produced. The robotic inflections and motor humming noise were not.

Kara followed regardless without saying a word. They did not stop at her father's laboratory which surprised Kara. It was too late to prepare herself when she realised she was being taken home.

Kara stopped at the entrance, suddenly this world becoming too legitimate. Unlike the Black Mercy there was no feeling of acceptance. Kara was acutely aware that this was her reality but it wasn't meant to be.

<Come, Kara Zor-El. Your father is waiting.>

Inside there were many robots. Some were passing as Kryptonians, their skin unaffected by solar flares or environmental exposure by virtue of luck. Others had the same ripped, jerky-like skin that Kara's guide had. Kara wasn't sure what disturbed her more.

Eventually they ended up at Zor-El's study. Kara stopped again, wanting to prepare herself, wanting to remember her mission. Instead the robot friend knocked on the door. Kara cursed under her breath.

Kara felt her stomach drop, threatening to rise again in order to purge itself of its contents once more, all at the sight of her father. Her sweet, full-faced, soft-fleshed father. He looked as he had when Kara had left, no sign of decay or even aging - as if time had stood still for him and he had been waiting here simply for her return.

<Kara! Kara, my beautiful Kara. I've waited...I've waited so long for you.>

Kara felt tears well up in her eyes and she stumbled forwards, her father catching her halfway. In his arms suddenly it didn't seem so bad. Maybe it was truly him. Maybe there was no metal under him. Maybe it was flesh and bones. He smiled warmly, he squeezed her lovingly. Maybe it was real.

It wasn't until the world stopped spinning several minutes later that Kara pushed herself from her father. She paused, looking at him for a moment and savoring the sight of him. She had forgotten his wrinkles. His lopsided smile.

<Is it you?> Kara’s smile was strong and earnest even if her voice was wavering <It’s not really, though, is it?>

<I am your father. My memories are. My body is just metal and wiring, now. That’s the only difference, my daughter.>

Kara steeled herself and spoke with a stronger voice than she thought possible at that moment, not wishing to soften at the vision of a creature created by a man that had stolen her father’s face and memories. She needed to be stronger than that. She owed it to her father. <I need to destroy the Worldkillers.>

Zor-El's face dropped and something told her that this was going to be a more difficult task than she thought.

Kara pushed, began questioning him. Initially he explained how he had protected Argo City, how he had been building counter-measures for years. He had been working ever since Astra and his own brother had gone to him to explain what danger Krypton was in. He was uncertain if it would work, deciding to thrust Kara into the depths of space because he could not, _would not_ risk her death. Not hers.

Once Krypton was destructed Argo City lived, orbiting Rao and so alone. He had the Worldkillers long before then, he responded to Kara's question. They had been developed by his team, long before a more elegant solution in the form of the Medusa virus had come along. These beasts had never been unleashed, their testing alone proving they were too much to handle. They had almost escaped and certainly would have destroyed Krypton.

He built the portal, had been so close to using it, to being able to go and save his daughter. Then he spoke of Rao's unexpected death and how it had ravaged Argo City even through the barrier he had built. He spoke of dying, his last thoughts of Kara, apparently. He spoke of waking up, a human named Lex Luthor who seemed smart and eager; he had learned rudimentary Kryptonian. When questions were turned to Lex Kara's father spoke of him with respect.

<I considered getting him to stay and work with me on restoring the rest of Argo City but he was determined to leave. Lex Luthor wanted the Worldkillers as repayment of reviving how much he had. He said he wished to rid his world of evil invaders. In turn he promised to return you home to me and he would get you to stay. I have been rebuilding the damage since, awaiting your return.>

Kara felt her fists clench, her fingernails dug into her skin and it hurt. Her powers were starting to fade. So was her resolve. How could she argue with her father? He may be artificial but...who was she to determine whether that was a false existence or not? How much could Lex really have tampered with those memories? Was he even powerful enough to manipulate a fully-formed artificial intelligence?

Kara’s thoughts turned to Alex. Eliza. _Lena._ Returning to Argo City and calling it home would mean leaving all else behind. She couldn't imagine a world without them. She would be losing everything all over again. The very thought of that caused fear to grip her and choke out her words.

<He's killing innocent people, Father.>

Zor-El laughed, it seemed so real.

<There are no innocents, Kara. Surely your mother taught you that. There's only those with power and those without.>

Kara went cold. That wasn’t even Lex talking, that was certainly Zor-El. She realised only then how long she had been away from Krypton. This was the Kryptonian approach to things. Humans…humans were kinder than this and so was Kara, now.

<I can't leave Earth. I am meant to protect it. With Kal-El! We are protecting it from Lex Luthor. Innocent aliens will not die under my watch!>

Zor-El changed. His lips flattened to a line, eyebrows digging and almost meeting. Kara recognised the look in herself, the one she used when she was getting angry.

<You can't abandon your people, Kara. I have rebuilt this place for _you_. >

<I'm going to return home. I can’t abandon my people, you’re right.> Kara said. As her father's face changed once more, lip scowling and his eyes growing wide and red, she realised perhaps she should have been more careful with her words.

<You are home! I am your father - your mother still healing but as alive as me.>

<You are not alive. You’re wires and scrap metal.> She said it more to herself than to him. She didn’t think he realised that. She didn’t think he realised how hard this was on her.

Zor-El scoffed, looking disappointed in the same way he had when Kara had been caught trying to sneak out of her home one night so very, very long ago. <Kara if you cut me I bleed.> He pulled up a sleeve, bearing his skin as if to tempt her to try it. <Synthetic Kryptonian blood. It’s what powers these bodies. Is that what you need?> Lex’s access to it now made sense, at least. Unlike Kara’s entire experience of Argo City thus far. <Are you arguing against artificial intelligence? We knew eons ago that this was the future. I’m just disappointed that a _human_ had to make it a reality. Using Kryptonian technology, yes, but still… >

<Father…if I could stay I would.> Kara placed her hand on the crest on his chest, her fingers trembling as she did. His anger had always terrified her growing up but she realised now she was not too dissimilar from him. His anger was sincere but that didn’t mean he would hurt her. He would never hurt her. <But this is not my home anymore. I have lost you already. I cannot lose the family I still have on Earth too. Not when I know…not when I look around and I’m reminded of death so much.>

Zor-El grabbed Kara’s hand and his face expressed all the incredulity of her real father. <I am rebuilding. Don’t you see it? Argo City will rise again. Kryptonians will rise back from the _rubble_. You will be our leader. The last daughter of Krypton. You can bear the children of the future- >

Kara pulled back, stumbling back more than she was stepping.

<Krypton is dead, Father. I-…> Kara wondered if it was possible to feel hearts tear apart inside your own body. She was fairly certain that’s what that sensation was when pain erupted from her chest up to her throat. <I would stay. I would stay in a heartbeat. But I can’t.> Kara’s arms began to tingle now. She was trapped somewhere between grief and pity. She had so much to say to him but it wasn’t really him. She had to convince herself of that. <Please. Tell me how to kill the Worldkillers.>

Zor-El growled, his face contorting into a cruel scowl as he did. <You only care for those _humans_? You will not destroy the Worldkillers. I won’t let you. I will unleash them on Earth before I let them take you again. >

Kara looked at her father in the eye. She saw his face but a stranger’s at the same time. That stranger was Lex’s warped creation and the angrier he grew the more it reared its face. Her father may be Kryptonian but he was no monster. This sort of evil sounded more like Lex than it did a father missing his daughter. That was too much to fight in one go and so she backed away.

<I can’t stay, Father. I’m sorry. I can’t.>

Kara left, fear and doubt overtaking her. He yelled for the guards to stop her once she left the room but she still had some strength, some speed. Dodging, deflecting and punching her way to freedom she made it to the streets, her feet now running her back to her ship. Her vision blurred and she wondered if it was her weakening powers. When she blinked and it cleared she realized once again she was crying. She could have sworn she had nothing left in her body to cry. Not over Krypton.

Kara had to pull some curious robots off her ship as they attempted to scavenge for technology. Through her tears she activated the pod and watched as Argo City fell away once more.

The journey back to the portal seemed so much faster than the descent. Kara wanted to savour her last look at it. The streets. The details. From the skies it did not look like Lex had touched it at all. Her city was still its grand former self.

Zor-El stood on her landing zone, looking up at her ship. From the skies he looked like her father, too. His eyes didn’t seem to glow red. She couldn’t see Lex’s tendrils of manipulation from here.

It didn't seem right. It didn't seem fair. Kara was leaving Argo City once again and it hurt as much as it had the first time. Her anger rose and fell, dancing with sadness and grief. The memory of losing everything now sat close to the surface and Kara knew her nightmares were far from over.


	12. Paranoia, Ghosts & Other Sounds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hahaaa so my laptop died (it's from 2011 solid effort) and I lost about a week's worth of editing so I have been rewriting a fair bit - but should still be on track to be done prior to Supergirl's TV return!  
> Also slight time-jump with this one - I thought about writing the in-between but it wouldn't have been particularly engaging. As always I hope you enjoy! :) Feel free to follow me on tumblr with the same username - churroscuro  
> I'm only working part time at the moment (woooo) so feel free to prompt ideas for fics or drawings :)

_ Lex, _

_ My brother. I don't know where to start or whether this letter will even reach you but a lot has happened since I visited you. _

_ I know who Supergirl is. I know her name, where she lives, her family and friends. I know her quite well, as it turns out. Perhaps I shouldn't tell you, of all people, that I know who she is but I hope you are reading this as my brother, not as Superman's enemy. Supergirl taught me that much about hope, at least. A long time ago now. It's like jumping off a building and trusting that despite everything the world will be kind for once. You'll begin to soar and, in her words, there is no other way to know if you can fly.  _

_ Sounds stupid, right?  Coming from someone who can already fly. Maybe it is stupid but you are my brother, Lex. You always will be. _

_ I used to believe you and Lillian when you spoke of monsters in the night. I don't know Superman and I no longer know whether my memory of what happened between you two is an honest one. It's not my place to say. _

_ I believe in Supergirl, though, I know that much. She is good. She is a refugee and this is her home. I see myself in her. She looks for a place to belong in a world that will never really accept her but she still hopes. She works. Tries to do her best. Sometimes she fails but she tries again. _

_ I think you'd like her if you knew her, Lex. I really think you would. She does not look at me like a Super should look at a Luthor. She looks at me as a friend. She praises me like she doesn't understand what it means for an alien to praise a Luthor. That is possibly the most alien thing about her. _

_ Lex she is my only friend. She is about to visit her father in Argo City and I wonder what she’ll think when she sees the creatures you’ve created. I wonder what she’ll think of you. What she’ll think of me. What will our legacy be? _

_ I’m terrified of losing her but I fear I may have already. When I found out who she was all I could think about was you. I thought about how you were right. You were always right. Your voice wouldn’t shut up in my head. I feel as though you forced my hand in this. Or perhaps you forced hers. Why would she need me anyway now that she knows all of our secrets? _

_ I still think of you, Lex. On this day especially. Can you believe it? It’s been twenty years. It seems so long yet not enough. I wish things could be different. I would do a lot to change things but I guess I can't change people. I can't change you. I'm sorry for that. _

_ Sincerely, _

_ Lena _

\--

Almost a month had passed and Lena had not had any contact from Kara. Several nights she’d spent drafting texts that were always left unsent. She rationalised that Kara did not want to speak to Lena as not even Kara Danvers had made an appearance at LCorp. The only indication that the girl was still alive was the fact Supergirl was still flying around saving the day.

The DEO had eased off on some surveillance of LCorp and had apparently read all the files they could have wanted. Lena had been advised that Argo City had, indeed, been located and they were working on retrieving the files necessary to kill the Worldkillers. Lena wondered how Kara had taken that.

Lena wondered if she still had nightmares.

On a dark, cold night Lena was working late again. She had thrown herself into work more than ever since Kara had stepped out from her life. It was the only way she could stop herself from spiraling into a drunken stupor. As tempting as it was she still had a company to run and she wasn’t going to let a broken heart tear away the possibility of rebuilding a legacy.

A knock sounded on her door and Lena jumped at the sound of it. Thoughts ran through her head. Crazed gunman? Why bother knocking.  Lost employee? Too late at night. Her mother? Still imprisoned, hopefully. Jess returning to the office for the sole purpose of telling Lena to go home? Maybe.

Lena looked up from her work only after she called, "It's open."

The door swung wide open and revealed Alex Danvers as serious and clad in black as ever.

"Agent Danvers to what do I owe the pleasure?"

Alex stepped in and shut the door behind her, looking more nervous than she was suspicious, which was a nice change.

"The DEO need your help, Miss Luthor. We need a Luthor brain we can trust."

"Now there's one for the record. A Luthor you can trust. I admit I'm surprised."

"It's Supergirl...she's sick. She's been sick for a while but she hasn't been getting better. We think it was something that happened on Argo City. Something that your brother may have planted."

The pair were silent as they exchanged a look. Lena had not seen Alex worried before, did not imagine it was an expression she was capable of making.

"How is she sick?"

"She's lost her powers. No matter how much we charge her up she can't get them back, this isn't a solar flare. We tried a blood transfusion with Superman, we tried going back to Argo City to find out what did this to her but...all of our ships have been destroyed. Lex won't speak to us. We've read all the notes we could find. We've tried everything."

"I recall seeing Supergirl in the news only yesterday, Agent Danvers..."

"That's...a long story. And classified. But it's not her."

Lena watched Alex's face for a hint but nothing came of it. She vaguely remembered some news piece several months ago about some shape-shifting alien but it had been in the middle of Lex's trial. She had been actively avoiding any sort of media at that point. She couldn't help but wonder if the DEO hired more aliens than they captured, though.

"Have you tested her-"

"For any drug. Any anomaly. With her blood, hair, her tissue. Nothing came up." Alex shifted, her hands now nervously fiddling, "Please, Lena. I'm asking for Kara."

Lena's face must have changed at the sound of Kara's name because suddenly Alex looked hopeful. Lena just nodded, closed her laptop then stood, ready to follow.

Alex looked relieved now and gestured. Lena followed downstairs, into a black van then on what felt like an impossibly slow journey.

Lena had been preparing herself for looking at results, tests, data, journal articles written on alien biology. She did not expect to be parked outside of Kara's apartment. She did not expect to be standing in front of her door.

Alex knocked and the door opened after the sound of shuffling and metallic clicking. As they walked in Lena was taken aback by the presence of four armed guards and what appeared to be a laboratory in the living room. Alex spoke confidently now; the remnants of her nerves were left behind with her shoulders now squared and chin held high, "How's Kara?"

"Asleep, Ma'am. No nightmares yet."

Lena's heart skipped a beat. Alex nodded and all at once her fragility surfaced again. Her shoulders sagged and the worry crossed her face. The fact Alex worked hard to keep up appearances around Kara struck a tender chord in Lena. She remembered all too well not finding out the extent of Lex’s madness until it was too far gone. He, like Alex, was so good at lying. Lying in the name of the greater good. 

"We had Kara in a DEO facility for a couple of weeks but she said she was going crazy. So we set this up. All the information is here. We just need to set up your access tonight and then from tomorrow morning you'll be working her from here instead of LCorp. You can still attend to LCorp business but make Kara a priority."

Lena's mouth was dry and she didn't know how long it had been that way. "Of course."

The night dragged on, Lena's orientation more formalities than information. The DEO was resourceful, she'd give them that. Lena wasn't sure if it was hallucination or reality when she heard a soft voice speak her name, though. Not until Alex reacted first.

"Lena what are you doing here?" 

Kara’s voice was gravelly from fatigue. Lena turned to her, perhaps faster than she meant to, and found herself staring at a woman more beautiful than she remembered. Her eyes were tired but bright. Her hair was still styled beautifully, albeit slightly ruffled. Her smile was lazy and lopsided and somehow it was perfect.

Alex spoke before Lena could and she had to admit she was relieved, words temporarily failing her beyond ‘it's _you_ ’. 

"She's going to be working on finding a cure for you."

Kara's face lifted into a smile and she began to move forwards, looking as if she was ready to hug Lena, "I'm so glad to see you, Lena. I've missed you."

Lena accepted the hug, numbed to her fingertips as adrenaline surged through her body. She felt her heart pound and the scent of Kara hit her like a punch. Kara rested her head on Lena's chest and she laughed so softly, so innocently, "That's a sound I've missed." 

Lena felt rapid tapping on her back. Kara’s fingers were keeping time with her heartbeat and she seemed entranced with the cadence of it. In the moment Lena found her arms tightening around Kara in a way she hadn't done to anyone in years. It was the sort of hug she gave when she didn't want it to end. She didn't want Kara to leave. 

How could she be so conflicted yet so assured at the same time? Kara had lied. Had doubted Lena, had made her feel like a Luthor yet said she trusted her at the same time. She'd disappeared. Lena had convinced herself that Kara had only used her to get to Lex. But she hadn't. Here she was, in her arms. She was hugging Lena as desperately as Lena hugged her back. That didn't count for nothing regardless of how pessimistic Lena was.

When the pair eventually pulled away Lena saw a sadness in Kara’s face that had been invisible from a distance. Kara looked at her as if she was the only one in the world. She didn't look as tall and imposing as Supergirl always had.

"I have so much to tell you, Lena."

"Kara it can wait." Alex said, now nervously hovering behind Kara, "Lena you're good to go. We can finish this in the morning."

Kara's face dropped, now desperate and so, so lonely, "No, please Alex. Let her stay." She turned to Lena, "I mean...would you mind staying?"

Lena fell apart at the sight of Kara's face, nodding eagerly in response. When Kara turned back to Alex and tried the same appeal her older sister seemed to have some steely resilience; she was used to this pleading by now, "Miss Luthor is probably tired, Kara."

"Alex, please. Please you can go home. You can see Maggie. I'll be okay."

Alex seemed to soften at Maggie’s name. She stole a glance at her phone. She bit her lip. Contemplated. Lena wondered what kind of woman she must be to make her consider leaving Kara.

"What if something happens while I'm away?"

"When does anything ever happen?" Kara said, "Go sleep. I'm sick of you anyway. You need to stop passive-aggressively cleaning up."

Alex laughed but she looked done. She hugged Kara and whispered something into her ear.

"I know, Alex. I know. I'm safe." Kara said in return.

Alex glanced to Lena, glaring as she did so. If anything happens you will be worse than dead. Lena didn't need to read minds to know that.

Alex then turned to her agents and spoke quietly to them. The only thing Lena heard as she was being pulled away by Kara was, "Don't let Lena out of your sight."

At least some things never change.

Lena was led to Kara's room, Kara mentioning something about how the agents wouldn't encroach on her privacy. They certainly watched from the living room though.

Kara talked a lot. She told Lena about Argo City, her father, what he'd said. She told her about getting sick, about being confined to the DEO, now to her apartment. She hadn't seen any of her friends apart from Alex and someone named Winn, who worked at the DEO apparently.

Lena didn't remember when it happened but they were lying down on Kara's bed now. They were close and Kara's fingers were running through Lena's hair. Lena was talking about her month. She confessed to being worried Kara hated her, that she'd used her. That elicited a sad noise and a long hug from Kara. When they pulled away their bodies were closer still, legs now entwined so that they didn’t know where one ended and the other began.

Kara spoke again, this time of how scary it was to be human. Scary because she wanted to still be out there, protecting the world; she felt obliged to give and give all that she had in the name of El and Krypton. Instead she was gripped by nightmares and apparently unable to open most jars without assistance.

Lena was staring at Kara’s mouth, watching her words and the way she smiled and pursed her lips. She had a feeling that she could lie here and listen to Kara’s stories all night. As silence fell she wished for nothing more than to pull Kara in again and close the distance between them completely. Fear gripped her and froze her in place, though. Even now she worried that Kara would just slip away.

Kara seemed to read Lena’s thoughts quite well without a word being spoken between them. Kara the tension by digging herself into Lena's chest. Kara felt so small and fragile now. Her hug was firm and it felt as if she put everything into it. She squeezed tightly, hesitating every so often before realising that her arms were no longer beams of steel that could suffocate and crush humans with ease. Lena squeezed back to let Kara know it was okay. It settled Kara and drew a sigh of relief from her. Relief as if the world had finally been taken from her shoulders. 

There the pair stayed, now wordless and warm, until Kara drifted to sleep. Her breathing was soft and steady. Her arms still casually draped across Lena. The city seemed quiet tonight and despite feeling her arm growing numb under Kara's body Lena wouldn't be the one to wake her.

\--

When morning came Lena woke and Kara was watching her, a smile gracing her lips like she knew the future and knew it would be good. 

"No nightmares." Kara said quickly.

Lena wondered what the girl thought of her. Was Lena some saint in her eyes? Was she a knight in shining armour? What if she didn't always chase the nightmares away? Hell, already she'd proven incapable of that one the night Kara had stayed at Lena's apartment.

Lena tensed from her jaw to her fists. Kara felt it and slipped her hands into Lena's after some mild resistance, "Thanks for staying last night. And for listening."

"Why are you so kind to me, Kara?"

Kara turned red now, her mouth twitching as she began to formulate words, "You're nice, Lena. And kind and smart..."

"Any other adjectives you can think of or do you want a thesaurus?" Lena asked. She was joking more than anything but a tone in her voice must have betrayed her insecurity. 

"Lena..." Kara was searching Lena's eyes for a hint of what lay beneath but Lena would not let her have it.

The moment was interrupted by the sound of the door opening and closing. Lena and Kara both tensed and they were reminded of the agents in the next room, no doubt still watching them through the gap in the doorway. That discussion was too big to be had in the moment, it seemed.

Kara sat up and Lena swore to herself when her golden curls shone in the light in a way that reminded her of all the majesty of Supergirl. Kara Danvers Lena could cope with. Hell, Supergirl she could cope with. This girl, Kara Zor-El, was so much more to take in and she had known that for too long to make excuses now.

Alex burst into the bedroom without a knock and didn't even look at Lena when she spoke.

"Kara...how are you?"

Kara smiled, glowing slightly and Lena wanted to bury her face in the pillows to stop her heart pounding.

"I'm fine, Alex. I slept fine."

Alex was shocked. She now glanced to Lena but Lena didn't even notice. She was too busy still getting frustrated at the way Kara's face looked in the morning; it was glowing.

"Miss Luthor we start at nine. You should start getting ready."

Lena turned her attention to Alex finally, dragging her head and forcing her eyes to follow, "I'll be prompt, Agent Danvers, don't you worry."

Alex left after giving Kara a look. Before Kara could speak a word Lena bolted from the bed and disappeared to the bathroom, turning on the cold water of the shower. That was the only cure she knew for the warmth spreading through her body. She was a CEO. A Luthor. She couldn't be brought to her knees by the small, stupid, beautiful, naïve, kind, soft, warm powerhouse that was Kara Zor-El. Not today. Not after a month of insecurity and doubt. She owed it more to herself than anything else.

Still. Why couldn’t she stop thinking about the way Kara smiled at her?

If she was honest, she had an inkling...

Throwing herself under the icy shower of water Lena forced the thoughts away. She had no time to think when she was too busy concentrating on breathing. That would be a problem for future Lena to deal with. Not today.

Not today.


	13. Enough

Kara watched another rerun on the TV between bouts of motivation to paint. She'd somewhat grown used to Alex and her team talking about her merely metres away, occasionally grabbing Kara to do more tests or give her medication. She'd lost her temper a few times, kicking out everyone except Alex. Once, even kicking out Alex; half desperate to have privacy and half desperate for Alex to have a life for a few hours. But it was Alex. It didn't work.

Kara was taken for walks occasionally too but rarer since an anti-alien vigilante hate group reared its ugly head. Just in case.

Kara had enough time to her own thoughts to consider whether she felt more powerless without her superpowers or more powerless just because she had no autonomy over her life anymore. She wasn't certain but she guessed it was the autonomy. Hence why she kicked Alex out that time. But it was Alex. It didn't work.

The most variety to her day before Lena's arrival was when Maggie was invited over for date night. Somewhere between spending all her time at Kara's and Alex's constant stress Alex had resorted to telling Maggie everything about Kara/Supergirl rather than lose her. Kara didn't even need to force her. Alex was starting to exist outside of Kara which gave Kara something to be hopeful about.

This was now Lena's second week working at Kara's apartment. Occasionally she would sit down at her laptop, close to Kara, and begin firing off emails or phoning LCorp exponents. Kara enjoyed those moments the most, as they would sometimes begin to talk about some inconsequential thing that made Kara feel like she had friends again. Lena had stayed a couple of nights too, some she was warmer than others.

Kara guessed this was still a lot to take in. It really was. She could see Lena was struggling, trying. Trying at something, at least. All Kara had been able to get out of Lena about her mood swings was how tired she was all the time, followed by Lena angrily stating that fatigue didn't seem to impact Kara's sunny disposition. Lena’s anger at Kara might have been more convincing had she not offered Kara some of her food five minutes later. Still angry, apparently,  _ but I imagine you burn more calories being happy all the time so you still need to eat. _

Lena and Alex argued sometimes. They had a screaming match on the previous Friday about a piece of data. They were near blows when Kara stepped in with her Supergirl voice. She may not have had the powers but it was enough for the pair of them to calm down. Today, though, was different. They seemed to be playing nicely, bouncing ideas off of each other. It certainly made the day less stressful for Kara.

Alex brought Kara over to the bench and started donning gloves which was Kara's signal that some piece of her body was about to be poked and prodded. Alex excitedly babbled on about alien biology and Kara's version of white blood cells. A ten minute tirade later, Lena joining in too, and Kara figured out that they believed there was something in her brain. "Like meningitis. But alien meningitis."

They rambled on more to each other than Kara about how the future would be developing blood cultures for aliens. When Kara made the mistake of asking, "Why didn't it show up earlier?" Alex went on a ramble about a gross misunderstanding on how alien bodies worked, and how it was probably Lex combining Kryptonian medicine with human technology, knowing its limitations too.

"It seems like a lot of effort to go to." Kara added sheepishly.

"Lex was obsessed with taking down Superman. He probably developed the prototype to use on Superman." Lena said, "But the point is it  _ was _ manufactured meaning we can manufacture a treatment."

A very brief explanation of "We're sticking a needle in your spine to take out some fluid" from Alex followed by the deed left Kara more confused (and in pain) than before. She was happy to see Lena and Alex getting along at least.

The week after that was filled with late nights for Lena and Alex, their keenness for a cure bordering on obsession. Kara had tried to send them home but they both argued that they were nearing a breakthrough. They were scratching the surface of the future of alien medicine on Earth. Apparently.

More blood was taken from Kara that week than she ever thought she had. Alex seemed less stressed, though, and more hopeful. Apparently every DEO lab was running tests around the clock with Kara's blood, fine-tuning this cure that they were developing.

That Friday night Alex left under her own volition. After asking Kara whether it would be okay, of course. Kara considered that more of a breakthrough than any of the medical jargon Alex had been ranting on about for the past month. She had asked Alex for a single condition, sensing that Alex’s iron grip had softened slightly. Her only request was for the DEO agents to let her have a single night alone. So Alex let them wait outside the door and sit in a van across the road. For Kara’s sake.

Lena stayed, offering some half-hearted excuse that she’d leave and give Kara her alone time soon enough. Kara didn’t mind her company though. She didn’t mind at all the look of concentration on Lena’s face whilst she was enraptured with some letter in her hands. DEO or LCorp related Kara wasn't sure. Lena had read it a few times now, it was hand-written unlike all of her other reports. It didn’t matter either way, Kara tended to distract herself with the details. It was still Lena.

"You think this cure will work?"

Lena looked up from her paper to Kara and Kara heard the phantom sound of Lena's heartbeat picking up in her ears. Did it still do that? She’d taken her superpowers for granted sometimes.

"It’s a human construct, this disease. Humans can’t construct something infallible."

"It sounded quite complex."

"It is but it isn't. There's just a lot of steps involved. And a lot of dead ends to find."

"That sounds like the definition of complex."

Kara had said it with a smile but maybe Lena heard the doubt in her voice. Lena joined Kara on the couch and turned to face her, knees pulled up underneath her and her feet hanging off the edge of a cushion. Like she was comfortable. That was nice.

"Alex knows what she's doing. Things can get done pretty quickly when enough hands are behind it."

"I know." Doubt was still in her voice.

"We're close."

"I know."

Lena reached forwards, wrapping her hand around Kara's wrist. She had inadvertently found Kara's pulse; Kara felt it bounding against the press of Lena’s fingers. Lena's voice was soft and quiet when she spoke now, none of the coldness she had been trying to put on for the past two weeks, "You're more than just Supergirl, Kara."

Kara shrugged, "Maybe. But I haven't even had the chance to be Kara Danvers lately."

Lena’s grip on Kara’s wrist tightened as her face changed. Kara watched Lena work herself up to speak again. She took a moment to pause.

"You're Kara Zor-El.” She said first, slowly. Almost tasting the word, remembering what it felt like to say, “Kara Danvers is a reporter at CatCo who is sweet and doe-eyed and she could not hurt a fly. Supergirl is hope and brawn, a…” her eyes glazed over slightly, “an immovable object that is the stuff of myths and legends."

Lena shifted closer to Kara, now softly brushing hair from her eyes and  _ Rao _ she must know how it knots Kara's stomach by the look she gives Lena but she does it anyway, "You are neither. You are Kara Zor-El. A girl that lost her world. The girl who has nightmares. The girl who uses her powers to protect and serve. The girl who still yearns to protect and serve even when she has no powers."

Kara averted her eyes from Lena, afraid Lena would peer into her soul without the protection of bulletproof skin. Lena must have felt it because she pulled her hand away and her tone became lighter, "You may not be able to open a mayonnaise jar, Kara, but you're stronger than Supergirl."

Kara laughed. Lena smiled at that, Kara saw out of the corner of her eye.

“You know the reason I kept getting snappy at you these past couple of weeks is because you’re never angry at me, Kara-“

Kara spoke quickly, her concern interrupting Lena’s stream of speech, “Why would I be angry at you?”

Lena raised her eyebrow, a small smile still on her lips but worry seeping through, “Why wouldn’t you be? I’m Lex’s sister. He’s done a lot to you. I kept those monsters-”

“You couldn’t have killed them.” Kara said forcefully, “It wouldn’t have been possible.”

Lena spoke again, her tone more stern this time to stop Kara from interrupting, “I grew up believing that aliens were not to be trusted. I was unnecessarily cold to you when you outed yourself as Supergirl. Why? You were my friend, I should have trusted you. I didn’t. I don’t trust people, Kara. I didn’t trust that you, a  _ Super _ , could be nice to me without an ulterior motive-“

Despite the tone of Lena’s voice Kara interrupted again, her voice filled with that same concern as before, “Why wouldn’t I be nice to you?”

Lena sighed and her hand reached forwards to push Kara’s hair back once again, this time her fingers dancing around the curve of Kara’s cheek. Her fingertips brushed Kara’s ear as a stray blonde curl was returned to its place, smiling slightly as she did so because it was Kara and how could she not? “Do you want to rattle off adjectives again?”

Kara’s knuckles went white and she met Lena’s eyes finally, sadness and worry now replacing the concern that had been there moments before. Their eyes held a gaze as Lena’s hand retreated, falling to rest on Kara’s lap. Kara wondered if maybe she was treating this too seriously, Lena was only teasing after all, but it meant something to her. She had to say something. It was  _ Lena _ . “You know you’re the only person who looks at Kara Danvers with more reverence than Supergirl. Apart from Alex, of course. But you’re it. For the first time since I came to Earth I felt like my role as Kara Danvers was more than an alter-ego. I thought maybe I could do some good with it.”

Kara gestured to the laboratory growing in her kitchen and lounge, “Even here. You look at me the same way. I thought…I thought I’d lost you when you found out who I was. But you still look at me the same.”

Kara felt her emotions rising, Lena’s imperceptible face setting her very blood alight and making her feel like her intensity was disproportionate to the situation, “My ulterior motive was to get you to look at me like that for the rest of my life. I wanted you to see who I was and not hate it. I haven’t been so terrified to be  _ out _ as Supergirl with anyone before. But then I  _ was _ and you got mad but then you turn up here and you…you stay and you look at me like that and you… _ Rao _ you look at me like I am this kind of  _ god _ . And when it comes from you I almost believe it. I can’t describe how that makes me feel. It’s not the Supergirl thing. It’s this  _ tension _ across my body that feels like everything will be okay. It’s like who I am is enough.”

Kara watched to see any change in Lena’s face. She paused to see if her breathing had hastened or slowed. She couldn’t be sure and she didn’t want to pause for too long in case her courage dissipated and so she powered through. “I almost think that regardless of whether or not I get my powers back it will be okay because…because you’re here.”

Lena was silent and her face, her goddamn poker face, was causing Kara’s hands to fidget. After a minute Lena’s hand reached up to Kara’s hair again. She pushed back the same stray hair that she had before as it had loosened during frantic head-bobbing mid-speech. Her hand lingered there, now cupping her jaw, her thumb grazing Kara’s cheek.

Kara leant closer to Lena, wishing so badly to close the space between them. In her mind she saw herself pressing into Lena with every fiber of her being. Just to assure herself that Lena really was there. That she wouldn’t slip away.

Lena began to drag Kara’s jaw closer. Her other hand now snaked around to the back of Kara’s neck and joined her first hand in pulling their faces close. Their foreheads met and Kara let out a sigh, her eyes fixed on Lena’s lips as she waited for Lena to say something. Anything.

It didn’t come, though.

For a moment Kara felt her chest tighten as the panic set in. Thoughts both rational and irrational meshed in her head. What if Lena was only here out of obligation, because Alex had asked her? But then Lena wouldn’t say what she’d said. Her thoughts were abrasive and intrusive and her breaths became short and shallow. Kara’s hands were shaking as she still looked at Lena’s lips. No words were coming. Her mind was racing. She swore she went through the five stages of grief -  _ who needs friends anyway? Why isn’t she talking? I just poured my heart out and she’s not saying anything. I just need you to say  _ something _ , please Lena. Why can’t she- _

And then.

Her thoughts quelled.

Lena’s lips were on Kara’s. Kara realised perhaps she could do without words. She felt Lena’s hands squeeze around the back of her neck and new thoughts sprung up in her head. Thoughts of Lena and making her smile, making her laugh. Kara closed her eyes and leaned forwards once again, deepening the pressure between them. 

The feeling, if Kara had to describe it, was similar to her first time flying. The experience itself was filled with such panic, initially. She felt herself float away uncontrollably and she wondered if she would ever touch the ground again. Elation followed, eventually. Without a fear of falling why shouldn’t she spend her entire life in the clouds? Why should she pull away from this moment? This moment where Lena was holding her and kissing her and making her feel like the world was wide enough for a Luthor and a Super to not only be friends, but be more.

Lena’s perfume hung in the air between them and Kara couldn’t stop herself from going limp at the scent of it. It reminded her of time spent in Lena’s office, interviewing her for some puff piece or another. It reminded her of her late night walk with Lena, the way she grinned at Supergirl when she mentioned Kara’s name. It reminded her most of falling asleep in Lena’s arms and the feeling of being safe. Now it would remind her of the electric coursing through her body and the way her heart raced as she once again stared at Lena’s lips. Her lipstick was still dark and impressively unsmudged. How did she do that?

Lena pulled away as Kara took a moment to re-calibrate, their foreheads still touching but their mouths barely grazing. They were far enough away to breathe and speak but close enough that Kara didn’t want to do either. She wanted to pull Lena back into her and never let the moment die.

“You are enough, Kara Zor-El. You are actually so,  _ so much _ . You don’t even know. But God,” Lena’s laugh rumbled and touched Kara’s body, it was deep and breathy just like her voice which was speaking in intimate whispers, “I always sucked at knowing my limitations.”

Before Kara could respond Lena pressed their lips back together. Once again Kara realised perhaps she could do without words. This was enough. This was good.


	14. Into the Inevitable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok so the final chapters are a bit rushed and may have typos etc but I'm working towards my deadline! Expect a bunch of updates over the next few days (sorry!!) - you have about 4 chapters after this :)  
> Always, always your kind words keep me writing so thank you. Thank you, thank you!!

Lena woke across from Kara and once again she was already awake, staring. This morning, though, Lena leant forwards and greeted her with a kiss. Soft but meaningful. When Lena placed her hand on Kara’s sternum she felt a heart beating ferociously against bones; it was comforting to know Kara’s heart did that too.

The pair rose together and made their way into what space was left in the kitchen that actually served its purpose as a kitchen. Kara began making food, Lena made coffee and the moment seemed sweet enough that the thought of doing this for a long time coming crossed Lena’s mind.

Kara seemed to get bored of watching her food and so she went to Lena, standing just behind her and watching her stir the ground coffee in. Lena welcomed the feeling when Kara’s hands wrapped around her waist, Kara’s chin now resting on Lena’s shoulder. Perhaps Kara needed the closeness as much as Lena did. Either way Lena was far from complaining.

After breakfast and coffee Lena went to shower. When she finished and got changed she heard Alex’s voice coming from the next room. The conversation was muffled but tense.

Lena entered the living room again, shoulders square and chin in the air to give herself, at least, an air of pseudo-confidence. Both Alex and Kara turned to look at her. Alex frowned. Kara smiled.

“Good morning, Alex. I hope you had a good night.”

Alex gave a nod, now moving to the computer screens with a usb stick in hand, “I did. You did too, I heard.”

Kara blushed as Lena glanced to her. Lena would not be put to shame by the big sister act, though. So she smiled and strode forwards to see what Alex was preparing to share. “News from the DEO?”

Alex began pulling up files and Kara joined the pair at the computer, wedging herself between Alex and Lena maybe in an attempt to ease any perceived ill-will. Alex barely seemed to notice once she was engrossed in her work, though, so perhaps her opinions weren’t too cruel.

“Now that we knew what we were looking for J’onn mentioned that traces of the alien virus, well,  _ bacteria  _ you have is all over the pod that took you to Argo City, Kara. It’s a bacteria that affects Kryptonians only. It got into your central nervous system so we were right, it is like meningitis. It was most likely an airborne disease - hard for bacteria to escape when there’s a dome encapsulating the entirey of Argo City. But I’m guessing Lex released it to weaken any Kryptonian that found Argo City while still keeping his robots safe from its effects. It won’t affect their synthetic blood but it  _ does _ affect your brain and nervous system.”

“Sounds…ominous.” Kara said, doubt creeping in her voice again.

“But benign. I mean, apart from the whole…losing your powers thing.” Alex sighed, still trawling through paperwork, “The good news is, though…” She finally found what she was looking for and she proudly turned it to Lena and Kara. A video of cellular masses attacking each other. “We have found a treatment! Our first Kryptonian antibiotic!”

Kara seemed underwhelmed. She murmured something about ‘you mean all I needed was a prescription for…?’ followed by some unintelligible, Kryptonian word.

Lena and Alex were more than happy to celebrate though.

Alex had explained that the treatment was on its way over from some lab in the middle of a classified location. Lena’s giddiness nearly allowed an ‘Area 51’ joke slip past her lips but she held onto it, fearing a glare from the older Danvers sister.

The hours passed slowly that day, despite the company. Lena wished Alex wasn’t there so that she felt comfortable hugging Kara, kissing her again and telling her they had solved it. She could be Supergirl again. She could go back to her life.

Regardless of how Lena felt, though, Kara was comfortable doing those things even in Alex’s presence. The novelty of kissing each other was only just setting in, really. The first time Kara had kissed Lena on the lips Alex had pretended not to see. The subsequent ones were less easy to ignore.

\--

It was the afternoon, sometime before three, when the message came. Kara was mid-sentence when it happened. Her face was bright, almost glowing in the afternoon sun, when she stopped and her face drained of colour. Lena watched in silence as Alex began to fret. She went to touch Kara but Kara softly pushed her back, shaking her head. She looked as if she was listening to a sound that wasn’t there. There the trio stayed, locked still, for three minutes. For Lena it felt like a lifetime. Kara looked as if she wanted to speak but knew it would be in vain. She looked as if the world was falling away in front of her.  _ What was happening? _

Kara then settled and seemed to return to herself. She slunk into herself and looked sheepishly between the two women in front of her. Her voice was quiet when she finally spoke, “My father has come after me.”

Alex’s face grew angry, a scary angry that Lena hadn’t known existed, which was surprising considering she had seen a lot of Alex’s anger in the past few weeks. Lena did not allow herself to react, though. No, she would wait. She would wait.

“H-he spoke to me over a frequency – like Cadmus did. Like Vartox did. He…” She took a deep breath, her eyes narrowing and her voice now slightly reminiscent of Supergirl, “He said to go peacefully or he would destroy Earth.” Before Alex could speak Kara added, “He said he was going to destroy National City either way, so I could never return.” Her face still betrayed her sadness, despite the strength in her voice. “Twelve hours. He gave us twelve hours.”

In the background DEO agents were already on their phones but Alex had not taken her eyes off Kara, “That’s ridiculous. He’s not going to  _ kidnap _ you.”

Kara looked up to Alex with a look that stole Lena’s breath away. In that moment Lena felt enough power surge through her that she was certain if Zor-El stood in front of her she would be able to tear him in two for making Kara look like that.

Scared.

Alone.

Alex recognised it too and immediately went to Kara, holding her, pressing Kara into her body, “I’m not letting him take you.”

Kara murmured through fabric and shallow, anxious breaths, “He’s going to kill everyone.”

Alex shook her head, her eyes closing now to force away the tears, “As if I’d let some stupid robot destroy National City. What would you do without James or Winn or Lena? What would you do without me?”

The last word got stuck in Alex’s throat before she choked it out. Lena could not help but wonder what destruction would reign on National City because of this. Because of, what? Family? Gods and men never did play well.

Looking out into the city Lena felt dread settle over her. Her mind mulled over the letter she had been reading the night before when Kara had interrupted her. It was a letter from Lex. She hadn’t expected a response at all let alone a response that had said so much.

Lena’s attention returned to Kara when she started to speak again. Her words were fragmented sentences about the phantom zone. It was only after Alex calmed her down once again that Kara began speaking of her dreams.

“What if those dreams were just premonitions. The dreams I had in the phantom zone and National City burning what if...what if-...”

“Don’t be ridiculous, they were just nightmares.”

Lena couldn’t say she’d ever seen Kara anxious to this level before. Lena had seen her nightmares, yes. But this was different. Kara was close to falling apart.

Some minutes past and Lena thankfully wasn’t the one to interrupt the two sisters. A DEO agent spoke first, “Agent Danvers we’ve detected a forcefield that is encapsulating the city. Alien. We can’t plan an evacuation…”

Alex ripped herself from Kara and looked up at him. Her eyes were watering but she did not waver, “What about Kara’s cure? Is it-…?”

“Inside city limits. Just made it, I believe, they’re fifteen minutes out. The Director has asked that you stay with Supergirl until further notice. The DEO is working on getting rid of the forcefield.”

Alex nodded her acknowledgement then returned to Kara, her hands intertwining with her sister’s and Lena almost felt as though she wasn’t there at all; the moment they shared was so intimate. As if Alex was holding Kara together.

“I promise you, Kara, I won’t let him destroy National City. I don’t care what I have to do. Even if I have to travel to Argo City myself I will tear him apart and I will set his twisted world on fire. So long as you’re safe.”

Alex can’t have known how closely she echoed Lex’s words. Kara may or may not have remembered. Lena could not help but feel that Lex was right, though, in his letter. Love was destructive.

\--

_ Dearest Lena, _

_ Sister. You have no idea how much joy it brought me when I saw your letter. Your handwriting was always beautiful, I recognised it instantly. I hope you don't have too much trouble deciphering my scrawl but I have so much to write and so, so much more to say that cannot be said with words alone. _

_ Kara Zor-El - I know her Kryptonian name from her father. By all accounts, his and yours, she sounds lovely. I have my own experiences with her and I won't waste time recounting them; I realise I did my fair share of antagonising but for what it's worth she seemed genuine in her affection for you. I trust you. If she has you by her side I do not doubt that you will not let her stray. She is unlike Superman, it seems. She views you as an equal, even in her costume. She is a little too optimistic for our Luthor palates but I imagine you appreciate that in her after experiencing such a series of misfortune. _

_ Who knows? Perhaps you and Supergirl can do what Superman and I could never do. You did always delight in proving me wrong. I love you most when you do. _

_ Zor-El spoke with me at length about his plans for rebuilding Argo City. His violent desire to rebuild his family was sincere. It was in his collective consciousness long before I built his body for him. He made me a lot more militant in my hatred. I had direction and I then had his technology. I learned a lot from him. Strangely enough more about myself than how to kill aliens. I learned what lengths I was willing to go to and who I was fighting for. _

_ Monsters and men, we're not that different. Perhaps my methods were extreme but I will always fight for humanity's right to exist. In a universe of Worldkillers and deathly viruses more than ever I see a need for us to be able to defend ourselves. _

_ Zor-El was a ruthless man. As you see yourself in Supergirl I see myself in him. I meant it when I said he would have unleashed those beasts on us in an instant. He threatened to enslave me and to work on restoring all of Argo City but I offered him his daughter, Kara, instead. I created diseases and weapons that he could use on Kryptonians so that he could take her back. Perhaps it's immoral, but it’s safest this way, believe me Lena. _

_ I fear for the day he comes for her if she decides she does not want to stay in Argo City. He will tear the world asunder and I will have been right. Despite what you think I do not enjoy being right. Not with these matters, at least. _

_ Love is no more moral than any other emotion. Perhaps it is the most destructive of all. I've spent a lot of time in this cell, alone with my thoughts. People rarely start wars in the name of something they hate, Lena. It is in the name of defending what they love. Zor-El is no different. I am no different. _

_ As your brother I have to say this; if he comes for her let it be. Let her go. Do not stand in his way and that may be enough for him. He may be merciful and leave Earth in peace. I've seen the ferocity of his love and he is someone who will fight for her so long as a single fragment of his being exists. _

_ I believe she is the same, unfortunately. Speaking with her reminded me of speaking with him. That, and to make you write like that she must be. It takes quite a person to make an impression on you, Lena. I only worry that Zor-El is an unstoppable force and she is an immovable object. There cannot be both. I hope for your heart’s sake that Kara Zor-El is immovable, that her feet stay planted and when he comes, for he will come, that she will not be crushed. I hope Earth is not crushed. I hope she comes back to you. I quietly hope most in this situation that she leaves and you are safe from all of this but I imagine that is not what you want. _

_ In the end I hope for the best outcome,, whatever that is. It doesn't seem enough but that's all I can do from here. I hope. I’ve begun to see value in it too, as stupid as it sounds. _

_ Please write again soon. I miss you incredibly. Twenty years has not been enough time. There's so much I would do differently if I could do it all again. I know why I did the things I did but I never thought it would come at the cost of you. I hope you can forgive me for abandoning you to the world. I hope for a better tomorrow. I hope Kara Zor-El does not burn you. I hope. _

_ Endless love, _

_ Lex _

****


	15. A Future for Krypton

2.37am. That was when the sky lit up with shooting stars. Kara watched on, dread filling her gut, as the lights brightened rather than fading away. As a child she had dreamt of being rescued from Earth, her parents coming to collect her and tell her Krypton had survived. Kara had wished that so fiercely that now she wondered if the universe had heard her. Maybe it listened to the cries of a lonely twelve year old girl and decided to spin that energy through space and time.

Was Kara doomed to always wander through life watching her loved ones die? Was she doomed to live and live and live and live?

A hand touched her shoulder, drawing her mind back to earth. She turned to its owner, Lena, and looked into eyes that seemed to be able to see right through her.

"You can do this, Kara. We can do this."

Kara forced a smile, the emblem on her chest lending some gravity and sincerity to it. The cure had taken a few hours to take effect but Kara had not tested any of her powers beyond vision and hearing since then. Still here she was, suited up and ready to face an army of undead robots, "We can do this."

Kara tried not to doubt. She pushed the thoughts from her head and used the uncertainty in her gut to muster courage. She steeled herself, bracing herself as if she was about to head into a hurricane. Every muscle in her body was tensed when Lena's voice brought her back again.

"Come back to us, Kara." Kara must have looked a certain way because Lena repeated it, slowly sounding out every word, "Come back to us. When it's done."

Kara nodded, perhaps shirking off what Lena was saying in an assuming way, "Yeah of course."

Alex looked at Kara too, now. Kara recognised the look from the moment before she had been shown the Worldkillers for the first time.  _ Guys, I can handle this. _ Her own words echoed in her head.

Kara had been pretty blasé then too. But this was different. She would be able to handle her emotions. Or so she told herself.

Lena surprised her, she had a knack for that lately, and pulled Kara to the side, their backs to Alex now. She had so many words to say, Kara could see it in her face, but nothing came out. Lena’s hands found Kara’s hair and tucked it behind her hair. A sad smile crossed her lips and she sighed softly, as if the weight of the world was forcing her to her knees but she had no choice but to stand.

The kiss was short and tender. Lena’s lips pressed against Kara’s hard enough to settle some of the creeping doubt in her gut, soft enough to make her miss them when they were gone.

“Come back. I mean it.”

Kara guessed there was more to it than Lena was saying but now was not the time to pry. Kara just nodded, her eyes locked with Lena’s. When Kara kissed Lena again the woman allowed her fear to surface. The kiss was desperate. Lena’s hands now gripped Kara’s face tightly, clawing at her skin in an attempt to keep her there.

Kara let herself be held by Lena. She let Lena screw her face up tight, almost in a scowl as she pulled away. She didn’t dare react to the glistening in Lena’s eyes as tears threatened to fall down her face. She didn’t make empty promises. Not to Lena.

The first ship landed with a crash roughly fifty kilometers away but Kara heard it. Outside of the National City limits the DEO were using anti-aircraft machinery in an attempt to blow the ships out of the sky. They were successful enough. The robots still survived, though. Most of them, at least.

Kara took off, pulling away from Lena without saying goodbye to either her or Alex. She knew the conversation would be too hard and perhaps if she didn’t say goodbye then she wouldn’t really be leaving.

Kara found herself brawling with three robots mid-air. Despite government warnings for all citizens to stay indoors Kara could see a crowd of people gathering on the ground below. They yelled out her name. Cheered her on when she landed a punch. Gasped in fear when she received one back.

_ "Supergirl our machines aren't doing anything. It looks like their skin is bulletproof like yours." _

Kara gritted her teeth. Lex was a clever man but Kara's father specialised in weaponry. She wondered if that was why it took him so long to come after her. Was he building his army? Weaving their leftover skin back to flawlessness so that they could absorb the yellow sun?

They were still robots underneath. There had to be a way.

"I don't suppose you kept any of that Kryptonite in a secret safe somewhere in National City, huh J'onn?"

_ "Blame your cousin, Supergirl." _

Kara ducked and dodged before a swift punch planted in her gut. Looking up at the robot she yelled, fire shooting from her eyes as she did.

The smell of burning flesh was not a pleasant one.

"J'onn see if you can burn their skin off. My heat vision just took a chunk off-" duck, weave, weave, punch, weave, kick-

" _ And then what?" _

"I'll let you know!"

Kara worked out after some trial and error that she could go for sensitive areas like the eyes or ears - places where the skin opened into the body (they were still robots underneath, after all). Once it began to burn it would boil from underneath and the skin would fall off like sheets. She managed to burn off enough flesh that she could land a punch on the metal beneath it. Her fist went straight through, a computer of sorts running in the skull of the monster. Once she had broken that the body fell from the sky. Kara watched as it fell, her blood now boiling with hope.

One down. What was it? A thousand to go?

"J'onn I just killed one. Once you get rid of the skin just get to the computer in their head and they’ll drop."

" _ Good job Supergirl. _ "

Kara started on the second, her movements more confident and timed. Her confidence made her brazen and an elbow connected with her face. She could taste blood.

When the second robot fell Kara wasted no time watching its descent. She went straight for the third, her hands grasping it around its neck and she  _ burned _ . She burned until she bore a hole straight through its skull.

The feeling of victory was fleeting. When Kara cast her eyes up the sky was littered with space pods hanging in stasis. She began to listen. She began to see. They were charging through the streets, they tore apart cars and there was so many screams of terror and pain.

Kara felt her emotion rise again and she took off, searching for the first robot she could find. Her eyes locked on and her fists curled up. Launching herself forwards she-

" _ Supergirl...he found the Worldkillers. He...God, Kara...he...Go to Alex. Protect her, please, God, protect her. _ "

"J'onn?" Her voice came out weak. Confused.

" _ He's going after her. Her and Lena. Please Kara you need to stop him. _ "

Kara looked to the robots below and her hands began to tremble. She wasn't sure if it was her heart or her mind that willed her to leave. Her heart pleaded for Alex and Lena's safety more than anything else. Her mind rationalised that if she could stop Zor-El then maybe she could end it all here and now. Either way leaving the people below at the mercy of ruthless machines...well...

Kara wondered if she would dream of them now too.

Kara raced back to her apartment. She was still approaching when she saw the Worldkillers, flesh and blood and so very alive. The sight of them set fear and reverence coursing through her body. It replaced hope. Replaced courage. All she knew was that she had to do it anyway. She had to try. Not for Supergirl. Not for the House of El. Not for Kara Danvers, Kara Zor-El or even National City.

She had to do it for Alex. She had to do it for Lena. She couldn't let her own fear endanger them.

Kara landed on her balcony. The Worldkillers had been watching her but they had not attacked. When Kara entered her living room her eyes met Lena's first.

She was brave; her fear showing but not dulling the ferocity in her face.

Lena and Alex were both bound and guarded by two Kryptonian robots each. Zor-El stood between them, self-satisfied and proud. Alura stood to his side and Kara could not read her face at all. Pride? Or apathy?

<Kara, my beautiful daughter->

<Let them go.>

Zor-El's face dropped ever so slightly, disappointment surfacing once again. <Kara we can be a family again. Don't you want that?>

"Let them go!" Kara repeated, in English now. Driving the point home.

<Are you my daughter or not?! That symbol on your chest suggests you are but you do not act like her! A  _ human _ -lover. I had not realised how far you had fallen but I have watched you for weeks. I thought that you would come to your senses and realise where you belonged. I believed that if I came for you then you would realise who your true family is. Apparently you'll need a stronger reminder->

Alura spoke suddenly, her voice soft but desperate. She spoke in English, words coming out of her mouth awkwardly as she made her way around the sounds.

"Kara please. Come back to Argo City peacefully. It will be best if you do. For everyone."

Kara was taken aback but her words left her without thought, "I can't." She was beginning to plead, beginning to feel like a child again. They may be metal and wires but  _ they had the mind of her parents.  _ If they loved her they would see what this did to her. Surely they were more than just the monsters Lex created. They had to be. "This is my  _ home _ . Mother, Father please listen to me. I would have given anything to reverse what had been done to Krypton but it has been done."

Kara spoke Kryptonian now, wondering if it would help to quell her father's rage.

<They took me in as family. They gave me a home, a place to feel safe when you and Krypton were taken from me. Don’t take this from me as well. I couldn’t survive that. I love this city as I loved Argo City. I love my family here as I loved you. This is where you sent me. This is how it was meant to happen.>

Silence filled the room. Growing up Kara had always felt that Zor-El was a tall man. He loomed over her so. She met him eye-to-eye now, though. If anything she stood above him, slightly taller, her shoulders slightly broader. Alura, her mother, was never one to be timid yet she shied behind him still. She was as smart as she was invested in self-preservation; Kara could only imagine how fearsome Zor-El must be to spend every moment with day in, day out in this sort of state.

Zor-El pulled from his boots a metal rod that emitted the faintest shimmer of red. His words were short and stern when he spoke but loud enough that the room could hear.

<I take no pleasure in this, Kara. But it must be done.> As he held out the rod Kara felt the Worldkillers outside begin to move. She turned to look at them and now they descended into the city. Her chest tightened and her eyes turned back to her father. <I will destroy National City. As you watch it burn so will your love for it. The Worldkillers are indestructible. I suggest you find somewhere comfortable to watch them earn their title, my daughter. We will see each other again when you’re willing to cooperate.>

<No!> Kara launched forwards, desperate, and tried to reach for the control rod. The Kryptonian guards grabbed her and threw her to the ground but she tried again, <No! No, no, no. Please, please Father I beg you do not do this. Do not destroy National City, please I’ll do anything. I’ll come with you, plea-…>

<Enough talking, my daughter. It is too late. You need this. You need to be cleansed of them. It is the only way my daughter will come back to me. It will be done.>

Kara struggled against the guards but they pinned her hard. She yelled and shot fire from her eyes, burning their skin again, thrashing against their arms. In brief moments amidst the chaos she heard her parents leaving, taking Alex and Lena with them. She heard their voices calling out to her, they said her name. They both made promises that they were unlikely going to be able to keep. Still, Kara fought for them. She was weak but she fought.

Kara tore apart one of the robot’s heads. Loose shrapnel flew across her apartment but she was already working her way through the second robot. Her body was numb, her limbs swelling as blood pooled itself in her muscles to help them work. Kara pulled down the monster’s jaw and rammed her fist up into his brain through his mouth. The third was pressing his forearm against her throat before she got much further. As her vision went black her fingers finally found a grip on his head and she jerked it to the side, her foot finding the inside of his hip and kicking up so that he flew off in one swift motion.

Kara pinned him to the ground with her own forearm and made quick work of the rest of him. The final one was the hardest. Her body was weak and slow. The fact she had used so much of her heat vision meant her stores of the yellow sun’s radiation were low. Still, what else could she do but fight?

Kara received a few hits but she was used to that. She gritted her teeth and threw herself at the final grunt. Barreling into the robot at the speed she had sent them both through the air. Kara made a vague effort to slow them down so she didn’t ruin her own apartment more than it already had been. Once they were both on the floor though it was a rough wrestling match.

Kara’s mind flashed a picture of Lena’s beautiful wide grin and Alex’s warm smile in front of her eyes. Yellow sun or not that was enough to give her the power to overpower the remaining robot. She held them still and let out a cry of desperation. With it the skin fell away. The metal sparked and arced up to her. Her hands were swinging at his head long after there was nothing left to really hit.

As the room fell silent Kara listened to the sound of her own heart pounding. She listened to the sound of her breathing, ragged but steady.

Kara closed her eyes.

_ Screaming _ . There was screaming.

A minute passed and Kara realised it wasn’t a dream. Her eyes shot open and without reservation she sprinted to her balcony. She climbed up into the air to look for them. The Worldkillers, Zor-El, Lena, Alex,  _ anything _ .

Once at the apex of the CatCo building Kara saw National City lay bare in front of her. Her breath caught. Her hands began to tremble.

National City was burning. Her dream had come to life. Pods descended from the sky and Kara could see and hear people scrambling in the streets, monsters terrorizing and destroying anything in their path. 

Fear was now running full course through her body. It would have been easy to disappear, if she was honest. It would have been easy to run away. Maybe make it to another planet, even. He wouldn’t find her there. She could rebuild a life and live in peace. Why did the whole world rest on her shoulders? It was a mistake to run from him in the first place. She didn’t realise it would escalate to this. Earth could have been saved. Now it was too late. She couldn’t stop the Worldkillers. She couldn’t stop all of these Kryptonian robots. Not this many.

It would have been easier, maybe even smarter to turn away.

Kara’s body was racked with fear. Her mind fought, though. She fought. She forced herself to move down into the city of her nightmares. She looked for the Worldkillers, desperate to do what she could to stop them. Or maybe die trying.

Kara found them fairly quickly. There was something to be said about throwing herself into the fray when the very sight of them made her hair stand on end. She felt weak. Her fine motor skills and higher brain function were shot. If she were honest she wouldn’t even be able to say for certain that her super strength was still there. She was surprised she hadn’t fallen from the sky.

Kara took the Worldkillers by surprise, at least, and at speed. She crashed into the grey-skinned leader first. Her arms swung wildly and with a lack of skill that would make Alex writhe. Some hits landed by virtue of sheer, dumb luck but it seemed to do nothing beyond annoy the creature.

It hadn’t occurred to Kara to strategize. She was certain if Lena was there she’d have some bright idea from the encyclopaedic recollection of Lex’s notes. She was certain if Alex was there she would be able to study them for a weakness. Instead it was her. Kara Zor-El. Her biggest claim to fame was borrowed superpowers from the yellow sun and crazed parents that were going to destroy the world.

Kara typically wasn’t one for self-doubt. She wasn’t one to be pessimistic or negative. She hated self-degradation because she had suffered enough bullying at the hands of others without having to worry about the insults coming from herself. She could not see a way out, though. Not from this. She couldn’t see an end point where she saved the day and she would have Lena and Alex and National City.

As Kara was torn from the creature by the strange reptilian Worldkiller she couldn’t help but wonder if her failure was a reflection of who she was as a person. She’d been brash and optimistic when she refused to go back to Argo City. Maybe some pliancy and she could have avoided the destruction of everything she loved. Sure, at the price of her freedom, but that would be enough.

Kara struggled against the creature’s hold as it tried to poison her. Its stingers couldn’t penetrate her skin, at least, but its grip still choked the air from her. Kara reflected on her arrogance. After all, even now she’d rushed into the fight. She’d seen no other way but surely there had to be. The trouble with reality was there were no right answers. The world was grey and Kara was growing tired of grey. She wished it was easy. Things hadn’t been easy since that first nightmare so many months ago.

Kara was torn from the grip of the reptile by the beastly sabre-tooth tiger. In a last-ditch effort she tried to use her freeze breath and it seemed to have some effect. The monster was blinded briefly and thrashed about. Kara used it as a chance to escape the loosened grip. It didn’t last long before she was struck down from behind. Kara crashed into the ground and it  _ hurt _ . She tasted blood, felt it pouring from her mouth as she rolled onto her back and looked up.

The night sky was pitch black. There were no stars out, only the lights of the city illuminating the streets. The silhouettes of the worldkillers was as ominous as their existence. At least for Kara at that moment on the ground.

The insect-creature approached her, threatening to take her. She shouted, her throat burning as she did, and heat shot from her eyes. The heat vision did nothing to slow its approach. As the last of Kara’s energy faded and the beams of heat dissipated with it she felt the familiar sting of tears trailing down her face. The other creatures joined the first, now. Kara was gasping for air as they did.

In her final moments of consciousness Kara’s thoughts turned to Alex and Lena. Through her cluttered recollection of all the lives that had touched her they stood out the most. 

Alex had been there from the beginning and she was the strongest person Kara had ever known. When Kara was scared Alex was brave. When Kara was weak Alex was strong. Alex taught her how to skip stones and play card games. She’d taught Kara how to tie her laces and, when they were young, she patiently took Kara around the zoo. She taught her everything she knew about every single animal they came across. It was a silly thing to be remembering in the moments before what Kara assumed would be her last moments of freedom but it brought a smile to her heart. 

Alex, more than anyone, had taught her that if you had power you needed to use it for good. She’d taught her that though humans were fragile, they were beautiful. They were kind. And patient. And they were willing to protect and fight for those they loved.

Darkness enveloped Kara’s vision. The world went quiet but she felt herself breathing. Time slowed and stretched out in front of her. Her surroundings echoed the feel of the Phantom Zone. It echoed the dreams she had in her stasis there. Time was nonexistent yet inexplicably long. 

In her head she saw Lena. Though she had not known Lena for long she could admit, in the darkness, that perhaps it felt as though their destinies were intertwined. They were two sides of the same coin. Orphans abandoned to the world. Believers who wanted more than the legacy carved for them. Fighters who fought even when there seemed to be nothing left to fight for.

It was with that thought that Kara finally slipped into unconsciousness. Though her mind had pushed and pushed that night, fighting when she had fear and no strength, finally her body won. Her body yielded and took with it her last ray of hope. 

She’d failed.


	16. Immovable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dedicated to my dumbass friend who is stressed about whether or not this story will have a happy ending  
> I love your comments btw guys <3 seriously I'll keep saying it

Lena had faced many things in her short existence. She’d been dealt a lot of poor hands. She had a tendency to be pessimistic. She had a tendency to be cold and pushy. Lex, at some point in her life, had craftily convinced her that it was a byproduct of intellectual greatness rather than a byproduct of their dysfunctional family. As great as Lex was he could be pretty obtuse.

Lena was intellectual, though. She could most likely calculate the probability of National City’s destruction at the hands of Zor-El if you gave her the opportunity. If she had to give a rough estimate at that moment, though, she would have said 99%.

(Lena was a pessimist but 100% rarely existed in statistic probability. There were always outliers.)

While Lena had faced many things and been dealt a lot of poor hands she had managed to overcome. So far, at least.

She was nothing if not stubborn and she had overcome everything else in her life so far, so why not this too?

Lena and Alex were bound up in a ship that floated several hundred feet above the cityscape. Lena was never a fan of flying and the fact she had full view of the city below didn’t help. Zor-El had spoken in broken English to the pair, explaining that he wanted them to watch their city burn as Kara tried to stop it.

In true super-villain fashion he then proceeded to explain how he would kill them in front of Kara. How he would make it slow and painful so that Kara would be able to hear them scream.

Lena would have doubted that this man was Kara’s father if it were not for their uncanny likeness. His eyes, while slightly more aged, were that clear crystal blue of the ocean in the way that Kara Zor-El’s eyes were. His brows arched and dug, his lips curled into a snarl and it was here that Lena saw most of the resemblance. Alex saw it too, Lena knew, because her face faltered and she had no fiery comeback for his words.

Not much time passed after Zor-El left that Lena’s fear really settled into her bones. Lena hated being suspended in air in general, let alone whilst watching the streets below burn. She wished she could see Kara from where she was being held. She wished that a flash of red and blue would appear in the window, crash through and then sweep away all the metal and cruelty before rescuing her. They would float to the ground as the pods ascended back into the depths of space. National City would be repaired. All would be well.

But Lena was a pessimist. Or at the very least a realist. She knew that wasn’t coming.

What Lena didn’t expect, though, was for the door to slide open behind her to reveal Alura. Kara’s mother.

Alura’s accent was less thick than Zor-El’s. If Lena was feeling particularly fantastically-inclined she would have assumed Alura sought to negotiate peace with Kara and sort it out in a diplomatic way. One way to do that would be to understand and appeal to the culture that Kara had spent now half her life in. But Lena wasn’t really in the position to place too much faith in her musings.

“Lena Luthor may I speak with you?”

Alex turned her head, straining against her chains, and gave Lena a look of caution.

“I don’t suppose I have a choice. There’s not exactly any way I can leave.”

Alura stepped directly in front of Lena, her back to the destruction of National City. Her hands were folded in front of her and her eyes were piercing in the same way that Kara Danvers’ eyes were piercing. It was that nauseatingly hopeful, trusting look that the reporter would give when she spoke of a better, brighter future for humankind.

“You and...Alex Danvers.” She turned to Alex and offered a nod of respect, “You were the human that Kara grew up with.” Alura turned back to Lena and said, “She must care for you both a great deal.”

Lena raised her eyebrows as she met Alura’s stare. She was, after all, nothing if not stubborn and she would not back down because she was bound up and probably facing death.

“Kara cares a great deal for many people.”

Alura nodded, a small smile gracing her lips, “She does. She has the heart of a hero.”

Lena narrowed her eyes and fiercely scanned the woman’s face for a hint of what she was getting at, “I’m guessing you didn’t come here to tell me that.”

Alura’s smile remained unchanged as she continued, “No, I did not. I came here to ask you a question, actually.”

“Ask away.” Lena was stern in her tone. Despite having no-where in particular to be she had a feeling her time was short and she wasn’t keen to spend her last moments talking to Kara’s mother when Kara herself could be in trouble. Or worse, crying somewhere, alone as she watched National City burn.

Lena still couldn’t get the image of Kara struggling against those Kryptonian robots out of her head. The desperation and fear in her voice moments before the Worldkillers came to life and the Kryptonians attacked shredded something inside of Lena.

“Does Kara miss Argo City? Does she want to come back?”

Lena’s temper was short. Short enough that she considered yelling at Alura about  _ of course she doesn’t want to go - she would have stayed in Argo City in the first place if sh- _

No, Lena wouldn’t do that. Kara deserved better explanation than that.

“Kara misses Krypton every day.” Alura’s eyes lit up. “She told me about her nightmares when she first came to Earth, how Krypton’s destruction haunted her.” Lena caught Alex shifting in the corner of her eye.

“Why did she not stay with us?”

For Lena that was a harder question to answer than it was. Alex could have told Alura, she could have rattled off endless reasons and fought for Kara with emotion. Lena wished she would. For Lena that was new territory and honestly she saw no reason for Kara to  _ not _ choose Krypton on both a slightly alien-phobic front and as an orphan who, too, had lost a loving family in favour of a strange environment.

Alex finally spoke when Lena could not say anything, “She has a family here too, now.” Alex looked crazed as if she was being let loose in a fighting pit. Her words were steely and her face stone when she spoke, “She’s _my_ _sister_.”

“Sister? You are not her sister at all. Why does she not come back with us? We are her real family. She is not like you humans. She is more than that. She is not respected by the humans. They lock her up, tear her down. She is more than that.”

At the risk of devolving into a discussion about the legitimacy of artificial intelligence with an artificial intelligence Lena decided to forego the ‘you’re not her real family’ discussion, instead favouring a more empathy-inducing approach.

“Kara is not human, no. She knows she’s not, either. And no, there’s a great deal of people who mistrust Kara and her cousin. I certainly used to. But also what makes you think she’ll be happy in Argo City when you come here, try to take her and when she says no you kill everyone that she loves?”

Perhaps empathy-inducing was the wrong phrase. Perhaps her frustration seeped to the surface and Alex’s emotions had ignited her own. Either way it certainly seemed to speak to Alura. Perhaps Kryptonians were as confused by emotions as Lena was.

“She will be happy with her family.”

“You  _ died _ !” Alex was crumbling under the weight of her own words. “Kara grieved for you! For  _ years _ . I lay awake with her every night for months to help her with her nightmares! She moved on, Alura. She had to. You were dead.

“Kara got a new family. We looked after her and showed her about our world even when her own  _ cousin _ wouldn’t...I would do  _ anything _ for Kara. She doesn’t want Argo City. Not like this. Losing Earth is going to crush her just like losing Krypton crushed her.” Tears formed at Alex’s eyes and she scowled at it, blinking them away furiously, “I just know it’ll be worse this time because she won’t be able to trust you. She won’t be able to find a family again. She’ll be alone. And I just-...” Alex’s voice disappeared halfway through the word. She held her eyes closed for a moment, face screwed up and the tears now started to pour from her face, “she doesn’t deserve it. She deserves so much more.”

As Alex sobbed and hiccupped Lena found herself at a loss for words. Alura seemed to be the same.

Minutes passed. The room quietened. Lena was the first to speak again.

“Alura if you love Kara as much as I imagine a mother should then isn’t it in your best interests to make sure she’s happy? Convince Zor-El to let her stay on Earth, let her share her life here. Kara doesn’t want this. She never wanted any of this. She won’t come back to you with open arms whether you destroy Earth or not. If you do destroy Earth, though, if you destroy National City then she’ll be less your daughter and more a ghost of her former self. This city means everything to her. It is her whole world.”

Alura sunk into herself. Lena couldn’t help but wonder if Lex truly had no influence on his creations. Were these really just Kryptonians brought back to life? Well, she reasoned, it’s not like Lex would have built robots that dedicated themselves to destroying Earth. If these were his creations he would have thought of  _ that _ fail-safe.

After several more minutes of silence Alex’s tears had finally dried. Alura finally found her words.

“Lena Luthor…” Her accent sounded like Kara for a moment. The way Kara said her name when she spoke too quickly, “I see why you mean a lot to Kara. I trust that you will do what needs to be done when the time comes for Kara to leave us.”  _ Us? _ Alura answered Lena’s internal question with a pursing of her lips, “I know I will. Kara is the most important thing to me. I do not want to see her upset. Unfortunately I do not see a future that Zor-El will allow where she is not upset.”

“Wait…” Alex interrupted, “What are you saying?”

Alura smiled and turned to face Alex, “I believe that you love Kara like a sister. She would have been very fortunate to have a companion such as yourself on Krypton. I know, first hand, what it is like to lose a sister-...”

“What are you on about?” Alex interrupted again, sharper.

“Kara will not be happy with us. I see that now. I see that she must stay with Earth and share its fate as she shared her life. It is where we sent her, after all. This is how it was meant to be.”

Alex shook her head, “You’re not-...” Tears sprung into her eyes again, “You’re not going to kill Kara.”

Alura shook her head, still smiling softly, “No. Of course not. No mother should ever cause harm to their child.” She turned back to Lena, “You have a strong mind, though. And you can see what is best for Kara.” She took a deep breath, almost as if she needed it, as if her body wasn’t powered by machines and gears, “Do not underestimate how much this pains me. I have died once already but I cannot imagine anything more painful than a life without Kara-...”

“And yet you’re asking me to  _ kill _ her?” Lena scoffed. She may have felt like her own upbringing left a lot to be desired but she had more respect for Kara turning out the way she did if  _ this _ was the sort of reasoning Kryptonians used.

Alura nodded firmly in response. She looked at Lena strangely, as if remembering something long-forgotten.

“Tell me, Lena Luthor. What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?”

Lena felt herself grow cold. Her incredulity dissipated. Unease settled over the entire room like something sinister. Like Lex was there, watching her and shaking his head;  _ I was right. I do not enjoy being right _ .

“There can only be one.” Lena replied. Her voice breaking as she did.

Alura nodded again, her smile widening now, “I know Zor-El very well. More now than I did before our death. I know Kara very well, too. I have known her since I held her in my arms as a babe. Zor-El is unstoppable. Kara is movable. She bends. She loves too much to not bend.” Alura now turned to look at the city below them, her voice growing louder to fill the room, “Kara will bend and she will wither. She will not live and she will not die. That is a slower, more unjust kind of death. It is the sentence we gave to prisoners on Fort Razz. She deserves a kinder end to her short and unfairly cruel existence. I love her too much to not give her that.”

Lena had no words. She had no words when Alura went to her and pressed her hand into Lena’s shoulder. She had no words when Alura said, softly, “I will do my part. I trust you will do yours.”


	17. Unstoppable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YOUR COMMENTS GUYS! You're killing me!! (in the best way)  
> Not going to lie, though, I'm sat here like this  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jgflCE7zRpc  
> one more chapter then an epilogue to go!! :) (You'll get both at the same time!)  
> also stay safe if you're going to the marches guys!!! :) :)

Kara woke the same way she fell unconscious. She was engulfed in black and she only heard her rasping breaths. She felt her heartbeat pounding against her chest, too. Slow. Steady. Certain.

She was cold, too.

It was so cold.

Kara opened her eyes and found herself staring at Kryptonian glyphs. For a moment her heart sank and she feared the worst. Was she on Argo City already? Was Earth gone?

Bolting upright she felt the world spin around her. Her vision went black again briefly and she reached out to steady herself.

Kara had been sprawled on the floor of what looked like one of the pods her father had brought to Earth. Once her vision returned she turned to look out to National City below her. It was still recognisable but Kara could see people being herded into the streets by Kryptonian robots. They were pooling together, gathering in the city centre for something sinister.

<Kara, you are awake.>

Kara whipped her head around to face the voice. Her father stood in the entrance as looming as he had been when Kara was a child. She pushed herself to her feet only to stumble and collapse back onto her knees. She was weak. She felt human, too. Vulnerable.

<Let them go, Father. Take me and let them be. Please.>

Zor-El was smiling, none of his residual anger showing as he spoke.

<No, Kara. It will be done. You must understand that. You will, in time.> He walked to her and offered his hand out to her to help her stand. <We will be a family again, Kara. Nothing will stop us.>

Kara looked back out to National City. The night sky was still encasing National City in a shadowy gloom. The Worldkillers hovered above the city center, glowing with their own energy and casting a garish light on the people below.

She had failed.

<Come, Kara. You can bid your friends one last farewell. I will give you that, at your mother’s request.>

Kara turned her head to Zor-El once more and eyed him with caution.

<My friends?>

<Lena Luthor and Alex Danvers. We still have them. We are about to send them down to join the rest of them.>

Kara forced herself to her feet at the mention of them, refusing her father’s hand of assistance. He did not react and seemed nonchalant as he made his way back to the entrance.

Kara followed, hobbling more than anything, clutching her side from Rao knows what kind of injury. Guards followed them, two in front and two behind, from the moment they left the room.

The pair didn’t have to travel far, for that Kara was thankful. At the room’s entrance Kara forced herself upright and proud in preparation for seeing Lena and Alex. Once through the door the guards obscured the view of the room. As Zor-El moved they followed, finally allowing Kara to see them...Alex and Lena. The very sight of them brought tears to Kara’s eyes. They were safe, at least. Unharmed. For now.

“Lena...Alex...I-...I’m so sorry.”

Alura was there too, standing at the edge of the room and watching on with an air of trepidation. Kara could not bother to pay her heed. Not when everything hurt; her heart the most.

As Kara attempted to make her way to the pair she winced and faltered. Her muscles gave way and she ended up on her knees again, panting through the pain.

Alura moved silently through the room towards Alex. Kara pulled her head up to watch her, scared that every moment could be the last that she saw them alive.

A single beam of light shot through the room, morning’s first ray streaking across the floor and slowly crawling towards Kara.

Alura undid the lock that bound Alex up and her sister raced to her, holding her just as the yellow sun’s light reached her body and began to thaw the cold from her. Or maybe it was Alex’s hug that did that.

Alex was whispering words of comfort, holding Kara tighter than she ever remembered being held and by the way Alex was breathing Kara was convinced she had started crying.

“Kara run. Just run. Leave here, please leave here.”

Kara had not even noticed Alura undoing Lena’s bindings until she felt another pair of arms wrap around her. A soft kiss was placed on her head. Alex began to sob now, not hiding her grief.

When Alex and Lena pulled back slightly the room was now engulfed in a brilliant yellow. Kara could not help but look across to the sunrise. It was yellow, not the damning red it had been for so long through the winter.

Spring was coming.

This couldn’t be the end.

Kara couldn’t leave like this.

Kara turned back to Lena and Alex. Perhaps it was the sun, perhaps it was looking into their eyes but Kara felt some hope sprout in her once again. She felt her pains turn to ache and her trembling muscles hardened once more.

Maybe this wouldn’t be the end.

“Kara…” Lena said.

No more words followed. Not immediately, at least.

Alex stood and stepped back, trembling so violently Kara thought she might collapse.

Before Kara could settle Alex, though, Lena’s hands wrapped around the back of Kara’s neck. Soft fingers ran through her hair and made her shudder. Kara’s eyes closed and Lena pulled the pair closer together. Their lips met and Kara relaxed herself. She let herself fall into Lena’s arms as she was pulled there and she felt defenseless and protected all in one.

Lena pulled back from the kiss for a moment and looked into Kara’s eyes, barely inches between them, “I need you to be Supergirl right now, Kara. I need you to want to save us otherwise-...” Lena’s voice caught and oh, Kara wanted to kiss away her worry.

Lena leant back in and pressed her lips to Kara’s again briefly. Pulling back once more she moved to place her lips to Kara’s neck, just below her ear, and whispered, “Trust me, Kara. Please just trust me like you said you do.”

Without any other warning Kara felt a burning through her gut. She gasped for air as pain shot through her like electricity and looked down. Lena did not move, refusing to uncover the source of the pain. Kara turned and looked at Lena’s face for some sort of explanation but nothing came, tears were streaming down her cheeks.

All Kara could hear was a roaring yell and then Lena was torn back. In her peripheries Kara could see the guards go for Alex too, pinning her to the ground. Kara had barely a second to look down at her gut to where a glowing green blade was lodged before she heard a strangled cry from Lena.

Pain was still coursing through Kara’s body when she looked across to Lena. She was being held in the air by Zor-El and his eyes, were they not silicone and glass, would have torn Lena to pieces with fire.

Lena desperately grasped at his hands, struggling to pull at his grip of steel as she went a deep shade of red and purple. Kara grabbed the blade of kryptonite and her hand began to burn. Her eyes locked onto it and she saw the LuthorCorp emblem engraved in its belly. She screamed and writhed in pain as she tore it out of herself. That was enough to get Zor-El to drop Lena in a heap on the floor. He turned to Kara, his eyes falling to her gut which was gaping and oozing out blood.

Kara, kryptonian blade still in hand, met Zor-El’s eyes with her own. He knelt down to her and helplessly packed pressure onto her wound. With his proximity realisation spread over Kara. She looked to Lena who was still gasping for air. Lena who couldn’t take her eyes off of Kara. Lena who had just risked her own life to-...

<One last time, Father. Please. Let them go.>

<No!> Zor-El spat. <No I will make them  _ pay _ !>

Kara felt her heart sink. This was one of those moments that replicated her time in the Phantom Zone. She felt as if she could see into the future, briefly. It’s what she’d been afraid of when she broke down to Alex after Zor-El had contacted her. Perhaps it was memories from her time spent there, that’s what she’d feared. The closest she could ever come to explaining the feeling was ‘deja vu’. Kara felt as if she’d lived it already. As if she’d seen this happen before and now she was only waiting for it to come to pass.

<I’m sorry, Father.>

Kara gritted her teeth and yelled, plunging the blade through his chest. The blade slipped right past his impenetrable skin. It cut through his Kryptonian blood vessels and, almost like he was a creature of flesh and bones, he began to bleed over Kara, flooding her with red and warmth.

Kara felt her vision start to fade once more. Her hand was now numb to the Kryptonite but she felt the pain eat up her arm.

<Kara…> Zor-El grabbed onto the blade with one hand and the skin began to boil at the contact. The other hand he moved to rest on top of Kara’s unaffected hand, his fingers intertwining with hers. He was struggling. His head started jerking robotically along with his chest. <All I ever wanted was for us to be a family again. I wanted you to be safe. Don’t you see?>

<Father you will always be my family but this is my home now. If you taught me one thing it was that you must give everything you can for the ones you love.> She reached up with her good hand and touched his face, she felt she was slowly slipping away as he was too so she made her words count. <You taught me that. It is what makes me who I am and I am proud of that.> Kara closed her eyes and breathed. Slow. Steady. Certain. Her heart was still beating but it was beginning to slow as less and less blood returned to it. <But blood bonds us all. Kryptonian or not. Blood bonds us all.>

The back of Kara’s eyelids were gold for a brief moment as the sun rose high enough to hit the whole room. She felt Zor-El collapse to the side of her and the burning was pulled from her hand. A heavy pressure settled over her body. 

Murmurs were all she heard as her world faded back to darkness once more. Through the fog she could discern one voice. A small but strong voice.

All it said was, “Come back to us, Kara. Make sure you come back to us. Please.”


	18. The Last Daughter of Krypton

Lena held Kara in her arms for a moment. She pressed another kiss to her lips, quick and desperate, “Come back to us, Kara. Make sure you come back to us. Please.”

Lena, now covered in Kryptonian blood, then turned to the body of Zor-El. One of the Kryptonian robots had left Alex and was moving towards Lena so she searched frantically for the control rod Zor-El had held in his hands back in Kara’s apartment.

Just as the robot closed in and reached for Lena it was pulled back and onto the ground. Lena took a moment to watch as Alura pulled the robot into a locking hold, providing in skill what she lacked in strength.

“Lena Luthor...do what you must.”

Lena’s hands were shaking as continued her search. Alex was yelling and the robot was fighting against Alura now too.

Lena found the control rod beneath the folds of his robes. She held it and felt its power emanate through her. The Worldkillers...she could see what they saw. She saw sprawling masses of people, tired and teary as the sun rose on their city.

The Kryptonian robots guarded them, ensuring compliance. There were bodies, too.

_ God _ .

Lena closed her eyes and willed the Worldkillers to move. She saw the crowd startle below them as they did.

_ Kill the Kryptonians. Kill them all. _

The Worldkillers moved once more. This time they advanced on the Kryptonians that littered the streets and skies. Lena watched, almost in a trance, as the creatures were torn from the skies.

The Kryptonians converged on the Worldkillers in a bid to stop them but their attempts were useless. Steel and blood rained on the people below, horrified screams now howling through the morning air.

The humans ran when they realised the robots’ attention was turned on the four monsters in the sky. They scattered and scurried into buildings and alleyways, desperate to escape their clutches.

Lena returned her attention to her own surroundings when the Kryptonians burst through the glass window and joined their brethren below. Alura remained and she joined Lena at Kara’s side. Alex wasn’t far behind.

The trio sat in silence around Kara and looked at her lifeless body. Alex, through tears, managed to say, “We need to get her to the DEO. We have solar panels there that replicate the yellow sun-...”

Lena’s hands were pressed against Kara’s wound to stem the bleeding, the rod now discarded in the pool of blood at her side. She was still trembling and Alex’s hands joined hers, “Kara will be okay...she’s survived worse.”

_ Has she? _

“We may have some on the ship. We took a lot of the equipment from your facility, Alex Danvers, we have placed it with the weapons given to us by Lex Luthor. Perhaps if you tell me what you are looking for I can bring it to you.”

Alex glanced between Lena and Kara but once again Lena didn’t realise. Once again she was too fixated on Kara and her face and how pale it looked in the golden sunlight.

“We don’t have much time. I’ll come with you. Lena...stay here. Stay with her, you’re doing everything you can to help Kara right now, alright?” Lena tore her eyes from Kara and looked at Alex. She didn’t want to be left alone with this but knew Alex would not leave Kara for anything less than saving her life.

“Lena you’re doing great. I just need you to stay where you are and I’ll be back soon.”

Lena nodded once, opened her mouth to say something then decided against it. She turned back to Kara and felt Alex’s hands leave her own. Blood began to seep again and so Lena pressed harder.

Lena knew there were five liters of blood in a person’s circulation. She just didn’t know what that looked like splayed across a floor.

Alex and Alura left. All that was left was Lena’s ragged breaths and the slight rise and fall of Kara’s chest. That’s all Lena could focus on now.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Lena stole a glance to the city. The humans had vanished now. All that remained were an impossibly large hoard of robots enveloping the Worldkillers who would then tear their way through to show themselves once again.

The Kryptonians were showing planning and coordination. They showed cunning and bravery. They still died, though. The Worldkillers were not even tiring.

That so easily could have been humanity.

Lena did not let herself dwell. It was done. Earth was safe.

The sun now soared above the horizon. The entire room was lighter and brighter. Lena found herself wishing she could share it with Kara. She wished Kara could see how beautiful it was this morning.

... _ all your fault _ .

_ Don’t. _

_ There was no other way. _

Lena fought tears in her eyes as she fought the tear in her heart. She rationalised and rationalised and rationalised her actions. Hurting Kara was the last thing she’d ever wanted and yet now here she lay, dying in her arms.

_...shouldn’t have risked it _ .

_ Don’t! _

_ There was no other way! _

Lena wondered if Kara would have found another way. She was certain if Kara had of been in her position then she would have devised a more cunning way to draw Zor-El into vulnerability, away from his guards and with his walls down. She was certain if Lex had of been in her position then he would have thought up a brilliant plan to get close enough to Zor-El to stab him herself without him getting suspicious. Instead it was her. Lena Luthor. Her most notable achievement was her pitiful attempt at redeeming her family’s broken legacy. Now, more than ever, she knew she could never wipe the Luthor slate clean. Not with Kara’s blood on her hands and the fact Lex’s robots had now torn apart half the city.

Even if Kara survived would she even want to still talk to Lena? Not only had she brought Kara to the brink of death but she was also responsible for the death of her father and a thousand other Kryptonian robots. Kara surely would have found some other way...

Lena panicked when water began to drop onto Kara’s body. She glanced around briefly before realising they fell from her face. 

_ Goddamn it… _

With a crash and a bang that made Lena leap from her skin Alex and Alura returned, armfuls of gear in tow. Alex raced back to Kara’s side and frantically set up equipment around the pair. Alura’s hands joined Lena’s now, pressing and holding.

“You did more than I could have hoped for, Lena Luthor.”

Lena choked on her tears but managed to reply, “She may die anyway.”

“She will not die.” Alura said simply. Her voice was so assured that Lena almost believed her, “Perhaps I was wrong. Kara is unstoppable. Zor-El was not immovable.”

“You spoke with Lex.”

Alura nodded, her eyes locked on Kara, “Lex Luthor is a brilliant man. He reminded me of Zor-El when he was younger. Unfortunately even brilliant people can be wrong.” She must have felt Lena’s hands give way so she pressed even harder against Kara’s stomach to compensate, “You remind me of Kara. She was always so hard on herself.” She smiled more to herself than anyone else but Lena caught a glimpse of it, “Even when she had done all that she could. Even when she did more than anyone ever thought possible.” Alura’s fingers pressed harder again into Lena’s, “She will come back to you. I know she will.”

Lights brightened around the trio. The panels glowed with enough brightness to make Lena wince. Alex was now hanging up bags of Kryptonian blood, no doubt leftover from Lex’s Argo City experimentation. When Alex succeeded in piercing Kara’s skin with a needle Lena wasn’t certain if that was a good sign.

Still, Alex began to run blood through the line and squeezed the bag tightly in an effort to speed its flow.

It was a long while before anyone moved. The fighting had stopped in the streets below, the Worldkillers now hanging static in the air above the pile of metal and skin they had left behind.

Lena didn’t want to touch the rod again. She didn’t want to think about them at all.

“Lena…”

Lena looked up to Alex, tired and worn. Alex was looking at Lena’s hands, though, and so Lena’s gaze followed it back.

“The blood…”

Alura took her hands away first and Lena cautiously followed suit.

Lena couldn’t convince herself entirely that lack of bleeding was a good sign. Then again, blood had been being pumped through her continuously so maybe…

_ Don’t get hopeful. Not yet _ .

Lena watched in silence as ever-so-slowly Kara’s guts began to knit themselves back together. That was the moment, if any, Lena realised she could throw up and be justified in it. She held it in her throat, though, and fought to keep it there.

The muscles began to knit back together on top of her intestines. Her skin was more resistant. 

Alex’s hand pressed to Kara’s wrist and her face lit up, “She’s got a radial pulse.”

Lena’s heart lurched inside of her.

It would still be a half hour before Kara began to stir. During that time Lena did not move, she merely held Kara’s hand and watched her. Alex moved to Kara’s other side and did the same. Alura sat herself by Kara’s head, kissed her forehead and sung soft lullabies in Kryptonian.

When Kara began to shift it happened slowly then all at once. Her hands squeezed around those that held her. Her breathing deepened. After a moment her eye’s shot open and she bolted upright, gasping for breath as if it were her first.

Kara took a few moments to orientate herself. No-one moved as she looked around the room, looked out to the city and then up to the sun.

“National City...I...Lena...you…”

Lena’s grip tightened around Kara’s hand unintentionally. Kara’s eyes were still darting around at that point but then they settled on Lena.

“Kara I’m so sorry. I never wanted to hurt you, I needed t-...”

“You did it so I could stop my father from destroying National City.”

It was a question and a statement. Kara was more asking for confirmation, Lena guessed. As ‘noble’ as the cause was, though, Lena didn’t feel like it justified her actions. It wasn’t something Lena could imagine Kara forgiving her for.

“Yes. It was the only way…”

Kara nodded, tears springing her eyes. Lena braced herself to be asked to leave. She braced herself for Kara to yell at her like Supergirl had yelled at her when she first found the Worldkillers.

Lena had no time to prepare herself when Kara pulled her into a hug.

“Thank you.” There was silence for a few seconds then Kara’s body shuddered violently. Her next words came out heavy and with a sob, “Thank you.”

Lena felt tears well up in her eyes again and she wrapped her arms around Kara. This time she would not let go. This time she would not take the moment for granted.

“I’m sorry.” Lena muttered through clothing and skin. 

She repeated it over and over again as Kara whispered back, “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

Lena felt one of Kara’s arms pull away and after a moment Alex was wedged in with the pair as well. Kara’s body was still shuddering with sobs. Her hair and clothes were matted with blood.

After some while their breathing eased and their sobs dissipated. They did not move until Alura spoke from behind Kara, “Lena Luthor controlled the Worldkillers with your father’s rod, Kara. Your home is safe, now. Zor-El...he is dead.”

Kara looked across at her father’s corpse. Lena felt her go limp at the sight of it. She moved slowly over to him and pressed her lips against his forehead. She whispered something softly in Kryptonian and then closed his eyes.

Lena grabbed the control rod and offered it to Kara. Kara stared at it for a long while and then cast her eyes out to the Worldkillers below.

“They shouldn’t exist. They should be dead like the rest of them.”

Lena said nothing. She held it steady.

Eventually Kara took it. She closed her eyes and fear crossed her face. She held such reverence for the beasts that Lena wondered if she had truly seen them in her nightmares all along.

The Worldkillers began to move. The group looked on in silence as they piled the shells of the Kryptonians slowly into pods.

“What are you doing with them?” Alex asked.

“Sending them back.” was all Kara managed.

Alura stood up. Lena wondered if she had always looked so proud. She saw Supergirl in this pose. Her shoulders were broad and her eyes were kind.

“I must return too, my daughter.”

Kara stood up and turned to her mother, “You don’t have to.”

Alura shook her head, smiling as she always did, “I must. I am on borrowed time. You do not need anymore reminders of what you have lost.”

“You could stay here...you could join us and protect Earth…”

“Kara the universe gives and takes for a reason. For you to have Earth then it must take Krypton from you. You deserve the family you have here, and as alive as I feel...I am a ghost of myself. You should not have to walk in your nightmares any longer.”

Lena saw that Kara wanted to fight. She saw that Kara wanted to hold onto something good from Argo City. One good thing, at least. But Kara was also tired. She had fought for so long. She had had so many nightmares.

Kara went to her mother and hugged her. They spoke to each other in strange whispers and Kara shed more tears.

After a while the Worldkillers came to collect Zor-El’s body. As they did Kara grabbed Alex and Lena and they descended back to National City.

Once on the ground they looked back up to the pods that hung in the sky. The bodies were now cleared from the ground, the Kryptonians at least, and the fires had been quelled.

“Lena.” Kara started. When Lena looked to her she saw Kara’s clenched jaw, “That was my father.”

“Yes.”

“That wasn’t Lex’s creation, he didn’t tamper with my father’s mind at all.”

Lena’s own jaw clenched now. So did her fists.

“N-no...he didn’t.”

“I spent so long wondering how someone could devote such effort into creating such evil creatures.” Kara’s voice was beginning to break again, “But if that  _ was _ Lex’s creation then he wouldn’t have tried to protect me when you stabbed me. A-and I realised…” Kara sighed in frustration and moved to clear tears from her eyes once again, “I realised that all of this...this destruction and this hatred...this was my father. It wasn’t Lex. It was him.”

Lena pulled Kara to her chest and held her as her body was wracked with shudders and sobs again. Through her tears Kara gripped onto the rod and hissed through gritted teeth in a tone so quiet Lena could barely hear it, “Take them back. Take them back to Argo City and tear apart the portal. Tear apart the barrier. Tear apart Argo City. All of it. Let it die.”

After a few minutes the pods moved in unison back to space. Cheering could be heard from the surrounding streets. Kara collapsed to her knees and began to wail with gut-wrenching anguish. Lena followed, Alex by her side as well, and they held Kara again.

Lena had now had a while to reconcile Lex’s evil with his good. She remembered how hard it had stung at first, though. She remembered disbelieving that Lex would ever set off that earthquake. Denial had come so easily and so strongly. Then the anger. The sadness. Bargaining, anger, denial and anger and anger and anger again.

Kara had a long journey ahead of her, Lena knew that much. She just prayed that Kara would let her help along the way.

“Kara…” Lena said softly, coaxing Kara out from her stupor, “It’s done. We’re safe.”

Kara nodded through her tears. Her eyes were fixed on the sky for a moment longer, the pods no longer in sight, and then she turned back to Lena. The faintest smile graced her lips. She pulled Lena close to her again and softly placed her lips on Lena’s. With it the weight of the world fell from Lena’s shoulders.

“You’re safe.” Kara whispered, nodding once more. For Kara that seemed to be all that mattered.

Whatever came next Lena knew they could handle it. There would be hard times, certainly, but they had each other. They would face it together.

Lena was not going to let Kara be hurt ever again. Not once, she promised to herself. Not once.

 


	19. Epilogue

Kara had watched in silence and solitude as Argo City was torn apart. Holding the control rod she saw through the eyes of the Worldkillers and saw the portal fall from its place lodged in the sky. Buildings were razed to the ground. The bodies of the Kryptonian robots were burned along with it.

Kara wished in brief moments that she could have kept Argo City there but she knew it was only a source of hurt now. She moved forwards. She had to.

The Worldkillers were left in the abyss of space, over 75 lightyears away from Earth and, hopefully, far enough away from any source of light or life that there they would remain until the end of time. If not, then at least until technology was strong enough to destroy them.

Once the deed was done she went home. It was cleared of the DEO’s equipment by now. Any sign of the struggle she had with the Kryptonian robots had been fixed and covered. It was as if nothing had ever happened.

Alex joined her. Lena too. Calls flooded through from Eliza, J’onn, Winn, James. Lucy, Maggie, Clark and Lois. Even Cat Grant, once the news made it to wherever she was hiding, phoned to check Kara Danvers was still in one piece.

_ I never expected any less but you do have a penchant for finding trouble, Kara _ .

Some conversations were longer than others. Some reduced her to tears. Some brought a smile to her face. Each one was healing in its own way.

The first few days following the incident were the toughest. Kara barely had time to sleep and when she did have the time she barely got more than ten minutes before she jerked awake again in a panic. Lena and Alex especially insisted on teasing through her emotions. They insisted on working through her pain now so that it didn’t drag her down later. Kara knew they were right, sure, but it sucked.

Lena and Alex barely left her side but at the very least Kara could leave her apartment now. She could visit her friends. She could go back to work. Well, in a week or so when she wasn’t so jumpy.

The hardest parts of the day were when Kara fought. She fought with Alex. She fought with Lena. It was more bickering and snappy comments and slamming drawers more than anything else but it was how her anxiety manifested itself. They seemed to be dealing with her moods better than she did.

_ It’s a natural reaction to something this big _ . They said.

_ I should be able to handle it _ . She thought.

The easiest parts of the day were when the sun rose, though. It had not turned back to that violent red that reminded Kara so much of Krypton. For that she was thankful. She instead watched National City begin to heal and she felt herself begin to heal as well. It was almost catharsis, almost like watching herself being stitched back together.

\--

Lena returned to LCorp a week later for the first time in what felt like an eternity. Jess was waiting for her along with a smile and a full week of tentatively booked meetings with investors and journalists from all corners of the globes.

For her first week back Lena only stayed for a few hours at a time before returning to Kara, caught somewhere between worry and guilt still.

It was two weeks after the incident that Kara finally got some proper sleep. Lena was with her, holding her in her arms, as they watched some bad movies with a mountain of takeaway food.

Lena didn’t move, not even when her arm went painfully numb under Kara. Not even when a news bulletin flashed that an armed robbery was underway in the city.

_ Let her have tonight. You can have her tomorrow. _

Lena turned off the television and wrapped her free arm around Kara. Kara kept sleeping. She didn’t stir at all.

The morning after Lena woke to Kara’s glowing eyes gazing into her own. She always looked at Lena the same way.

“No nightmares.”

Lena’s heart picked up and Kara laughed at it, her hand now pressing against Lena’s chest to feel it. Lena wasn’t one to open herself up to vulnerability but here she was, lying with an alien in her arms who could hear her heart every time it pounded against her chest. That felt vulnerable but strangely it felt safe.

At least with Kara.

“That’s good.”

“Yeah, it is.” Kara cooed back, her voice soft and gravelly as if she had just woken up too, “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Lena Luthor.”

Lena’s heart started pounding harder, causing Kara to smile again. Lena tried to play it cool, though, and kept her face straight, “Probably work less. You wouldn’t have to worry about being seen with a Luth-”

Kara closed the distance between them and kissed Lena. It was meant to be brief but they held it and began to move into each other more. Their emotions and passion were shared in the moment and finally Kara pulled back, a smile still on her face and her eyes closed, “If that’s all then I think I can handle it.” Kara’s hands snaked around Lena’s body and pulled her tight. “It’s worth it.”

A couple of weeks later and Lena wrote to Lex again. She re-wrote the letter seven different times, never really sure of what to say.

In the end, though, she told him that she was safe. She told him that Kara Zor-El had come back to her. She told him that love was as creative as it was destructive. Maybe Lex could read between the lines. Maybe he would choose not to. 

Either way Lena felt her destiny was entwined with Kara’s. The last daughters of their great houses. Whatever that meant for the future it would be enough. Lena remembered her time growing up with the Luthors and, in an effort to push the children to work hard and keep succeeding they would repeat endlessly ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’. 

Rome like many great things took time and sacrifice. Healing would take time. Rebuilding would take sacrifice. Kara and Lena had taken time. They had taken sacrifices. That’s how Lena knew now, with all assuredness, that things would be okay.

It was late at night when Lena finished the letter. She left it on her work desk to be sent off in the morning and then began to pack up her things.

“Working late, Miss Luthor.” A voice sounded behind her.

Lena’s heart sped up, as it always did at the sound of that voice, and she turned to face Kara. The blue was always such a beautiful colour on her. The glyph on her chest glowed.

“No rest for the wicked, Supergirl.” Lena said with a smile.

Kara went to Lena, grinning as she moved, and lifted her up into the air, eliciting a yelp of surprise from her.

“I’m forcing you to come home, y’know.”

Lena wrapped her arms around Kara’s neck and looked into her mischievous eyes. She could hear her own heart now and a shiver went through her like she was on a first date, “Nothing would make me happier.”

As Kara stepped out onto the balcony Lena dug her head into the crook of Kara’s neck in preparation for take off.

“You know - I think I love you, Kara Zor-El.”

Lena heard Kara’s heart pick up now. It was always a satisfying sound.

“You  _ think _ ? Well, Lena Luthor,” Kara said, her grin now spreading wider as she bent her knees, readying to launch herself into the air, “I  _ know _ I love you.”

The pair shot through the sky, Lena’s stomach plummeting as it always did when she was in the air. Still, Kara’s laugh sent her heart soaring. Once above the city Kara kissed Lena so hard she was certain she would pass out.

Maybe Luthors  _ could _ have a happy ending. Maybe Lena could, at least.

El mayarah, Lena recalled. Stronger together - the words of the great House of El. Somewhat more optimistic to tell children than ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’. 

They would be stronger together. Kara and Lena. Super and Luthor. Their destinies were entwined, fate calling them together long before they ever met. Together they would be strong; stronger than any force that would try to divide them.

“I do love you!” Lena shouted to Kara over the gusts of wind. “I don’t just think I do - I know I do. I love you!”

Kara just grinned at Lena’s bumbling confession. Lena had yet to figure out how she became so uncontrollable and giddy around Kara but Kara at least found it endearing. Kara turned to Lena and replied, “I know.” After a moment Kara conceded and repeated, “I love you.” She set off towards her home and squeezed Lena even tighter against her chest, “You’re stuck with me now, you know.”

“I know.”

_ I’m happy _ .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wowowow! Thank you so much guys for going on this journey with me. I think I've mentioned before but honestly when I started this story I didn't have any plans or plots or anything, I was just bored and in love with Supercorp! This is my first fanfic (and my first attempt at writing a non-academic piece of work in like half a decade!) and I am so grateful to have had such a wonderful positive reaction from you guys - I hope you like the ending! For all the angst I enforced on you at my core I believe in hope and happy endings. Kara and Lena are certainly two characters who, in fanfic and TV land, deserve to have happy endings.
> 
> Please let me know your thoughts :) and I hope to see you all sometime soon! Now let's get ready for the rest of S2!!!
> 
> ~churroscuro


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